Chances Are
by McDreamOn08
Summary: When Meredith takes an unexpected journey to New York at 17, she meets Derek Shepherd, the good looking med student who she tries not to love. MerDer. R
1. I Don't Wanna Be

**A new story!**

**We begin our journey with Mer aged 17. Eventually MerDer.**

**I hope you enjoy it!!**

"Meredith, I have to go now!" Ellis yelled as loudly as her booming and agitated voice would carry. "I have waited ten minutes for you and I am not waiting any longer!"

"Well fine!" Meredith shouted from the kitchen as she entered the living room and faced her angry mother. "Just go to your stupid, screwed up dinner…just don't expect me to be here when you get back!"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that Meredith Grey!" Ellis screamed as her eyes filled with rage and flared with her voice.

The boisterous and vivacious seventeen year old young lady stood in front of the middle aged woman with her feet firmly planted on the ground; both women were as stubborn as who stared back at them. The younger of the two waited for another angry remark from her mother.

"We are leaving for Seattle tomorrow, Meredith…and for some reason you always have this compulsion to cause an argument every time we have to go away! I will not have you screwing around with the trip this time just because you are in a bad mood!" Ellis shouted.

In a somewhat fit of rage and anger, Meredith reached over and picked up her black and heavy hair brush and propelled it hard across the room; it's direction heading straight for her mother where Ellis reflexively ducked to miss the flying object directed at her head.

"Go to your room!" she barked at her daughter.

"You can't just tell me to go to my room mom!" Meredith exclaimed as her voice grew loud and high pitched in motion with her anger. "I am seventeen years old!"

"And while you live in _my _house Meredith Grey, you will do as I say, when, and exactly when, I say it!" Ellis shot back furiously as the anger boiled in her head from the sarcastic and bitter tones that escaped her seventeen year old's mouth. "We leave tomorrow and in the morning I will have Sid come and get you to take you to the airport. At this stage, I cannot stand being in the same room as you, let alone riding in the same small and confined car with you and your surliness!"

Meredith felt her widened green eyes fill quickly with burning tears as they formed fast on the brinks and edges of her eyelids, threatening to fall down her cheeks at a rapid speed. As they began to fall she felt the tears almost stinging her skin as one after the other, they slipped down her cheeks. Looking at Ellis once more, she turned on her heels and stormed up the steel spiral staircase.

And with that remark the one last word that she had for her daughter, Ellis turned on her heels, mimicking Meredith in someway and walked briskly out of the house, leaving her seventeen year old daughter vulnerable and utterly heartbroken.

--

"Miss Grey…"

There was no ability in eliciting a response from the heavily sleeping teenager who had overnight, managed to bury herself under a mound of thick purple and white covers that blocked out any possibility of illumination.

"Miss Grey…"

"Shit!" Meredith opened her eyes quickly with a frustrated shake of her head and looked up at the person she so desperately wanted to strangle for waking her so abruptly. Recognising the kind face staring back at her, she acknowledged Sid kindly.

"Miss Grey, I am sorry to wake you but we need to leave as quickly as possible," he said in his British accent with all ounce of sincerity and hope for the beautiful blonde that stared back at him. "Your plane is due for departure in an hour and you overslept…"

Meredith's eyes widened so much that they nearly bulged out of their sockets at that one, frightening and daunting statement.

"Seriously?" she cried. "Oh Sid…oh, crap…oh my god, my mother is going to kill me! She is going to throw me in front of the plane and wait for them to roll forward!"

She shot out of bed and dashed around the house frantically and desperately, for the fear of being late for Ellis Grey was not the most pleasant of thoughts. As she raced around quickly to collect her belongings she made her way to the front door where she noticed Ellis' AMEX card. Assuming that she would simply hand it over to her mother at the airport, she shoved it into her pocket and made one last glance around the room before she exited.

--

As Sid pulled up the beautiful black BMW sedan out the front of Boston's domestic airport, Meredith climbed out and snatched up her bags where she proceeded to blow him an affectionate kiss and make a run for the airport doors and the departure terminal.

Her breathing came in heavy and fast gasps as she ran as fast as her heavy bags and small feet would carry her to the gates.

_Crap_, she thought, _the doors are closed…_

And as she drew nearer to the departure gates of her flight to Seattle, her eyes fixated on the Boeing 737 slowly backing away from the tar mat and beginning it's transcontinental journey to Seattle. The same plane held her mother who was also travelling to Seattle.

"Shit!" Meredith yelled loudly and frantically as she realised that there was absolutely no hope of catching the now departing plane.

_Okay_, her thoughts managed to interrupt her once again; something that seemed to happen a lot when she was stressed and under pressure from her mother. _Now, I am really, really dead!_

_Screwed was the word._

_So, totally and completely screwed_.

As her dwindling reality sank in around her and her bags slowly weighed her down for her to realise she was stranded in her home down, she proceeded to throw her heavy and bulky bags at the cold and marble floor of the airport and then with all her might, she kicked them and released a frustrated and angry scream.

People turned to stare at the distraught and frustrated young woman, but with all consideration to her thoughts, it didn't bother her in the slightest. She sat down in front of the _Departures_ board and wondered just how long she would have to wait until she could catch another flight to the boring and stupid town of Seattle that her mother spoke so much about.

Not until tomorrow…

Crap.

Oh god, her mother was seriously going to hunt her down so that she could personally kill her.

God, if only she could get away.

Looking down momentarily she let her eyes fix on something that was sticking out of her pocket. Remembering it from earlier, she pulled out Ellis Grey's AMEX card that was now staring back at her.

"Screw it!" she said looking back at the departure times that now blinked in bright red lights.

_Hmmm…_she thought for a second as she wondered where the wind could blow her. _Vegas was far away…_

_Nah, she didn't like gambling…_

_How about L.A…_.? she thought to herself. _She was blonde, nonetheless, but in review, she wasn't so stacked… on the other hand, she wasn't sure that boobs factored in the equation… she could certainly work L.A._

_It was still so close to Seattle though; if she was going to go away she needed to stay as far away from Ellis Grey_.

In that moment, to Meredith, this meant that she needed to stay on the East Coast.

But where the hell on the East Coast offered fun and crazy thrill adventure so she could forget who she was for the moment.

"Flight 769 to New York is now calling all passengers waiting to travel or check in to boarding gate H17,"

NEW YORK!

"It's too perfect," Meredith said to herself as her anticipation for the adventure caught up with her words and thoughts. She turned to the flight desk as mature as she could. "I'll have a return to New York…"

And with that, Meredith Grey began on a new adventure.

**Well, it's a short beginning, but please Review if you want more!!**

**Amy.**


	2. New York, New York

**A bit of a long chapter, but my writing kinda got ahead of me! LOL.**

**Thanks for the reviews; there will be some familiar points in this chapter.**

When the short flight grounded at JFK Airport, it landed with a large and spine tingling thud that Meredith was not entirely used to. She turned to stare out of the small and almost visual blocking cabin window where she stared at the large and beautiful buildings of New York City. As a child, she'd seen New York only once when her mother had come to a surgical benefit, but looking at it now, it was apparent that her memory was in fact dimmed through age.

As she stood in her seat and nervously put one foot in front of the other, she walked through the tunnel and entered JFK's domestic airport terminal where she came face to face with a crowd of people that surrounded her. Looking around, she noticed that it was a combination of tourists that were excitedly stopping at windows to stare at the city stretch and business people running hurriedly through the marble floors of the airport with no consideration of the other people. Each person in that airport held a similar value with the only difference being their pursuit in the journey.

Looking around the busy airport, slightly daunted by the new found experience of her adventure, she let her large green eyes fixate on the accommodation booking stand that blinked back at her. Realising that she would indeed need somewhere to stay, she put one foot in front of the other and gathered her confidence to form a poised and mature stance. As she stood at the desk, the woman behind it gazed up and stared at her.

As she looked at Meredith, the woman raised slightly on her chair and stared at her in a somewhat confused and amused gaze; not knowing what to say.

"Can I help you?"

"I need to make a reservation for a hotel," Meredith told her in the most mature and adult tone that she could muster.

A midst the worried and shakiness in her voice, she managed to say what she needed.

The lady chuckled slightly at the request from the very young girl that stood before her, but Meredith wasn't amused in the slightest.

"For yourself?" the lady asked.

"My mom is a surgeon on a business trip for a VIP patient, she is staying at the Plaza and because school only finished this week I couldn't come any earlier…" Meredith told her as she put her mother's credit card on the counter and pushed it over to the other side. "She gave me her credit card because I'm not sterile enough for hospitals so that I could get my own room at the Plaza…"

The lady wasn't entirely impressed with Meredith's rambling but for some reason she found a small amount of truth in her story.

As Meredith hailed a cab with her three heavy bags in tow, she managed to convince a driver to take her to her hotel. Gazing out of the tinted yellow cab windows she let her eyes follow across the stretch of the beautiful New York City as they made their way across the Brooklyn Bridge. Just as she drew in a long, heavy and wistful breath as her cab pulled up at the hotel and she stepped out, her cell phone began to vibrate and ring as the techno trance ringtone filled the busy New York street with the sounds of Boston teenage youth.

Meredith groaned heavily and loudly as she read the caller ID that flashed before her in the rage she knew the person was feeling.

"Hello?"

"Where the hell are you?" Ellis shouted.

"I missed the plane," Meredith answered rudely.

"Clearly! So, I reiterate…_where are you_?"

"I am…um…." Meredith looked around at the fabulous city that surrounded her and wondered if she could spill. "I went straight home...I'll stay here…"

"Why weren't you up earlier?"

"Slept through my alarm…."

"No excuse Meredith Grey! For once in your life, why couldn't you simply take responsibility for yourself?"

"I'm not sure…" Meredith said sarcastically.

"That's because…"

Meredith didn't give her rage sounding mother any chance to complain about missing the plane anymore and with one swift and quick movement, she flicked her phone shut and stepped through the doors of the hotel to enter the beautiful lobby.

--

After a day of spending Ellis Grey's money in ways Meredith never thought possible and seeing sights of New York that were more beautiful than any movie could offer, she dressed herself in a little black dress and stunning black heels and planned to head into the New York night scene.

She entered the elevator and checked herself in the mirror before she hit the bottom floor. As she exited the hotel, she climbed into the waiting hire car; a beautiful black Mercedes with cream leather interior.

"Where to miss?" the driver asked.

"Um…I'm not sure," Meredith giggled. "I guess you could take me to the classiest New York nightclub…"

The driver frowned for a second and glanced in his rear view mirror.

"How about Manhattan?" he asked.

"Sounds good,"

The cab driver seemed slightly amused as he pulled away from the curb and began driving in the busy New York streets.

"Are you travelling?"

"Yeah…."

"What's your name?"

"Meredith…what's yours?"

"Lenny," he replied in an accent that resembled that of a Queens accent from years of living in New York.

"Lenny," Meredith repeated to herself once more. "So Lenny, tell me something…is there a bar or a club that would be nice for a young, first time New York tourist?"

Lenny chuckled.

"Well Meredith, there is this great Manhattan bar called _Cocktails and Dreams_," he answered. "And this bar sits above a pretty rocking nightclub called _Shooters_,"

Meredith smiled.

As they reached the front of the nightclub, Lenny pulled up slowly and raced around to open the passenger door. Meredith took his hand as he helped her out of the car as she smiled at him.

"Here is my card," he said as he pointed to the finer details. "This here is my number for my car…if you need a driver tonight, just call it and I'll be here as quick as I can,"

"Thanks Lenny!"

Meredith reached into her brand new _Gucci_ purse to retrieve a fake ID she'd had from when a friend of hers was making them. She walked over to the bouncer and watched intently as he glanced over the picture and date of birth before glancing back at the blonde bombshell when he stepped aside to let her pass.

Meredith walked over to the beautiful timber and oak bar, breathing in a different smell to the seedy nightclubs of Boston. As she sat on the barstool, the barman approached her.

"What can I do for you gorgeous?"

"Tequila,"

"Straight?"

"Yeah,"

"Vacation?"

"Sure is, so keep them coming…"

Meredith sucked back her first shooter and felt the sensations of the tequila tingle the backs of her throat. Letting her eyes dart around the room, she eyed a very good looking and dark haired guy standing at a pool table. At the same time that Meredith's eyes focused on him, he looked back up at her for an instant to let their eyes lock momentarily. In the next moment, however, he turned back to the table to take his shot.

As Meredith turned back to down another shooter of tequila, the liquid slid down her throat and she felt it burn at the resistance of the alcohol; she didn't care, however, because she was on vacation.

Remembering the very good looking guy from earlier she then turned her head quickly to glance back over her bare shoulder to stare at the pool table, only to find it empty. Frowning in defeat Meredith turned back to the bar to take another shooter of tequila.

As she picked up the third shot glass she saw a glimmer of red form in the corner of her eyes along with a fleck of dark hair that caught her attention a little more.

"A single malt scotch…" came a deep and husky voice from next to her at the bar.

Meredith then turned to stare at the guy in the gorgeous red shirt and stopped to realise that it was he she was staring at only moments earlier; the same guy taking the fluke shot at the pool table.

"Another for me too…" Meredith said to the barman with a smile as she tried her best to avoid the gaze that fixed on her right then.

The guy stopped and stared at Meredith for a moment as he let his eyes adjust to the beauty sitting next to him. He watched intently as the barman poured a shooter of tequila and handed it over to Meredith who, with a shaky hand, picked it up and threw her head back so that she could suck it into her mouth.

"Tequila?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"That's hardcore,"

"So am I,"

"Vacation?"

"Yeah,"

"Far from home?"

"No,"

"Escaping?"

"Maybe…'

"Interesting,"

"Not really,"

"Another one?"

"Absolutely."

A couple of shots later, Meredith was most definitely beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol that she'd consumed in the past hour that she'd been at the bar. At this stage, however, she found herself acting bold and crazy as she rested her hand on the guy's knee and giggled hysterically.

"So…I have been sitting here talking to you for a while, and I haven't yet asked your name…" the guy said.

Meredith smiled and flicked her loose blonde curls over her bare shoulder as she stared at him with a smile.

"It's um…Meredith," she told him.

"Well Meredith…" he said with a smile. "I'm Derek."

Meredith couldn't help but smile almost shyly; she loved the way that her name sounded as it rolled of the tip of his voice so perfectly and softly. Actually she loved the way _his_ name sounded…she loved his name; it enhanced mystery and sexiness in a way she couldn't imagine.

"Do you have a last name Meredith?" Derek asked with a slight chuckle. "Or are you _just_ Meredith, like say Cher or Madonna…because that could be slightly sexy."

Meredith laughed at his quick humour.

"My last name is Grey," she said.

Derek raised his eyebrows as he took another sip of his drink and stared at her for a moment; focusing on her beauty as her green eyes twinkled gently at him and smiled with her mouth. He then took a deep breath and inhaled a scent that was so familiar to him…but he just didn't know what it was.

"Grey?" he said. "Did you know that there is a very famous…actually, _the_ most famous woman surgeon with that last name…"

Meredith giggled at that answer; it was definitely the response that she anticipated and she really debated telling him.

"Ellis Grey," she said.

"How did you know?" Derek asked her with a slightly confused look. "Are you a med student as well?"

"Nah," Meredith sighed. She put a shooter to her lips. "I'm just her very, very messed up daughter…" she then sucked the alcohol back quickly.

Derek almost choked on his drink as the words escaped those beautiful and sweet lips he'd been staring at all night.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah…"

"You're Ellis Grey's daughter…?"

"Uh-huh…"

"Wow!"

"Not really…"

"Touchy subject?"

"Yeah…"

"Another one?"

"For sure,"

--

It wasn't before too long that Meredith and Derek had both had way too much to drink and she was having a very hard time standing up; when she did, she leaned over the bar to collect another shot of tequila as her and Derek began shooting pool balls in a drunken manner.

"So, I gather that you're in med school…seeing as though you know my mother…" Meredith asked.

Derek nodded.

"But seriously…your story…did you really use your mother's credit card to take a trip to New York?" he asked. "God…my mother would really kill me if I did something like that…."

Meredith laughed.

_She was going to be SO dead._

"What about your age…?" Derek asked. "I mean, how the hell did you manage to scam a hotel suite under the age of 18…? I guess you could kind of pass…but I have scotch goggles on tonight…and if you really did pass…the people of New York are stupider than I imagined…"

"Have you ever seen the Macaulay Culkin film _Home Alone_?" Meredith asked Derek with a giggle. "Well I watched it so many times when I was young that my mother threw out the tape…anyway, that kid was totally my idol! He hated his family so much and he manages to escape to the Big Apple…and since then, it has always been a goal of mine!"

"To escape to New York?" Derek repeated.

"Amongst other things…" Meredith replied.

"Shep!" came another male voice that Meredith found equally as sexy.

"Mark!" Derek turned around to greet another guy who appeared to be his close friend.

Meredith whirled around after taking a pool shot as she smiled at the stranger who had now crashed their conversation.

"Mer, this is my best friend Mark Sloan…" Derek said as he pulled his friend's arm. "And sitting in his hand is _his_ best friend, Jack Daniels,"

Mark turned to Meredith an extended one of his free hands as he flashed a drunken and cheekily flirtatious grin.

"Mark, this is Meredith Grey," Derek said.

"Grey…" Mark repeated. "Man, I've heard that name one too many times this semester…"

"Daughter of Grey…" Derek said to him as he pointed at Meredith.

Mark's eyes widened.

"Get outta here!" he cried.

"I was really liking it here though, Mark." Meredith chuckled as she looked at the astonished look on Mark's face.

"Man…I'd kill to have Ellis Grey as a mother..." he cried as the green monster entered his words.

"You'd kill _yourself_ if you had Ellis Grey as a mother!" Meredith answered bitterly.

After she was convinced by Mark to have a few more shots of tequila, she flicked her attention to glance at her watch. She gasped quickly as she realised that it read 3:47a.m; never had she stayed out so late, but then again, she couldn't remember when she'd had more fun. Thinking to herself that it would be a good time for her to call it a night she walked over to the cab rank with Derek.

In an instant, however, she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her in close.

Staring into her perfectly shaped green eyes, Derek let his lips move closer to hers as he leaned in to kiss her softly.

As the kiss slowly began to deepen, Meredith pulled back quickly as she allowed it to leave her breathless and overcome with emotion.

"I had a great night Meredith…" he whispered into her ear as his voice prickled on her hearing seductively. "It's a shame it has to end…"

Meredith ran her small and delicate hands over his smooth and soft red buttoned down shirt. She paused for a moment and stared into his warm and crystal-like blue eyes while her vision caught sight of the yellow cab that pulled up.

"It doesn't…"

Derek's eyes widened.

"What?" he managed to say.

"Get in the cab, Derek…" Meredith said softly as she stood up on her tip toes to kiss the skin just under his ear.

And with that, Derek followed Meredith into the cab as it made it's way through the busy streets of New York City, all the way to the Plaza Hotel.

**Okay, sorry to leave you hanging there; but what did you think of the interaction between Mer and Der? **

**Let me know if you think that a bit of mild sex would be too much for the rating; it wouldn't be porny, but there could be a little bit of detail, so if you think T rating is enough, let me know!**

**Show some love...hit the purple button...**

**REVIEW!!**

**Amy.**


	3. Your Body is A Wonderland

**I've tried to keep this as detailed but romantic as possible without warranting the T Rating.**

**ENJOY!**

A drunken and stumbling Meredith and Derek walked through the doors of the Plaza Hotel in what appeared to be somewhat a combination between running and skipping as their feet hit the marble floors. As they incoherently made their way to the elevator Meredith tried to balance her weight on both feet but failed miserably as she swayed from side to side, lacking the ability to virtually stand still. Derek was about the same, as his single malt scotch drinking had hit him in a way that he hadn't felt since Mark's 21st birthday; he couldn't help but stare at Meredith, thinking to himself that she was the most beautiful woman…girl….or however… that he'd ever seen. Noticing him staring, Meredith seemed to lose control of her emotions and in an instant movement, she whirled around to grab his shirt in a fistful and kiss him deeply and softly at the same time.

Derek's smooth and sweet lips covered hers in a way that Meredith had never known as he tenderly rubbed his lips over Meredith's slowly and softly enough for them to part slightly so that he could slip his tongue in.

Breaking the motion of their passion for a short and brief interval, the elevator dinged in their ears and they turned around to realise that although it was an ungodly hour, there were people staring at them. Giggling, Meredith climbed onto the elevator as Derek's arms wrapped around her and lifted her up off the ground so that his kisses could intensify for just another moment.

Meredith giggled again as the weight of Derek's body pressed her against the cold and shiny wall of the elevator; the shock of the cool air caused her to flinch and squeal in shock as he ran his hands over her stomach. His lips trailed slowly and sensually along her neckline and moved gradually down her stomach that was covered by the flimsy black dress, which was now becoming hard to keep on.

Grabbing his hair through the webs of her long and delicate hands; she grazed his skin with her cheek, letting his stubble run over her face as his mouth moved back up to her face.

In what had seemed like the longest elevator ride in history, they finally reached the intended floor. With one quick and desperate movement, Meredith grabbed Derek's hand and dragged him to her hotel door as she fumbled through the same simple black purse that she'd carried with her all night. Her hands shook in anticipation as she searched frantically for her hotel key card.

Unlocking the door incoherently in a drunken state, she proceeded to throw her belongings to the carpeted ground, letting lipstick, eyeliner and various makeup items scatter at their feet, followed by her cell phone and two condoms. Once again, however, she felt Derek lift her up with his strong and large arms as he carried the much smaller body over to the lounge.

Meredith leaned up from her sinking feeling into the couch as she kissed him softly and slowly; she flipped around in a quick motion so that she could then straddle his waist; feeling him harden under her, busting in the denim of his black jeans. She ran her hands down over his chest and seductively unbuttoned his shirt, kissing the skin that was slowly becoming exposed. Just as her hands fumbled at the last button and reached for his belt buckle, his hand quickly moved hers away where he then proceeded to unzip her dress.

"Not fair…" Meredith managed to murmur against the intensity of his kisses as they deepened and sought more from her.

Derek chuckled loudly against her lips as her impatience amused him; he attempted to deepen the kiss as his hands fumbled with the straps on her dress and desperately anticipated touching her bare skin. As the dress fell off her shoulders, it exposed the top half of her body. Staring intently at the vision of her sitting before him in her black bra, he ran his fingertips over the fabric and let his hands touch the bare and soft skin of her chest.

"You are beautiful…" he whispered as her eyes tranced him into a daze that lost him in the sparkle of emerald.

Meredith smiled for an instant.

"Shut up…" she said as her fingertips and then her hand, covered his lips in an attempt to silence him. "We need rules for tonight…"

Derek's eyes widened.

"Rules?" he repeated.

"Rule number one…" Meredith told him with a twinkle in her eye. "The lights will not come on at all…"

Derek let his eyes travel down her skin as it glistened in the moonlight and stopped to wonder just how on earth he could literally stay in the dark. To him in that moment, he wanted to not only feel, but to see her radiating beauty.

"Rule number two…" Meredith continued in the bossiest of tones. "There are no comments, no talking about how either of us look…calling me beautiful is completely out of the question…"

"But you are…" Derek protested.

"Rule number three…!" Meredith interjected before he could begin to break rule number two. "You _cannot_, absolutely no way, fall in love with me…" she said as her eyes darted from side to side across his face. "I am leaving here in three days and I absolutely refuse to be subject to the long lost love club!"

Derek smiled at the forcefulness that sounded through the pertinent beauty of her voice as she continued to stare at him with anticipation. He leaned over and kissed her gently.

But then, for one split and brief second he actually stopped kissing her and simply gazed into the seemingly amazing emerald city that flared in sexual anticipation for whatever he chose to do next; he was completely and utterly lost – convincingly enchanted by the sheer beauty of her gaze that reflected a combination of emotions. He knew that somewhere, under the burdened soul of this beauty, there was a heart filled with hope for moments in life that existed only in situations like this.

"Stop…" Meredith whispered.

"Stop, what?" Derek asked.

"Stop staring, Derek…" she told him softly as she ran the pad of her thumb over the top of his lips. "Just have sex with me…"

Derek let his lips curl into a smile once more as his hands travelled slowly through her hair, beginning at her scalp and finishing at the bottom strand, where his fingertips grazed down her arm and fell onto her waistline. He then proceeded to trace small and sweet circles around her protruding hip bones. As her shaky and unsteady hands pushed his closer to her panties, she almost felt as though he shuddered with nerves.

Meredith felt her eyes glaze in sheer ecstasy as every touch and every inch of her body shook in the moment that he created magic she'd never known.

"Oh my god…" she murmured as she pressed her mouth and face into the sharp and prickling crook of his neck where her breathing fell heavy in quick gasps as she felt her body spasm. For a second, however, she pulled back slightly and stared into his loving and kind blue eyes. "I have a better idea…"

"Enlighten me…" Derek said.

He gasped slightly as in once quick and swift movement, she unbuckled his belt and exposed his longing desire just enough for her to wrap her fingers around him gently and edge it closer to make the sex only imminent.

"I like your thoughts…" Derek told her.

Meredith giggled as Derek's strong arms flipped her down onto the lounge where his whole body covered her; the pressure and resistance he felt for a second soon eased as he entered her.

For one second, in one brief and enchanting moment, Meredith and Derek lost all control until the waves of bliss overcame them.

--

Not too much later, Meredith had wrapped a robe around her small and delicate body as she stood on the balcony, overlooking the entire east end of Central Park. As her thoughts deepened around the moment she only just experienced, she felt Derek's strong arms wrap around her and pull her close.

"That was…" he said.

"Amazing…" she finished.

"Are you…?"

"Fine…"

"But you've…"

"Nope…"

"You're a…?"

"Virgin…"

"Seriously…oh my god…" Derek gasped as he clapped his hand over his mouth in gaping shock. "But Meredith…it was supposed to…and oh god…"

"Derek…" Meredith turned around and covered his mouth. "Let's just go to sleep for a couple of hours…"

Derek nodded for an instant and followed her to bed where he wrapped his arms around her and they fell asleep.

**I hope you were satisfied with that, I am really loving the reviews, so keep them coming!! **

**SERIOUSLY! LOL.**

**REVIEW...**

**Amy.**


	4. Goodmorning Beautiful

**Okay, it's a pretty short chapter, but I liked the dynamics of them waking together.**

Meredith felt a really light and cool breeze slip under the divine thread count sheets she had partially slept in that night; it seeped under the covers and engulfed her thin and long legs in a chill. As her body shuddered slightly but evidently, she felt a warm and strong arm draw her low and close to an even warmer and stronger body, she immediately remembered as Derek's. As she glanced up lazily to the clock, it flashed a bright and loud 11:26am; groaning to herself, she let her green eyes flutter shut once more.

"Are you awake…?" came a soft and sensual whisper in her ear that she had heard all night.

Meredith groaned a little louder than she had before as she rolled over gently, burying her head under the covers and nestling her face against Derek's chest; somewhere, under the covers though, she knew that he was smiling.

"Mmm…" Meredith managed to murmur as her hangover seemed to find it's way into her head.

"How did you sleep…?" Derek asked quietly.

"Okay, I guess…" Meredith answered with a yawn; her voice was muffled under the covers. "Once I actually fell asleep though," her voice sounded tired and exhausted.

Derek chuckled.

His beautifully strong and smooth hands snaked their way easily under the blankets and ran over her abdomen. He touched every inch of bare skin that his hands could find and let it breeze like satin under his touch.

"Still reeling?" he asked with a slight chuckle.

For the both of them, however, the night before had been incredibly magical and Meredith knew without a doubt she wouldn't forget it anytime soon.

"Mmm hmm…" Meredith answered sleepily.

Derek laughed again at her dimming response to his question and tried his best to pull at the covers so that he could reveal her face.

"Mmm…no!" Meredith groaned.

"Come on Mer…" Derek said sweetly. "Come out from under those covers and let me see you…"

Meredith shook her head amongst the mound of blankets.

"No…I wanna hide…I look like crap…"

"I could hardly believe that…now let me see your beautiful face…"

Meredith stopped shaking her head; she'd heard what he'd said and didn't like it in the slightest.

"You're breaking rule number two…" she told him.

Derek laughed.

"Those crappy and senseless rules were for what we were doing last night Meredith…" he said in the softest and sweetest of tones; a kind of huskiness crossing his voice, making it sexier than ever.

Meredith groaned, yet again; she knew her defeat in response to that statement that escaped his mouth. She pulled the thick and heavy covers tight around her face in order to somewhat avoid the amazing look in his eyes.

"Come on…" he said tugging at the covers.

Meredith wasn't about to give up on this however, because she knew somewhere deep down that she couldn't resist him with one look into his dreamy blue eyes that searched the depths of her soul.

"No…" she responded flatly as she continued to clutch to the covers that sat around her face.

"Please…"

"No…"

"I'll give you a chocolate…"

"No…I hate chocolate…"

"How about room service…?"

Meredith giggled under the covers.

"Maybe…" she said meekly.

"With bacon and eggs…"

"Waffles?"

"If you want them…"

"Okay…"

Her weakness broke in the satisfaction of the light stroke that his hand made when it breezed, once again, over her stomach and down the side of her waist; sitting comfortably on her hips. Meredith slowly and cautiously poked her head out from under the covers.

"There…" Derek smiled with those eyes once more. "Now…that wasn't so hard…was it?"

Meredith laughed and then winced as she put her smaller hand to her forehead and groaned loudly.

"Now…you see…this is why I don't drink tequila…" she said as she rubbed her forehead just above her eyes.

Derek chuckled and leaned down so that he could kiss her sensually; something still familiar from the night before.

"No…" he said softly and seductively as his voice slipped into her ear like the ice cream into a chocolate dip. "This is why you do…" he kissed her once more.

Meredith felt herself, yet again, getting completely and utterly lost in the passion that came through in his kiss. It was so amazing and comforting as his larger lips guarded her smaller lips. In an instant, however, she pulled back.

"Mmm…" Derek instinctively moved forward so that he could continue to kiss her. "What is it?"

"Breaking rule number one…" Meredith attempted to say; her voice, however, came out in a raspy and breathless tone.

Derek groaned.

"Sex with a light on…?" he sighed as his hands travelled over her cheeks and sent tingling sensations through his fingers. "But…Meredith…we actually, technically don't have a light on…"

Meredith laughed.

"It's daylight…" she pointed out.

"Meredith…I've studied science for the past four years and I am telling you that natural illumination and artificial lighting are two _very_ different things…" Derek said.

"Not in these sheets buddy…" Meredith replied.

"Come on Mer…" Derek smiled as he pulled her forward. "I wanna see that sexy body…"

Meredith shook her head with a giggle and rolled her eyes at the sweetness in the tone of his voice.

"Breaking rules one _and_ two!" she told him as she poked his chest with her somewhat ineffectual fingertips.

Derek leaned over to kiss her.

"Didn't you ever learn that rules were meant to be broken…?" he asked seductively.

**Okay, expect a longer update next time... I just wanted to write this to play out their somewhat forbidden relationship... Well, it really would be if Ellis found out... but maybe she will??**

**Thank you so much for the reviews...**

**Please REVIEW again!!**

**Amy.**


	5. All Dressed Up In Love

**I really owe everyone a HUGE thank you for the reviews; it makes the world of difference to open my inbox to 10 reviews in something like six hours. So I really hope that you are enjoying the story; I am loving writing it - there are so many more things I want to do and this is _really_ only the beginning. Notice the significance for Meredith when she visits a certain landmark.**

In retrospect, Meredith had been classic to making poor decisions and really stupid mistakes; hell, her mother reminded her all the time. She knew that somewhere deep down she was a mistake, her mother's biggest mistake; then again, believing that she was truly a disappointment was all she seemed to do. There were mornings where she'd stand in her pyjamas in front of her _Vogue_ styled bathroom's full length mirror and discover every flaw and every detail that was so completely wrong with the reflection.

She'd had a feeling however, that after last night, this thing…or whatever it was, with Derek, well she started to believe that it was just as bad and becoming a huge mistake. But she wanted to believe the contrary, for what had happened the night before was more magical and incredible than she'd ever known.

So, that morning after they'd eaten all their breakfast and sipped coffee over a casual read of the newspaper, Meredith let go of all willpower that warned her against it, and accepted a date with Derek so that he could show her the sights of New York in a way he described as, _in the eyes of a local, designed for a tourist_.

"Hmmm…" Meredith frowned as she stared at the outfit she'd laid out on the bed and tried her best to make a decision; another flaw she was becoming slowly agitated with. Black jeans…well there was no question that they were a complete shoe in the door, but the tops were a completely different story. She stared aimlessly at them; the electric blue halter top was low cut, and in review, slightly slutty; and looking at the lavender tank top, it really wasn't any better.

She snatched up her new deep red sweater from one of the shopping bags she'd accumulated yesterday and slipped it over her head; the gentle knit fabric hugged her curves perfectly and complimented her lively green eyes perfectly.

"Very, very sexy…" came Derek's husky voice.

Meredith whirled around and smiled at him widely.

"Now…just because you think you've broken all the rules…don't you dare…" Meredith went to say as his kiss-ready lips came crashing into hers in a force that was equivalent to a wipe out wave.

Pulling back, a little stunned with his impulsivity and spontaneity, a raspy and surprised gasp escaped her lips.

"Whoa…"

"I still have one rule to break…" Derek whispered in a tone that almost shocked Meredith. There was something incredible about that statement, but in the same wind, there was almost an ounce of sincerity that scared Meredith in ways she could never have known.

"Don't you dare…" she warned.

Derek shrugged; he knew that she was completely freaked by what he'd said and while the joking intentions were implied, he couldn't help but find a small and miniscule element of truth under the goofiness. Planting a small and gentle kiss on her lips, he made his way over to the door in a quick stride and snatched up her bag.

"Are you ready to see New York?" he asked with a smile that made Meredith weak in the knees.

Meredith's lightly and sexily glossed lips curled slowly into a wide smile that Derek swore he'd never seen.

She clasped her long fingers around his larger hand, taking a firm grip and then moved onto her tip toes so that she could kiss him lightly.

"Take me for a ride, Derek…"

* * *

"Well, Meredith…it's good to see you!" Lenny commented as the beautiful blonde, once again, climbed into his car in a vivacious and overly bubbly way; the same young lady that had done so only the night before.

"Hey Lenny!" Meredith said happily as she placed a warm and gentle hand on his shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze and a smooth rub. "So, Lenny, this is Derek…he is going to give me the local's tour of New York, especially designed for the tourist…"

Lenny jokingly clutched his shirt with a chuckle.

"Mer…" he laughed with his even more evident Queen's accent. "You broke my heart, baby!"

Derek threw his head back with laughter.

"She's certainly a heart breaker…isn't she?" he commented as he rested his hand on her knee. "You can even make the car drivers fall for you!"

Meredith giggled to herself and blushed lightly; as he noticed her rosy cheeks, he ran his fingertips down them with a comforting smile.

"So, where to…?" Lenny asked.

"Um…." Meredith looked at Derek for prompting.

"The Statue of Liberty," Derek answered.

Meredith smiled widely; it was really going to be a great day for her in the beautiful city of New York.

* * *

As the car pulled up, Meredith drew in a deep and wistful breath as she slowly poked her head out of the car door, her feet hitting the ground shakily as she suddenly felt overwhelmed by the sight before her. She leaned against the door and stared up as high as her neck would bend at the amazingly beautiful Statue of Liberty. It was absolutely huge; magnificent and in some respect, this one true American icon, held a point of relevance for Meredith in that moment.

"It's really awesome…" she commented.

Derek kicked a pebble on the footpath in front of him and stared at dazed and awe-struck seventeen year old that was before him. Noticing how amazed she was, he made his way over to her side of the car.

"You know, this place…it's the _one_ place where I can just stop, and think…and almost let the world around me just…disappear…" Derek sighed.

"Yeah…" Meredith replied.

"And almost…for one second…you can feel…"

"Free…"

"Yeah…"

Derek took that one instantaneous opportunity to lace his larger fingers through her delicate ones as he edged her comfortingly onto the footpath; deep down, he knew that she was pondering on some dark and twisty thought and in that second, he really wanted her to relax and do just as he said; to forget the world and momentarily disappear.

"Don't you ever want to disappear…?" Meredith whispered as she stood under the statue and stared up into the clear and beautifully blue, New York sky. "I mean, you say that you want the world to disappear…but don't _you_ ever just want to… see if the world keeps going without you…?"

Derek wrapped his arms around her tightly; letting her fears circulate through his warm skin that caressed hers unknowingly.

"Yeah…" he answered. In an attempt to lighten the mood he let his thoughts escape his lips with a chuckle. "You know…" he whispered seductively. "There is a stairwell that is full of empty spaces…"

Meredith laughed to herself.

"You have a _very_ dirty mind…" she chuckled.

Derek's breath fell softly in her ear as it tickled her skin and gently caressed her senses in a way she'd never know; sending visions and emotions through her mind that she'd never thought or seen.

"Only with you…" he whispered.

"Breaking the rules…" she warned.

"I don't care…"

"But we…"

"Can be _very_ quiet…"

"I'm not sure…"

"…If it's possible? Neither…"

Meredith whipped around and slapped his chest.

"If _I_ remember correctly, because I have to admit that last night is slightly a tequila haze…_I_ wasn't the one taking the beautiful down pillows and shoving them in my mouth while shouting _for the love of God_, into it…" she told him.

Derek's mouth gaped in shock, but he chuckled, nonetheless as he tugged at her hand gently and longingly.

"Mmm…I'm not sure…" Meredith said.

Derek, like the perfect gentleman, stopped persisting.

"Okay…I'll pester you later about that one," he answered. "So, how about lunch on the Stanton Island Ferry?"

Meredith smiled.

"Sounds good to me," she answered.

While dining in the very fancy lounge of the ferry, Meredith and Derek talked more about many things that were crossing their minds; they made jokes about things they attempted to remember from the night before; they mocked each other's lunch orders like a regular couple and shared drinks like they'd been doing it for years.

"So…why don't you and your mom get along…I mean, she's Ellis Grey and you're wonderful…" Derek said.

Meredith shrugged.

"I'm a disappointment…" she sighed.

"How?"

"I guess, I just…well, I fail my mom over and over again…"

"That's not true Meredith…I'm sure if you asked her…she'd tell you how proud she is…"

"My mother, Derek…my mother is most definitely not proud of me…I'm ordinary compared to what is expected of Ellis Grey's daughter…" Meredith sighed heavily. "To Ellis Grey…I am the most unlovable…biggest mistake of her bright and shiny life…"

* * *

After taking Meredith around New York for a little longer, Derek surprised her once again with an evening screening of the _Wicked_ musical once he learned that her childhood favourite movie was _The Wizard of Oz_. When the show concluded around dinner time, he followed Meredith back to the apartment.

They climbed onto the elevator and Derek grabbed her quickly so that he could kiss her beautiful lips once more; softly and sensually, enough to enhance how she felt right then.

"You drive me crazy…" he murmured.

"I want you so much right now…" Meredith managed to say through her desperate and longing kisses.

As the elevator dinged at their floor loudly; they were startled from their kisses, both edging for the endless possibilities of what could occur in that hotel room for both participants. Meredith fumbled desperately for her hotel key card as the intensity flowed through her stomach as she felt his lips touching her neck.

Giggling loudly, she managed to open the door. Just as she was about to follow the prospects of what her mind was screaming, she came face to face with her biggest fear that Derek recognised in an instant.

The angry woman glared at the teenager and her company as Meredith's eyes strained in shock.

"Mom…" was all Meredith could say.

**Okay, don't kill me for leaving you there; the next chapter is on it's way and I am desperate for you to read it. **

**REVIEW PLEASE!!**

**Amy.**


	6. Almost Lover

**I was really, really desperate to get this chapter up, so after I went to bed last night, I decided to get up early and finish it!! I thank you all for the reviews and I hope you can somehow enjoy this chapter!**

Meredith's usually calm and steady breathing grew strong and heavy as her biggest fear was recognised in the angry and rage filled eyes that flared back at her with a combination of emotions. Those eyes, however, were green just like her own and yet they had nothing but a stony and hard look that was filled with resentment and fury for the young woman standing in the reflection.

"Oh my god…" Derek gasped; this face had been plastered across many books he'd read in his last year of medical school.

Meredith, on the other hand, was completely and utterly stunned and lacking any ability to muster a sound; her mouth simply hung in a somewhat gaping shock that truly indicated how she felt.

"My conference was cancelled…" Ellis informed the pair as it confirmed their first question.

Meredith's mouth, then, filled with a combination of incoherent sounds and shocked expressions.

"But…how did you…I mean…" she stammered.

"I came straight back home when I found out that it was cancelled, because deep down I knew that you were not responsible enough …" Ellis continued as her voice grew louder and angrier by the second.

Meredith was completely stunned.

"I walked into an empty house to find out that, not only was my daughter missing, but my AMEX card I had deliberately left behind…well that was, in fact, gone as well!" Ellis shouted.

_Yeah, I'm busted…_ Meredith thought to herself.

Amidst the drama that was now filling the very thin walls of the beautiful and large hotel suite, Derek was trying his very best to make sense of what was exactly happening. Looking at the women, he noted that although they were so incredibly different, they were in fact very much alike.

"And then I thought to myself…" Ellis said. "I took a small ounce of faith in the fact that surely this couldn't be something that my daughter would do…because I thought you were smart!"

Meredith drew in a sharp and nervous breath at one of the statements that was so typical and classic to the true Ellis Grey.

"But…I was kidding myself, wasn't I?" Ellis said in her next breath. "Because low and behold…look where we are Meredith…"

Meredith felt tears form in her eyes and begin their trek down her cheeks, stinging the skin as they slipped at a speed that left Meredith with no hope of stopping them. Once again, she realised, she was the product of her mother's disappointment and was in fact the thorn in her side.

"It's funny you know…" Ellis said bitterly. "Because I am certain that only _my_ daughter could think of doing something that was so incredibly stupid…so ridiculously deceitful…so god damn irresponsible!"

"That's not true!" Derek interjected as his protective emotions got the better of him in the complete heat of the moment.

Realising to himself that he may, in fact, have just given the scariest woman alive a reason to murder him or somewhat take out a personal hit, Derek proceeded to cover his mouth.

"And who the hell are you?" Ellis shouted angrily at the young man who had just spoken out of turn.

"D-Derek Shepherd…" Derek managed to say as he stumbled and tripped on his words nervously.

"I don't care _who_ you are, Derek…I want to know what in the hell you are doing with my seventeen year old daughter in a city filled with muggers and creeps?" Ellis shouted.

"I…uh…um…" Derek couldn't find the words to answer the strong minded and scary woman before him.

"And it's interesting, because you look a _lot_ older than my very irresponsible and naïve daughter,"

"I'm twenty-four…"

Ellis' deep and glazed green eyes flared with a persistent rage that had consumed her mind in the past few minutes. Her rage intensified with her anger directed at the helpless boy standing before her.

"I could have you arrested!" she yelled angrily in a tone that frightened both Meredith and Derek.

Meredith's eyes widened.

"No!" she screamed.

Ellis stopped for a brief moment and stared intently at her very passionate and very distressed daughter.

"He has done nothing wrong mom!" Meredith yelled hysterically as tears continued to flow freely down her flushed cheeks.

"Meredith…" Ellis went to say.

As rage consumed her voice in a way she'd never known and hysteria and distress sunk into her mind as she desperately tried to reason with her mother, Meredith continued.

"No!" she screeched loudly. "It's my turn to talk mom!" her hands shook profusely as she tried to fight her emotions.

Derek's instinctive reaction was to reach for the shaking hand and take it in his. It was a reactive moment where he tried his best to comfort the incredibly distressed young woman beginning a downward spiral of emotion.

"You don't get it!" Meredith yelled frantically at Ellis as tears flowed freely down her cheeks and her feet planted firmly on the ground so that she could stare down the very scary woman before her.

Ellis shook her head at the ridiculousness of the melodramatic display that her usually calm and level headed daughter was subjecting herself to.

"Derek, in the space of two days has managed to take better care of me than you have in seventeen years!" Meredith shouted loudly as she locked a flighty gaze with her mother.

Ellis put her hands on her hips.

"And if you do anything to him…" Meredith said. "If you have him arrested…so help me…I will…"

Ellis scoffed.

"Derek…is it?" she asked him.

Derek nodded.

"Derek, if you don't want two very large security guards to come up here and arrest you, I suggest that you take your hand away from my daughter and leave, because while her intentions were incredibly noble and melodramatic, she has indeed forgotten, a midst her stupidity and naivety, that she is in fact a minor…and that in this state, it means _you_ can get in a lot of trouble!" Ellis said angrily.

Derek nodded obediently and turned to Meredith to see her beautiful and dazzling green eyes fill, once again, with tears that showed how truly distressed she was.

"Mer…" he said softly.

"No…" Meredith whispered as she shook her small head over and over again with disbelief; she wasn't about to lose him in the midst of this very ridiculous and dramatic moment.

Derek put his hand gently to her cheek and ran his thumb under her eyes to catch the tears that were flowing from her eyes.

"I'm sorry…" he said softly.

Meredith couldn't help but begin to cry; she didn't want to lose him and she knew that she was.

"Oh for god's sake Meredith, get a hold of yourself!" Ellis cried as she moved closer to her daughter.

"You can't do this!" Meredith screamed at Ellis as she grabbed onto Derek's upper arm desperately and clung to it with little intention to let go. "You can't do this to me!" her grip tightened around his arm. "Please don't…" she sobbed as tears flowed quickly down her cheeks.

Ellis then moved swiftly to take a firm and hard grip on her daughter's arm as she glared at Derek angrily.

"Go!" she told him.

Derek's oceanic blue eyes filled with desperate and saddened tears as he tried his best to fight his emotions. In the most horrible of emotions he'd ever felt, he pulled his arm from Meredith's grip and took a step back to the door.

"Derek…no!" Meredith screamed loudly enough to make Derek shudder in sadness. Her screams echoed through the walls of the room as she fought her mother's tight grip on her much smaller arms.

Derek let only a few more tears roll down his cheeks as he melted to touch the doorknob.

"I'm sorry Meredith…" he whispered as his strong heart crumbled and broke to leave behind the very distressed and inconsolable young girl in her mother's tight and forceful restraint.

In that very painful moment, Derek experienced more emotions than he'd ever known; for him, walking away was the hardest, most difficult thing he'd ever had to do. To leave Meredith there with Ellis was making his decision harder, but deep down, he knew he had to…it was the best thing for her and he had to go.

And then, in the heightened and distressed pitch of the screams that were escaping Meredith's mouth, Derek did the hardest thing yet; he stopped to take one longing glance at her. His eyes were filled with sadness and regret for the decision that he was making; and for an instant, her eyes were most definitely saying the same thing.

"Please…" she pleaded through her sobs that were increasing their volume to an almost deafening level.

"I'm sorry…" Derek said as he choked on his tears that flowed freely down his cheeks as he walked out of the door and made his journey onto the waiting elevator.

As Meredith managed to break free from her mother's tight grip around her arms, she carried her feet as fast as she could and made a desperate and sobbing beeline for the now closing elevator door.

But, she was late enough to see the large doors close on his saddened and tear streaked face.

"No!" she sobbed as her tiny and ineffectual fists pounded on the cold and hard stainless steel doors of the elevator. Her sobs were echoing in a chilling sound through the hotel corridor.

And in that one instant where she felt she'd lost everything, Meredith crumbled to the cold and hard floor before the elevator where she sobbed uncontrollably. Hitting her hands on the ground repeatedly, she knew that she'd broken rule number three.

**Yeah, I know, it's horrible and heartbreaking; but they're Meredith and Derek... they will find each other again... maybe eight or so years later at a little hospital called Seattle Grace...**

**Okay, sorry but the whole hint was obvious!! We're going to time travel about eight or so years in the next chapter.**

**ENJOY and REVIEW!!**

**Amy.**


	7. Manic Monday

**

* * *

**

Okay, a few details for you.

**We are now 8 years future.**

**Ellis does not have Alzheimer's and she is living with Richard.**

**Mer has only recently moved to Seattle from Boston; her and Ellis are partially amicable, but needless to say, Ellis is still, very much, Ellis.**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

As she entered the house, Meredith took a long and drawn glance around the empty yet box cluttered room and let loose a heavy and loud groan; she never quite understood why her mother was so insistent on her completing her residency at the hospital which Ellis had been appointed the Head of General Surgery. Meredith would have been completely and utterly happy to have simply completed her seven year residency at Boston General Hospital; she hated rain and from the looks of the skies that morning, the rain frequently visited Seattle's weather bureau, this fact alone put a damper on Meredith's thoughts.

There was another problem that Meredith couldn't help but groan about was the fact that her mother had indeed met someone in the time she'd lived in Seattle and the house she'd vacated had was now Meredith's. A ridiculously oversized and sort of creepy house that Meredith's mother had owned for something like twenty odd years, making the house slightly hard to give up.

Meredith remembered the house quite well; she'd seen photos of it over the years and had a very small recollected thought of living in it when she was about two years old; but nevertheless, she wasn't in the mood for her mother's recently found nostalgia and wondered why on earth she had to stay in this creepy old house. For one, it was a fair twenty minute drive to the hospital, and in the next trail of thoughts, she wondered how she could manage living here on her own.

"Meredith!"

In true Ellis Grey tradition, she pushed her way through the glass front doors as she let her feet hit the floor in thuds, indicating not only the strong willed personality, but the slight weight gain her mother had incurred from living with a fantastic cook. But then, Meredith stopped for an instant to wonder how her overbearing and pushy mother had managed to gain a key to her house.

"Oh…hey mom," Meredith answered in a quick breath as she gathered her belongings from the coffee table and shoved them into her rather large handbag that was only filled with her purse and sunglasses.

"It's good to see you've unpacked…" Ellis commented sarcastically as she eyed the boxes.

"I haven't exactly had time to mom…" Meredith sighed heavily.

"You're going to be late!" Ellis informed her somewhat busy daughter in the next breath she took. "And you know that is not something you want to be on your first day of work…"

"Mom…" Meredith groaned as she threw her bag onto her shoulder and rolled her eyes. "Do you remember that you called me at six thirty this morning so that I wouldn't be late for work which begins at nine-thirty!"

"Meredith, you know that diligence always makes a lasting impression in the workforce…" Ellis told her.

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Tie your hair up!" Ellis said quickly.

Meredith twirled a black hair elastic around her index finger to indicate her point to her mother.

"I've got it covered mom!" she answered.

Ellis shook her head and groaned at her daughter's sarcasm.

"I'm going…" Meredith said with a sigh. "I'll just see you when you get to the hospital,"

Ellis managed to wave her hand lazily at her daughter as Meredith turned on her closed ballet flats and walked out of the door.

* * *

"Yang, O'Malley, Grey, Stevens!" a voice came through the locker room and called the interns to attention.

Meredith piled her heavy belongings into her rather small looking locker and wrapped a blue stethoscope around her neck; smoothing the wrinkles out of her blue scrubs. She turned to the Asian girl standing beside her, doing the exact same thing.

"I've got Bailey, who are you with?" she asked.

"The Nazi?" Meredith asked with a light chuckle. "Yeah that's me too," she said. "You're Cristina right…?"

"Yeah…" she answered as she turned to eye the bright eyed blonde and a rather dopey looking male standing next to her; her eyes darted up and down their rather odd expressions. Groaning for a split second, she then looked up at the guy directing the interns to their resident. "Bailey?"

The guy turned to point over to the rather small and harmless looking African American woman standing with her hands on her hip and leaning against the desk at the nurses' station.

"That's the Nazi?" the dopey boy scoffed as his eyes darted across the short woman who appeared rather tame compared to the rumours. He turned around to look at Meredith. "I'm George…" he said.

Meredith didn't seem to notice.

"But I thought the Nazi would be well…a Nazi…?" she cried with a hint of disbelief in her voice.

All four interns made their way over to the desk where the woman turned around abruptly and frowned at the hopeful faces.

"I have five rules…memorise them…"

* * *

Meredith carried her feet around the long and winding hospital corridors as quickly as she could on a desperate pursuit to find Dr. Bailey. In that moment, she felt that she had absolutely no idea whatsoever with what she was doing; the pitted feeling in her stomach also told her that as a doctor and particularly Ellis Grey's daughter, it wasn't such a great feeling.

"Dr. Bailey!" Meredith called out as she dashed after the fast walking and rather scary doctor. "Katie Bryce…well, her parents have questions, lots and lots of questions…do I speak to them…or do I ask Dr. Burke?"

"No…no," Bailey said with a groan. "Katie belongs to the new neuro attending, Dr. Shepherd…he's over there…" Bailey pointed over to the other side of the room at a doctor before turning to walk away.

_Shepherd_…Meredith thought. _Whoa…it had been a while since I've heard that name…_

And then she turned around to see a distant glimmer of a fleck of very familiar dark and curly hair.

"Oh my god…" Meredith breathed.

_But it couldn't be…_

_Or could it?_

_He was on the other side of the country…_

_Funnily enough, two weeks ago, Meredith was too… but it certainly couldn't be possible…_

He turned around to lock eyes with the wide eyed and stunned blonde that stared at him from across the room. Almost instantly, as he drew in a sharp and inward breath, he stopped to stare. Just as she was he, too, was curious to know if the familiarity was a coincidence or if, in fact, it was she.

In a quick and almost desperate stride, his feet carefully stepped one in front of the other and walked over to her.

"Meredith…?"

"Derek…"

Derek's eyes widened for an instant and he stopped to stare in disbelief as he wondered if it was possible that this was truly Meredith Grey standing before him. In the instant that he stared into the amazing and trance filling emerald green eyes, he knew that it was _most definitely_ her.

"Oh…my god…" he said.

"This is…" Meredith started.

"Incredible…" they still, after all this time, managed to finish each other's sentences.

"You look…"

"Amazing…"

"But you're…"

"Head of Neuro…"

"In Seattle…"

"Moved three weeks ago…"

"Wow…"

"Yeah…"

And then, for a brief interval and a split second in the moment that they realised they'd been caught in fate, their equally twinkling eyes locked on each other and stayed there for a small moment. But then in one brief second, Derek's strong and rather large arms reached out for her small and fragile body an enveloped her into a warm hug.

"It's so good to see you…" he said.

"Dr. Shepherd…" came a male voice that Meredith recognised instantly as that of Richard Webber.

Meredith and Derek pulled away from each other quickly and whipped around to see him standing there.

"Chief!" Meredith acknowledged him.

"Hello, Meredith…how are you settling in?" he asked.

"Not too bad…" Meredith answered.

"Dr. Shepherd…" the chief turned to Derek for a split second and stared at him with a strange look, "The other Dr. Shepherd needs a neuro consult on a neonatal trauma case that has just come into the pit…"

Derek nodded.

"So…one of the famous Shepherd sisters works here as well as you?" Meredith asked.

The chief stared back at Derek with another strange look.

"Actually…it's uh…my, um…wife…" Derek answered awkwardly as he shuffled on his feet.

Meredith felt every inch and ounce of hope fade from her longing green eyes and the pitted feeling in her stomach settled as her heart sank into the back of her chest. Hoping that her disappointment wasn't too obvious, she managed a smile…or at least attempted one.

"Whoa…it's really been too long…I guess a lot can happen in eight years…" she shook the thought of the other woman in Derek's life to the back of her mind and stared back at him. "I actually need a consult myself…Katie Bryce in room 2245…suffering from grand mall seizures with no indicative reason for the cause of them…"

Derek nodded.

"I'll come by for a consult," he answered as he rested his hand on her arm gently and smiled at her with the same smile eight years ago. "It was really good to see you again Meredith…"

And with that, Derek Shepherd walked back into Meredith Grey's life in the very interesting twist of fate.

**And they meet again!! So, all very exciting, but unfortunately, Derek is, in fact, married to Addison.**

**As I said before, however, they are Meredith and Derek... and what is MerDer without adultery?? **

**Okay, I am going to stop giving out hints.**

**REVIEW!!**


	8. A Little Too Late

**Sorry for the delay in the update; I have been suffering writer's block. I really appreciate the reviews so please keep them coming; it makes updating a whole lot easier!!**

Meredith was beginning to find herself growing oddly distracted in a day that had already been ridiculously long and exhausting. She couldn't begin to understand just how on earth Derek managed to be here; in Seattle of all places; and strangely at the same hospital as her…

With a wife…

A wife…

That sole and important detail played over and over in her already congested thoughts that had slowly manifested throughout the course of the day. I mean, sure, eight years had, in fact, passed and really and honestly, a lot can happen in that length of time. But she had to wonder, if, in fact, time had really taken that great a toll on her life.

"Grey!"

Interrupting Meredith's unlimited amount of bemused and puzzled thoughts that contributed to her most recent daydream, she whirled around on her new Converse sneakers to see a rather frustrated looking Bailey, making her stride through the corridors and towards Meredith at a rather rapid speed.

"Yes, Dr. Bailey?"

Bailey frowned and folded her arms.

"Why is there still a stack of post-op charts sitting unattended at the nurse's station?" she asked. "Because, when I ask you to do something, I expect that you do rather than wandering aimlessly through the hospital…"

Meredith sighed heavily.

"I…uh…well…" Meredith said nervously. "I was actually just about to get to that…I uh…got lost…"

"Well now that you have managed to find your way, get to it!" Bailey exclaimed as she shook her head repeatedly at the rather confused looking, doe-eyed intern standing before her. "God damn interns on exploration adventures in a hospital…useless…I swear…" she muttered as Meredith walked away.

--

Derek was wandering slowly and distantly out of OR2 when his lost thoughts were interrupted as he nearly ran into the vivacious and sexy red headed woman.

"Honey!" she said happily.

"Addison…" Derek said breathlessly as he came face to face with his wife as she smiled at him. "God, you scared me…"

She leaned up, a midst her rather tall height, and kissed his cheek lightly and sweetly; pleased to find a familiar face amongst the crowd of unfamiliar people.

"How is your day?" she asked.

Derek shrugged.

"It's not too bad, I can't complain…" he answered. "How is yours?"

Addison smiled.

'Great…but I can't help but over hear all of the first year interns talking about some guy they call Dr. McDreamy…" she replied.

Derek raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Who is Dr. McDreamy?" he asked.

"Apparently, according to very credible sources, he is some new and big hot-shot doctor with this notoriously perfect hair…" Addison told him with a slight giggle evident in her voice.

Derek shook his head, without understanding the intent of what his wife was saying.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

Addison laughed to herself.

"Well, honey…" she walked over to the elevator and pressed the call button before indicating towards her husband. "Look who I am talking to…"

Derek ran his hand through his hair as they climbed onto the elevator.

While riding it to the third floor he chuckled to himself.

"It's not that perfect…" he commented with a laugh.

Addison chuckled and leaned up to kiss him.

"Yeah it is…" she answered.

Just as their lips parted, the elevator dinged at the floor and the doors opened so that Derek could catch a quick glimpse of Meredith talking to Ellis.

"Crap…" he said.

Addison frowned and directed her gaze so that she was looking in the same direction that he was.

"Oh my god…is that Ellis Grey?" she exclaimed as her eyes widened so much they could almost bulge from their sockets.

With no warning at all and little time to react, Addison grabbed a hold of Derek's hand and made a beeline for their direction, dragging him behind.

"Dr. Grey!" Addison said.

Ellis and Meredith both turned around to see the two people making their way over to them. Meredith's eyes widened just as Addison's had earlier; the prospect of the new found confrontation was beginning to dawn on her.

"Uh-oh…" she muttered.

"Dr. Grey…I'm Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd…but you can call me Addison," Addison said excitedly.

"Ah…of course, the new neonatal specialist…" Ellis said. "Yes, Richard has said something about you…wait…did you say Shepherd?"

Derek looked at Meredith with a worried look as Ellis then proceeded to look at him suspiciously; the facts of the matter were indeed dawning on her and all of a sudden she remembered.

"And we meet again, Derek Shepherd," Ellis said rudely.

Meredith shuffled on her feet nervously as the company of her mother and long lost love with his wife was intimidating her to a great extent.

"The last time that I saw you Derek, you were turning your back and walking onto an elevator in New York…" Ellis reminded him.

Meredith held her breath for a second to suppress the choking feeling that was consuming her throat.

"Addison…" Derek interjected quickly before anything else could be said about that fateful trip. "This is uh…Dr. Grey's daughter Meredith, she is just starting her residency today,"

Addison smiled.

"Well, it was great to meet you both…" she said. "Anyway, I am on my way to a consult…I'll see you later…"

Addison then turned on her feels and walked away; her black pumps were hitting the marble floor in clicks, and her pencil skirt moved with her legs.

Derek turned to look back at the two very alike Grey women and let out a somewhat nervous chuckle.

"I…uh…I have to go…" he said.

Ellis frowned as he walked away.

"Who was that other woman…his sister?" she asked.

"His wife…" Meredith answered with a sigh.

Ellis nodded.

"Well, I think it's good, it means that it is one less distraction for you in this place…" she said. "Have you been assigned to any cases?"

Meredith shook her head.

"Bailey has me on post-op charts," Meredith said.

"Well then I suggest you get back to it so that if Miranda needs you on a case, you're able take it on!" Ellis said.

Meredith nodded.

--

At hour 47 of the notoriously long first shift, Meredith found her way to an empty gurney near the vending machine where her, Izzie and Cristina conversed about the trials of their shift.

"So…are you seriously telling me that McDreamy is your long lost summer love?" Izzie cried.

Cristina scoffed to herself at the complete and total ridiculousness of what Izzie had just said, knowing that Meredith certainly didn't seem the type for the whole summer romance kind of thing.

"Keep your panties on Danielle Steel!" she cried to a baffled Izzie. "She's certainly not a part of any such associated club!"

"But…Cristina, you've gotta admit…it's so totally and completely tragic!" Izzie cried as she clutched at her scrub shirt, just over her heart. "It's like Romeo and Juliet meets The Notebook meets 90210…"

"Wait, wait…Izzie…90210?" Meredith cried.

Izzie nodded.

"Of course…it's like a Brenda and Dylan romance…the prototype of the _Brylan_!"

Meredith's green eyes widened.

"The what now?"

"The _Brylan_…of course! God…do you not read tabloids or watch television?" Izzie asked. "Like…the Brangelina…or in your case the…how would you say it…?" she pondered on her thoughts for a moment.

Meredith and Cristina stopped and exchanged a look between themselves and wondered what on earth she was talking about.

"What the hell…?" Cristina asked.

"She's nuts!" Meredith cried.

"MerDer!" Izzie exclaimed.

Meredith looked at Cristina was horrified expression as Cristina let go of a spluttering giggle.

"What's a MerDer?" came a questioning male voice.

"Nothing!" Meredith said quickly and responsively as she turned around and gasped at the rather puzzled and confused gaze that was looking in her direction with wide blue eyes.

Izzie and Cristina looked at each other with an almost surprised expression and then back at the male.

"Labs…" Izzie said quickly.

"Uh…yeah…charts…" Cristina chimed in.

In an instant Cristina and Izzie both jumped up as quickly as they could and made a mad dash for the door leaving a rather shocked and nervous Meredith standing with the one and only Dr. McDreamy.

**I hope you enjoyed the update!!**

**REVIEW as always.**

**Any suggestions are welcome!!**

**Amy.**


	9. So Close

**The reviews that are coming in are fantastic!!**

**Please note that while you all hate Addison in this story, she is a very big role! I would love to get rid of her straight away, but it is not the concept of the story; I do promise that this fic will eventually be MerDer...just as Izzie said! LOL.**

Meredith stopped for a moment to let her mouth hang in a somewhat gaping shock; it was one fact for that matter that they were now working in the very same hospital, yet another that he was now invading her secluded area.

"Der – I mean…Dr. Shepherd…" she couldn't seem to find the nerve to form coherent words in that instant.

Derek sighed heavily.

"You don't need to call me Dr. Shepherd…" he told her.

Meredith shook her head repeatedly; she was, in fact, trying to get her head around the thought of kissing him.

"Where's your wife?" she asked him flatly.

"She just left…she was on call last night," Derek replied.

"Yeah, I know…" Meredith answered knowingly. "I saw her in the pit a few hours ago…"

"So…um…" Derek shuffled from one foot to the other in a somewhat uneasy manner; he looked at her and realised that her eyes held the same firing intensity that he remembered clearly from eight years ago; a very gentle and light sparkle was still very much evident amongst the now large and dark circles that were forming under her eyes. "This is uh…"

"Crazy…" Meredith answered with a quick breath of nervous air. "I just can't believe that eight years has passed Derek…" she sighed nostalgically. "And yet…after all this time…"

"It is a clear as it was yesterday…" Derek finished.

"Yeah…"

And for a moment; in that one brief and splitting instant, both figures stood incredibly still; their immobility consumed every action that had intended on producing. The disbelief and wondrous gazes both displayed so much more than what their words were speaking in that moment.

"She…uh…Addison…well, she seems lovely," Meredith said.

Derek nodded.

"She is…"

"How did you meet?"

"I…uh…well I guess when you left New York…I did a lot…_a lot_ of drinking…" Derek said quietly.

Meredith stopped for a second and peered at him intently; something in the back of her mind wondered if, in fact, he was the same Derek Shepherd, despite time taking absolutely no toll on his appearance. But then his eyes looked up at her and for a split instant, their eyes locked – a combination of green and glittering hazes gliding into misty blue fogginess where both souls reacquainted with each other.

"And she was…what?" Meredith asked him with a smile. "Your AA consultant?"

Derek managed a light chuckle amidst Meredith's light humour as he diverted his wavering attention to his forming words.

"No…" he assured her. "She was a…uh… she was a regular at one of the bars I frequented on the occasion…" he said. "It was funny, because she ordered a _Tequila Sunrise_…and I don't know…"

Meredith frowned.

"When I went to the bars….it was like, every time I heard the word _tequila_ come from a woman's mouth…I just, well…my heart skipped two beats…" he continued. "I just held so much hope that I would see you again…"

Meredith nodded.

"And then…I guess…well, I ran into Addison a lot of time…more and more and it seemed that it wasn't just at the bar…it would be at the gym, and at my favourite coffee house…a place I'd cure the night before hangover I was suffering that day…" Derek said.

"And you started to forget…" Meredith sighed.

Derek shook his head.

"No…"

"It's okay, Derek…I understand…"

"No Meredith…I never, ever forgot you…" Derek replied. "I just found that well…it became so much easier to remember you…"

Meredith nodded and swatted a couple of tears from her eyes.

"I didn't sleep for weeks…" she said quietly.

Derek sighed.

"Neither did I…"

"I guess…well, I just…I went over it and over it, every single, tiny and miniscule detail in my head for exactly the same reason…" Meredith told him softly as she released a tiny sniffle from her nose.

"Why…?"

"I just…I wanted to know…I mean…" her voice trailed off to the point where it was barely a whisper.

"Meredith…"

"I wanted to know why…"

"Why what?"

"Why you walked away…what I'd done wrong…"

Derek let go of a heavy and regretful sigh as his face dropped into his open and waiting palms where he rested his head.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong…" he told her.

Meredith shook her head to somewhat avoid the newfound tears that were spilling down her cheeks at an uncontrollably rapid speed. It was like, in the many years she'd spent studying the last minutes they were together, nothing had ever been as clear as the way he said that just then. But she remembered just how she felt for the instant that he left…for the weeks after, and that didn't go away with just a couple of words in one long sentence.

"I didn't believe anything else…" she told him tearily as she tried to stop her voice from shaking the way it was in that moment. "I didn't want to leave you…I didn't want you to leave me…"

Derek felt his eyes filling with the tears that he so desperately wanted to control as they threatened to spill down his cheeks and take away the strong and brave façade that he was positioning himself in.

"Believe me when I tell you Meredith, I certainly didn't want to leave you either…" he sighed as his delicate but somewhat strong thumb wiped away Meredith's tears ever so gently. "But Meredith…there were so many things…so many reasons that…well…I mean…"

"I know…" Meredith said sadly.

"You were only seventeen…I mean…I was…I think that in some way you were running in a direction…and I know you understand what I mean…you knew, yourself, that I would not have stopped you…" Derek told her as his palm cupped around her cheek and rubbed the skin around her cheekbone.

Somewhere, deep down in the lengths of her heart, Meredith knew that this was incredibly and painfully true, as much as it hurt her to admit to the fact; at seventeen, she knew how completely out of control she was.

"But just so you know Meredith…to avoid any sort of confusion in that beautiful mind of yours…." Derek inched closer to her face for a brief and fleeting moment where his breathing grew hot and heavy on her skin. "Leaving you…and well, climbing on that elevator…well, that was the hardest, most painful decision I ever had to make…"

Meredith felt her now evident heart racing rapidly in her thorax as it's strength and speed threatened to pound through her chest in any given moment as in a split second she swore that she'd heard it beating.

"I knew Meredith that somewhere in the pain…and somewhere in those deafening and heartbreaking screams…I knew that it was the right thing to do for you…" he said softly. "I knew that deep down, in my heart, you would be okay…"

His lips seemed to gently and ever so closely linger over her waiting mouth; his words were bouncing back off her lightly and shimmering glossed lips as the heat of his voice seemed to grasp at her senses while it tingled the skin on her now flustered face.

Meredith drew a deep and inward breath as she let her eyes drop down in a nervous and shaking movement as the intensity of his gaze became much too much for her to hold any longer. His hand, however, cupped her chin and let his skin graze under it as he brought it back up so their eyes were completely level.

As their gaze lingered for just a moment more, where their eyes met amidst the escalating emotions, Meredith felt the danger of his very tempting and tantalising lips too much. But in a quick and impulsive, nonetheless, movement, he leaned forward enough so that their lips could press together.

Meredith's hand drew around to the back of his hair raised neck where her fingers traced lazy circles around the nape as she clutched it in order to further deepen the already passionate kiss. Time had certainly not changed the way he kissed because it was exactly how she'd remembered it from eight years ago. It was sweet and gentle, yet the sensual movement made it more delicious and amazing as every unspoken emotion was surfaced in the gentleness.

And then, his shaky and tingling hand managed to snake it's way from around her waist where it sat safely, and into more dangerous territory as it moved to her stomach as he let his magical fingertips caress the waistband of her scrubs as he skin melded with hers.

"Derek…" Meredith murmured under her breath as the kiss deepened and his hands managed to slip under her scrub pants desperately.

"My god…" he growled in her ear. "I want you so bad right now Meredith…" his muttering was a heavy and sensual grunt on the tips of her auditory sense as he desperately sought more of the beautiful body that had, to him, only become more beautiful with age.

"Derek…!" Meredith pulled back quickly.

Their breathing mimicked one another in a way that they'd never known as they stared into the reflecting gaze; both were desperately wanting more but knew the somewhat resulting fate if they continued.

"I'm sorry…" Derek whispered.

Meredith shook her head quickly.

"I…I have to go…" she jumped up and ran from the room leaving Derek behind to evidently catch his breath.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

**Soooooo Close!!**

**REVIEW and let me know how you think I am going; have they got the chemistry? Anything you think I can improve...?**

**Amy.**


	10. Burning Love

**A bit of a building, foundation type chapter with a bit of humour.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, I really appreciate them, more than you could imagine!!**

On her way home from her very first shift, Meredith was seemingly ever so distracted by what had happened in the walls of that hospital only a very short hour prior. You see, she never quite understood the significance of why seeing him again seemed to trigger so many crazy and fleeting emotions along with a very long and winding trail of afterthoughts.

As she pulled her oversized blue Jeep up at the old colonial styled house which she assumed was empty; a bright light in the dawn of the morning caught her attention along with two flickering shadows in the front living room window.

In a fleeting and startling shock to her system, Meredith drew in a sharp, deep and inward breath as she began to wonder if, in fact amidst the craziness she once believed, her mother was indeed right when she said that an unlocked door was an open invitation.

Her green and once secure feeling eyes widened as wide as they could go when she stared hard and long at the shadows that were now moving about freely in her house; one figure was evidently taller than the other and as Meredith tried her best to stare sharper, she noticed that their movement appeared somewhat lulled.

"Typical god damn burglars…" Meredith muttered to herself amongst the fear that was soaring through her veins in that instant; the adrenaline pumping hard in her body as she proceeded to turn of the noisy ignition and let her other hand shakily reach for the doorknob.

As she fearfully climbed out of the safety of her car and leaned against the door while she stared at the front door. As she made her way over to the house, her somewhat small ears prickled at the sound of her new Justin Timberlake CD that had filled the outdoor air from the somewhat thin walls of her once believed, safe house that held her heart captive to the many insecurities of her childhood.

"_Sexy Back_?" Meredith whispered to herself in a shocked and startled amount of disbelief. "What the…?"

She stood almost stationary for a moment at the front door of her house and let her free hand reach for the doorknob shakily.

When she would be calm enough to actually stop and review the situation a little more rationally, she would actually realise the sheer and utter ridiculousness of the fact that she was even considering entering the house. Somewhere along the line however, she liked to believe that those long and gruelling six or so months in kickboxing classes had indeed paid off.

She opened the door slowly, well as slowly as she could and let the old and rusty hinges that had slowly deteriorated over time creak and click and crackle as her usually heavy feet, hit the ground as softly as the freshly polished hardwood floor would allow. Her sneakers grazed the timber and thankfully for the rubber sole, didn't seem to make a sound, up until which time however where that one pain in the ass loose board, squealed with the resistance of her foot.

She stopped and gasped in a brief second that she believed she completely blown her cover; but her pondering thoughts drifted to the fact that should the music not have been playing she would have been completely and so totally busted.

Her large and now fearful blazing green eyes darted desperately from side to side and up and down as they travelled ever so incredibly nervously across every point of the now dimmed foyer until for one second, they stopped and focused intently on the object that may indeed provide her with a strong suit of self defence in what was becoming a hellish ordeal. A large and bright green umbrella that usually served the purpose of shielding her from the constant Seattle rain would now be her weapon of self defence.

"Hmm…I think that a bit of blunt force trauma to perhaps the occipital region would be sure to knock them out…" Meredith muttered to herself in a somewhat self assuring way of developing a game plan.

She put down her large bag ever so gently with all intentions not to make a sound amidst the noise that was coming from the blasting stereo. She reached down and wrapped her two small hands around the top handle of the umbrella so that she could form a tight grip on it.

Holding it as high and as tight as she could possibly manage above her head, she made her way over to the kitchen door where she took the opportunity to assume that it was where the majority of the noise was, in fact, coming from.

Much to her shock, however, she came face to face with a somewhat shrieking and startling horror.

"Argh!" Meredith screamed as a face stepped into her field vision that was previously flustered and mortified.

"Argh!" the person screamed back.

"Izzie!" Meredith shrieked in sheer horror as the once believed burglar, now appeared to be her very shocked friend. "What the hell are you doing here…in my house?"

Another familiar face that Meredith didn't expect came into vision and elicited a high pitched girly scream.

"George!" Meredith cried.

Both Izzie and George exchanged nervous and shocked gazes yet amongst the drama, managed to laugh.

"It's not funny!" Meredith protested loudly. "I thought that you were burglars! I was scared out of my mind!"

"Why in god's name did you come into the house if you thought that we were burglars?" Izzie cried.

"What the hell was your self defence as a rather small woman…were you planning on knocking us out with a freaking umbrella?" George chimed in.

Meredith glanced over at the umbrella that was sitting in her left hand and then proceeded to throw it at the ground.

"I just…never mind…what _I_ want to know is how in the hell did you manage to get in here?" she asked.

George held up Meredith's driver's licence.

"It fell out of your bag at the hospital…" he told her with a smile. "So Izzie and I decided to do the friendly thing and bring it over to you,"

"_I_ was going to simply just slip it under the door, but for some reason the door was, in fact, open…" Izzie informed her.

Meredith folded her arms.

"Which, I might add…for your naïve information, is incredibly and ridiculously stupid Meredith!" George exclaimed. "Didn't your mother ever tell you that an unlocked door is an open invitation?"

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"So…anyway, Izzie went inside…"

"You followed!"

"And we looked around this amazing house only to find all of these empty rooms!" George said. "And I mean…they don't belong to anyone because you are the only person who lives here!"

"Your point being?" Meredith asked.

"Four spare rooms – you need roommates!" Izzie cried.

Meredith shook her head.

"No, I don't!" she answered.

"Mer…let me paint you a picture or an image of what my life is like at this present time…" George said. "The last time that I was getting ready for work, my mom…my _mom_, Meredith….she packed my bag with freshly ironed scrubs and three pairs of clean underwear! Oh…and yeah, when I went downstairs, I came face to face with my lunch box that she'd gone out and bought for me!"

Izzie burst out laughing.

"You're a loser!" she laughed.

"I wouldn't be if I had another place to live…somewhere away from the confinements and sheltered lifestyle of my household!" George retorted.

Meredith groaned.

"Mer…" Izzie rested her palms on the lowered level of Meredith's shoulders and sighed heavily. "I am an absolute fantastic cook and to top it off, I am a complete and totally obsessive cleaner!"

Meredith shook her head.

"I don't want roommates!" she said.

Izzie folded her arms.

"As if you wanna live in a massive house like this by yourself?" she said. "And by the looks of it…after tonight…I'm not sure that you could be trusted to be left alone!"

Meredith sighed heavily and stared back at the two incredibly pleading and desperate faces; she had wondered just how she'd get by in a big old house with no other person but herself to worry about; sure it would be okay for the first few months. Deep down, however, Meredith knew that after those months had progressed she would definitely and without a doubt become lonely. Surely, Izzie and George couldn't be that horrible to live with.

"Fine…" Meredith sighed heavily. "I'll give you both a one month trial – if you blow it…or screw up in any way, you're out!"

_This is good_, Meredith thought to herself, _It is one more way to avoid Derek and the hell trials of this lifestyle…_

--

The pit was hideously and incredibly overrun the next morning with the annual events of Seattle's _Dead Baby Bike Race_ that seemed to put the entire hospital in a somewhat eventful state. Just as Meredith had believed that she'd pulled a pretty amazing case with a ruptured peritoneal cavity, Derek brushed passed her with an opportunity that she couldn't pass up.

"Dr. Grey…" he said as she walked passed him with the rest of the intern group as Izzie and Cristina flashed a suspicious glare. "I am doing a hemispherectomy in OR2 at eleven…any interest?"

Meredith looked at Bailey seeking some valuable level of approval; because some things didn't get passed her that easily. With an endorsing nod from her superior, Meredith followed Derek into the corridor where she stopped to look around nervously and quickly.

"This will be great..." Derek told her with a smile. "Working together and all…doing doctor stuff…me getting to look at you in your very, very sexy blue scrubs…" his joking conversation was cut off abruptly with Meredith's now stern voice.

"Would you just…" she looked around the room quickly to ensure that no one had heard that comment, "…is that why I am on your service today?"

Derek shook his head.

"No…Meredith…" he sighed. "I actually wanted to see the rumoured cutting edge Grey daughter in action," he answered as he peered into her disapproving and nervous eyes that flared before him as a combination of emotions were exposed in that instant.

"Dr. Shepherd!" came a familiar voice.

Both Meredith and Derek froze for a split second as a dreaded feeling crossed through their stomachs; needless to say, that voice was familiar to the both of them and in the next breath, the both of them whirled around quickly to come face to face with Ellis walking their way.

"Oh…uh…Dr. Grey…" Derek said quickly. "I was just, uh…taking Meredith to OR2…I have a hemispherectomy at eleven and I am going to take her on my services…"

Ellis nodded.

"Dr. Shepherd…is there any chance that you could spare a couple of moments for a consult…there is a guy in the pit with what we suspected to be priapism brought on by the overuse of ED's but I assume it's something bigger than that…perhaps something neuro…" she said.

Derek nodded.

"Dr. Grey, do you think you can go up to room 4218 and prep Hayden Chester for surgery, then meet me in OR2 at eleven o'clock…?" he asked Meredith.

Meredith nodded and watched Derek walk away with her mother back through the very tall walls of the hospital.

--

"Okay…Dr. Grey, we are looking at beginning the hemispherectomy at the parietal area…can you stand here please?" Derek asked.

Meredith was, however, in a somewhat day dream about Derek as she watched his perfect lips form perfect words.

"Dr. Grey!"

Meredith snapped out of her daydream for a brief moment and stopped to look at him while trying to fight the bad, porny images.

"Stand here please…" he ordered.

Meredith nodded and quickly made her way around to the other side of the table where she was close enough to smell him.

_Oh…what was that scent…?_

_Calvin Klein…_

She remembered it as though it was yesterday; the eight years that had seemingly passed like an eternity…

_Eternity!_

That was the scent that she remembered.

But Meredith knew somewhere deep down if she wasn't careful, this thing or whatever it was…would certainly turn into an _obsession_…

"Hand me the clamp, Dr. Grey," Derek said.

As Meredith handed him the clamp, she felt his large and soft fingertips graze over hers and in a flustered and nervous movement, Meredith dropped the clamp to the ground where it landed with a loud and clattering thud.

"I'm sorry…" she apologised.

"What was that Dr. Grey?" Derek asked.

_You!_ Meredith wanted to scream.

"It was nothing…" she replied.

Somewhere deep down, however, she knew that it was not just _nothing_; it was most definitely and completely _something_.

**Ahh, so what did you think?**

**Let me know and please...**

**REVIEW!!**


	11. She's No You

**I am so thankful for the reviews everyone, so please keep them coming!**

* * *

Meredith walked out of the OR feeling more nervous than she ever had before; what had happened in there was crazy and incredibly embarrassing and yet, somehow, she knew he'd been feeling the same sort of anxiety as she.

"Meredith!"

Meredith whirled around on her feet to come face to face with her mother.

"Mom…"

"What happened in there?" Ellis asked.

Meredith wasn't exactly sure just how to react; she certainly couldn't turn around and tell her stern looking mother that Derek's _Calvin Klein_ had sent her senses into a long and winding trance filled with porny thoughts and naked bodies, not necessarily in that order as well.

"I was just…uh…"

Ellis shook her head.

"No more excuses Meredith," she said sternly. "I would like it if you went and found an on call room to sleep off this somewhat daydream or whatever it is that is distracting you!"

As she whirled around on her feet in her surgeon shoes, Ellis Grey walked down the corridor, still shaking her head.

* * *

The on call room almost echoed as Meredith walked in as she found that the lack of illumination made it difficult for her to see where she was going. She found herself stumbling around and tripping on what appeared to be loose items of clothing.

A loud and startling grunt sounded from the dark room as Meredith stumbled right into, and bumped, the steel posed bunk bed.

"Oh…I'm...I'm sorry…" Meredith said softly.

"It's alright…I wasn't quite asleep yet, anyway…" a familiar voice replied.

Meredith stopped for a second and drew in a quick breath as she wondered to herself if it was possible.

"Derek?"

The voice gasped.

"Meredith?"

"Yeah…"

Meredith fumbled for the light switch quickly and turned it on as the flooding light revealed a rather sleepy Derek sitting up rubbing his eyes.

"I'm sorry…I'll, uh…I'll go…" Meredith said.

"N-no…Meredith…" Derek jumped up as quickly as he could, worrying that he had freaked her out slightly. As his feet hit the ground with a small thud, the covers fell to the floor, revealing his lightly toned upper torso that was naked from his waistband upwards.

Meredith couldn't help but let her shaky gaze fixate on his body and stare intently; he was just as sexy as he had been eight years ago; and yet, somewhere along the line, age had formed new curves and aspects of his body.

"You don't have to go…" Derek told her.

Meredith shook her head.

"What happened in that surgery Mer…?" Derek asked as she took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed. She loved the way he called her "Mer", it sounded so familiar and so loving when he said it.

Derek stood and stared at her for a second; he noticed how her dirty blonde curls were neatly pinned back, yet the resistance of her fringe fell upon her forehead where it flicked in her eyes.

But then something else stunned him briefly, a scent flying into the core of his nostrils that he remembered so clearly about her. It was a pretty, flowery scent that was so familiar to him – as though he knew it from somewhere.

"What is that smell…?" his thoughts vocalised for a second. "It's like a…a flower…"

"Lavender…" she answered.

Yeah…that was definitely it; a florally lavender scent; the true Meredith scent.

"Lavender…" he sighed.

His attention, yet again, diverted to his questioning thoughts.

"Meredith…" he asked again. "What happened in there…in that OR?"

Meredith sighed heavily and rested her head in her hands.

"I was distracted…"

"I can see that Meredith…"

"Don't be an ass…"

"Meredith…you're a surgeon…"

"Duh…"

"You can't afford to get distracted…"

"I know."

"So what were you distracted by?"

Meredith pondered on his response for a few more moments up until which time that she knew she had to spill.

"I was distracted by…"

Derek sighed.

"What…?"

In an instant, his question was interrupted by her lips that came crashing into his in a passionate kiss.

"I was distracted by you…"

Derek pulled back for a second and breathed loudly and heavily.

"By me…?" Derek whispered.

Meredith nodded and rested her hands on his muscular chest; her bare skin was slowly reacting to the heat that was seeping through the dermis under her fingertips as she grazed them over the sparse hairs on his torso.

"Yes…"

"Meredith…"

"What?"

"I know what it is like to be distracted…"

"You do?"

Derek moved his large hands to her legs where his palms rested over the crinkled fabric of her blue scrub pants.

"Meredith…from the moment I laid eyes on you in the bar that night…I was distracted from my pool shot…"

Meredith's eyes widened.

"And then, when you left New York, I filled my life with distractions…"

"How?"

"By drinking…Addison, even…"

"And…?"

Derek sighed and rubbed her thighs through her pants.

"And there are just so many things…so many ways in which you can simply distract yourself or compensate for what is missing…until…"

"Until what…?"

"Until you realise that no matter how hard you try…no matter how many meaningless one night stands you have and useless bottles of scotch you go through, you can never distract yourself from the obvious paths or compensate for the incomplete moments of your life…"

He leaned down forward and let his soft lips graze over hers for a brief moment when he became completely lost.

"She was never you…" he whispered as he pulled back.

Meredith couldn't believe what he'd just said; for it was somehow more meaningful and more amazing than she'd ever known.

As he kissed her once more, their lips locked together softly and soon found a deep and quick momentum where their passions grew and flourished in the instant they melded together.

Meredith drew in a deep and nervous breath as she allowed his hands to reach under her scrub shirt and grab at her breasts gently. She was thankful for the moment that morning where she'd decided to wear her black lycra underwear set as opposed to the rather worn out and mismatched set she had been contemplating.

Her hands, too, explored the familiar places of his body as she somehow attempted to reacquaint herself with the longing and anticipated feeling that she could have only imagined this moment to be.

"Derek…"

"What…?" his voice was muffled from the long trail of sweet kisses he was now planting down her neck.

"Derek…I'm not sure…I don't know if I want to…"

Derek pulled back for a second and stopped kissing her.

"What…why?"

"It's not right…"

Derek groaned and pulled away.

"I know…" he sighed.

And in a second, as Meredith stood up, the doorknob of the on-call room squealed as it turned.

Meredith gasped as it creaked open.

"Dr. Shepherd, I need a…"

The door opened to reveal Bailey whose eyes widened for a second as she realised what she'd walked into.

"Consult." she finished.

"Sure…no worries Dr. Bailey, um…thank you for assisting me today Dr. Grey…" Derek stammered.

"Thank you for the opportunity Dr. Shepherd…" Meredith replied nervously as she eyed Bailey. "Sorry to wake you…"

Derek stepped passed a rather angry Dr. Bailey as Meredith remained in the same spot; standing still and trying her best not to make any sudden moves in the presence of the very furious woman.

"You might want to fix your hair before you attend to my patient in 3218 who needs a rectal exam…" Bailey said threateningly.

Meredith shakily raised her hands to her hair where she tidied it and made a mad dash for the exit; another minute alone with Bailey could well induce hell on earth.

* * *

"Derek!" Addison called as she walked through the oak doors of their apartment and set down her handbag.

Derek appeared at the kitchen doorway.

"Where were you?" he asked angrily.

"I went to Joe's with Mark," Addison answered.

Derek was absolutely livid; every emotion crossed in his mind as he imagined his best friend and his wife sucking back alcohol and making out in some seedy, underground bar.

Nothing, however, that was probably a whole lot different to what he was, in fact, doing with Meredith only a while ago.

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

"Derek…I thought you were at the hospital tonight, so I was simply catching up with our friend…you know, a familiar face in a town full of strangers!" Addison replied.

"I came home early, Addison, so that I could make us a nice dinner and so that we could then enjoy it together!" Derek cried angrily. "And now the meal is cold; so, you can heat it up and eat it alone!"

Addison frowned.

"Why can't you just come and sit at the table with me…at least," she sighed.

Derek shook his head.

"No, I'm going out…" he said.

He needed something to distract him from the startling images that were wrecking his mind; but reviewing the idea, he realised that where he was going was a whole lot more than a mere distraction.

* * *

Meredith hated being alone in the house now that the comfort of Izzie and George being there had settled with her. And as she prepared for bed that night, she was jolted by a noise at the front door.

Wondering who on earth could be at her front door at 10:45 that night; she walked over to it and gasped.

Opening it, she tried to find the words.

"What…what are you doing here?" she asked.

But that was a stupid and insulting question because she knew exactly what he was doing there.

In a split second, he grabbed her firmly around the waist and kissed her in a moment of impulse. Meredith let her lips and her tongue taste the red wine that was still evident in his mouth.

They stumbled awkwardly upstairs where Meredith pushed open her bedroom door with her foot and closed it the very same way.

They crashed down onto her queen sized bed where she peeled off his shirt and ran her hands over his bare chest once more; her skin shivered with the prickle of his stubble as his mouth kissed her neck slowly and sensually, letting goosebumps erupt over her body.

"Is…anyone…home…?" he murmured through kisses.

Meredith shook her head and began to undo his belt buckle while he ripped off her sweat pants and gently grazed her panties with his fingertips, coaxing her hips into a bucking position.

"God…" he groaned in her ear. "I need you so much…"

Meredith nodded and allowed him to strip her down until she lied naked before him where he proceeded to kiss every inch of her bare skin.

As he positioned himself over her, Meredith felt her breathing grow heavy and nervous as she felt his length enter her slowly.

In and out, thrust in thrust, Meredith felt more connected to him than ever and as they gave into their desires, they felt better than ever.

* * *

Derek awoke the next morning to a frantic voice.

"Derek!"

"Mmm…" Derek rolled over and let his arms hit the empty sheets. Sitting up in the bed he noticed Meredith pacing in her robe. "What…?"

"Derek…oh my god…" Meredith cried. "You need to go home because well…you have a wife…and oh god…I have roommates…nosy roommates who I work with…"

Derek realised that this was all true and this caused him to bounce out of bed and begin gathering clothes amongst his nakedness.

Without warning, however, Meredith and Derek were about to be shocked yet again, as if they hadn't been already.

"Meredith…I brought you up some coffee…" Izzie entered the room via the unlocked door. "…Oh my god!" she screeched.

Yeah, busted was _definitely_ the word.

**

* * *

**

Well, we all knew that it was only a matter of time before they were busted - but twice? You would think they'd learn - let's face it though, they're Meredith and Derek - they both make mistakes OVER and OVER again!

**REVIEW!**

**Amy.**


	12. The Trouble With Love Is

**Apologies for the delay; enjoy the update!!**

"I…uh…I…I mean…I…." Meredith's voice trembled and wavered as she tried to cover her tracks, while Izzie's usually kind brown eyes flared with the anticipation of her response.

"I've gotta go!" Derek snatched up his deep red sweater and whatever was left of his belongings before flashing a horrified gaze at Meredith and making a mad dash for the exit, weaving his way past Izzie.

As Meredith turned back tentatively to look at Izzie, she wasn't able to find the straight answers that her friend so desperately sought in that moment. And then, to add to the drama of the already hectic moment, George emerged through the bedroom door looking rather stunned.

"Did I just see…?"

"McDreamy," Izzie answered flatly.

"But did he…?"

"Yeah."

"With…?"

"Meredith…"

"But he…"

"Has a wife…"

"HEY!" Meredith interjected in what was becoming a rather disturbing conversation between her two roommates. "Can you please stop talking about me as though I'm not here!"

Izzie turned back to Meredith with a steely and cold stare as she folded her long arms across her black night shirt.

She wasn't about to excuse her for what she did; there were so many things that she wanted to say.

"Okay…Meredith," Izzie said. "What's going on?"

"Um…" Meredith shuffled nervously.

"Is that all you can say?" Izzie cried.

Meredith sighed heavily.

"Do I need to remind you Meredith, that Derek is, in fact, married? You know, he comes with the little binding ring on his finger…the She-Shepherd…the whole Mr and Mrs…?" Izzie exclaimed.

"I know Izzie!" Meredith shot back. "I know that! But it's just so…and I mean… and…uh…"

"Meredith, you know what I am like…I believe in true love, the whole Romeo and Juliet, star-crossed lovers, fate and destiny…Serendipity…but I also believe in God, so there is no way that I can condone adultery!" Izzie told her.

"Don't throw faith at me, Izzie!" Meredith said with the guiltiest expression on her face.

George shook his head resentfully and reached over with his left hand to rest it gently on Meredith's shoulder.

"Faith might be one thing Mer…" he said with a heavy sigh. "But morals are another…and that is something that _I_ know _you_ believe in…and I just don't want to see you sacrifice your high standards for a cheap one night stand…"

Meredith shook her head.

"It's not cheap…" she told him.

Izzie tried not to choke on her thoughts.

"It just…it just happened…" she sighed.

"Clearly…because there isn't much thought in committing adultery…" Izzie snapped.

"Enough with the adultery, Izzie!" Meredith cried.

"Not to mention that he is our boss…" George chimed in.

Meredith whirled around.

"I'm sorry?"

"He is our boss…"

"Yeah, I heard you say that the first time…I just don't like what you are implying…" Meredith said.

"I wouldn't…"

"You just did…"

"Oh come on…Mer…it's me," George cried. "I don't ever judge anyone, but well…other people…if they found out…well…"

"They're not going to find out!" Meredith insisted.

Izzie scoffed.

_I mean, hello…it was Seattle Grace – the only thing that spreads faster than disease in that place, is gossip_.

"No one is going to find out!" Meredith repeated as she stared at her two wide eyed friends. "You can't tell anyone!"

"Oh please…Mer, we may be nosy and judgemental, but we are _not_ squealing little assholes!" Izzie cried.

"I don't do secrecy," George told them.

"Do it for me, George!" Meredith pleaded.

Now, how on earth could he say no to that?

_George O'Malley never said no to Meredith Grey._

--

"Okay, people, assignments…" Bailey said as Meredith, Izzie, George and Cristina walked over to the nurses' station.

Meredith felt sick to look at Bailey.

"Stevens, you're with Addison Montgomery-Shepherd today, she needs help on a neonatal case; O'Malley, I want you with Derek Shepherd, he's got a tumour case that will be good for you…and Yang, we have a new intern, I want him shadowing you in the pit…show him how I do things…" Bailey said.

The three interns that were assigned scattered to all different areas of the hospital, leaving Meredith standing nervously before a very annoyed and irritable Bailey.

"Um…" Meredith didn't dare ask for an assignment.

"You are on SCUT!" Bailey told her. "You will _not _scrub in on any surgery or be anywhere near an OR until I say so!" she watched Meredith's face drop in disappointment. "No, you don't get to pull that face, Grey because what you are doing at the moment – I don't know if you're damn stupid or just don't care…but I am going to tell you that you are in _way_ over your head!"

"I…uh…"

"SCUT!"

"Okay…"

Meredith ran quickly from Dr. Bailey, not daring to turn around and object to the appointed assignment.

--

Derek walked into the attending's lounge later that day where he came face to face with Addison for the first time all morning.

"Addison…"

"You didn't come back home last night…" Addison told Derek with the slightest hint of resentment in her normally sweet voice.

"I got called into a surgery…" Derek lied.

"Oh…okay…but straight away? I mean…when you left…you left really angry…did you go to Joe's or something?" Addison asked.

Derek nodded.

"Yeah…" he answered.

Another lie.

A tangled web of lies.

Derek Shepherd wasn't a liar; in fact, he was _so_ bad at it, that when he stole a lollipop at the age of eight, he ran back to the store and immediately turned himself in. He cursed the day that his mother brought him up an honest man.

Lying was certainly, most definitely not Derek Shepherd.

--

Nor was George O'Malley, so when Bailey assigned him to Derek's service, he felt that the certain apocalypse was nearing and that his whole bright and shiny world was collapsing around him.

"D—Dr. Shepherd…" he stammered.

"Dr. O'Malley,"

"I…uh…you…I'm on your service…"

"Great, so, what do you know?"

"I…uh...nothing…I know absolutely nothing…I am uh… I'm just an empty book…a clean slate…what do I know about what?" George stumbled as he wondered just what Derek meant.

"About the patient, Dr. O'Malley!"

"Oh…oh, um…Richard Carlson in room 3217, age forty-eight, he is in for a removal of a tumour on his frontal temporal lobe…" George answered.

Derek nodded and handed him the chart.

"Prep him!"

--

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd!"

Addison whirled around to see Izzie making a quick stride over to the very irritated red head.

"I'm on your service,"

"Clearly," Addison answered flatly.

"I…uh…" Izzie, like Derek and George, was not a great liar, nor secret keeper when it came down to it.

"Stevens…have you, by any chance seen my husband today?" Addison asked Izzie.

Izzie gasped.

_Did she know?_

"N-no…not today…I mean…no, not recently…"

"How about Dr. Grey?"

Izzie nearly choked.

"Who…Meredith?" she asked in the next breath. "Oh…oh no, well not _with_ Dr. Shepherd – I mean…yeah, I live with her and all…but yeah, no I mean, no, I haven't…"

"Stevens!"

"Yeah?"

"_Ellis_ Grey!"

"Oh…you meant Meredith's mom _Dr. Grey_, not _Meredith_ herself _Dr. Grey_…yeah I saw her earlier…why?" Izzie breathed a sigh of relief.

"I need a consult…can you page her?" Addison asked.

Izzie nodded.

"Yeah,"

--

Meredith sat down in the cafeteria with a hard thud, letting the stack of charts finally leave her hands as she set them down on the table. Just as she took a sip of her fresh coffee, Cristina walked over.

"Okay, the new intern…Karev, he is an asshole!" she flopped lazily onto the awaiting chair. "As in a total and complete, disease ridden, rodent infested vermin asshole!"

Meredith groaned.

"Your day couldn't suck more than mine…"

Cristina shook her head.

"Deal me in, I'll play…" she said.

"I did something really, really bad…" Meredith sighed.

"How unusual for you…"

"I had sex with McDreamy."

Cristina's eyes widened.

"Are you calling my bluff?" she asked.

"No," Meredith replied.

"Then I fold…"

**I felt bad that Cristina was the last to know, but I look forward to writing her reaction.**

**Let me know what you think and...**

**REVIEW!!**


	13. The Little Things

**Okay, I sincerely apologise for the delay in the update!! Internet is a pain in the !!**

**Secondly, I hope you enjoy the update, I really had a lot of fun writing it!**

Meredith stared back at her very shocked and stunned friend and waited for some sort of a reaction that Cristina would normally elicit in this situation. Something that she imagined would be bolder than the reaction she'd just received.

"Cristina…"

Cristina, for once in her life, didn't have the capacity to answer; which for her, was completely out of character and unlike her in so many ways; she searched the deepest corners of her brain but couldn't find a remark, nor a snarly comment to react to her friend's news.

"Cristina…"

"Yeah…I heard you…I just…" Cristina began to stumble on every word that escaped her mouth; another trait that was so uncharacteristically Cristina, and something she didn't like. In the next breath, however, she slammed her hands down onto the table. "What the hell?"

_Yeah, Cristina was back._

"He is married!"

"I know…"

"So, why?"

Meredith rested her face in the palms of her hands and exhaled heavily as she searched for an answer to the imposing question that Cristina had just asked her.

"I swear, living with Barbie and Bambi has made you so soft…not to mention that this whole long lost summer romance thing has made you completely delusional!" Cristina exclaimed.

_It was so incredibly true._

_But this was so much more than a summer romance._

Meredith shook her head repeatedly.

"It's not that…"

"Well, what is it?"

"I just…I mean…"

"What, Meredith?"

Meredith's big green eyes filled with tears as she tried her very best to conceal her emotions.

"I…"

"Mer…"

"I'm in love with him…"

Cristina's eyes widened fast and hard as she adjusted to what Meredith had just said; she didn't believe in love…

As far as she was aware, Meredith didn't either.

But then Cristina looked at Meredith intently and in a second, she wasn't sure if this was Meredith Grey.

--

Meredith didn't like her birthday; over the years she grew out of expecting much of a celebration because her mother never made a really huge deal about it. And then she came to the point where she simply didn't care herself.

Nevertheless, Meredith was completely and utterly shocked when she was sharply awoken by Izzie as she busted through Meredith's door early that morning.

"Ugh…Iz…please…" Meredith groaned and shielded her eyes from the flooding light of the rare sun that occurred in Seattle.

The door flung open and hit the opposing wall with a heavy thud and bang as Izzie pushed it hard.

"Happy birthday!" she exclaimed excitedly as she ran over to Meredith's queen sized bed and flopped down on the thick down of the covers. She was way too happy in the mornings.

Meredith groaned again as Izzie took it upon herself to pull back the covers on the empty side of the bed and climbed under.

"It's just another day Iz…"

"No!" Izzie cried; she was completely shocked by the statement. "It's your birthday Mer! It's a special day!"

"It's not a big deal…"

"Yes it is!"

"I'm really not in the mood…"

Izzie frowned.

"Meredith…" she propped herself up on her side with a pillow and stared at her friend who looked strangely depressed. "It's not like you're eighty years old…a birthday _is_ an exciting day! _Especially_ at our age…we're in the total prime of our life!"

"Yeah…twenty seven…" Meredith said with a sarcastic tone to her usually bright voice. "Whoo, freaking, hoo!"

The sound of a party blower being played in an attempted rhythm erupted through the halls of the upstairs area of their house. It was noisy and completely out of tune and as she frowned at it, Meredith wondered who on earth could be making such a racket this early in the morning.

Before she could react again, George emerged at the bedroom door with a bright red party hat sitting on his messy bed hair and a goofy and seemingly happy expression plastered across his face.

"Happy birthday!" he yelled excitedly.

Clearly the party blower had deafened him.

Meredith mustered a laugh.

"You look ridiculous," she told him.

"Meredith…why aren't you excited?" George asked with a frown; Meredith's reaction to his birthday surprise fell slightly short of the mark and he couldn't help but wonder why.

"Because I am not a birthday person, George…" Meredith answered him ever so flatly.

"How can you not be?" George cried.

"Yeah…you can eat cake all day…" Izzie added.

"Not to mention presents!" George chimed in; clearly presents were his favourite part of a birthday.

Meredith shrugged.

"Well, I don't eat cake…and I've never really gotten any presents," she told them.

Both George and Izzie were about to object to Meredith's noted cynicism when Cristina walked in.

"You're gonna be late!" she said.

"It's her birthday!" Izzie cried.

"I didn't wake up yesterday Barbie…" Cristina turned around to look at George with a disapproving frown. "But here's hoping that you'll wake up eventually Bambi and realise just how old you really are…" she pulled at the elastic of the infamous red party hat and released it with a snap as it flicked back under his reasonably chubby chin.

SNAP!

--

Meredith was still on SCUT when she arrived at the hospital that day; clearly Bailey didn't have the same type of reasoning that ordinary humans possessed. The fact that it was her birthday, made this assignment rather irritating.

"Meredith!"

Meredith whirled around on her feet and groaned.

Her day could may or may not get a whole lot worse…

"Mom…"

"Happy birthday,"

_Whoa…that was different._

Meredith frowned, living with Richard had certainly made her mother softer than the usually hardened woman she was used to. This fact alone made her mother almost bearable.

"Thanks mom…"

"You're on SCUT again?"

Meredith nodded.

"Maybe I'll speak to Miranda…"

"Oh…n-no, it's okay mom…" Meredith assured her mother quickly. She was absolutely and completely certain that Bailey would blow her cover should her mother ask any questions.

Ellis nodded and began to walk away.

"Oh…Meredith…"

"Yeah, mom?"

"Richard is working late tonight, he has back to back surgeries…so I mean, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner or something for your birthday…" Ellis said in an uncharacteristically nervous manner.

_Okay, who are you and what have you done with the REAL Ellis Grey?_ Meredith thought to herself.

"Oh…well, yeah, that would be nice, mom."

Ellis nodded; satisfied with the answer.

"Okay," she said quickly. "Well, you have to meet me in the foyer at seven, okay? You can't be late because places like this don't appreciate lateness…so make sure you're there."

She turned and walked away from Meredith, leaving her daughter behind, looking rather bemused and stunned.

--

"Okay!" Meredith raced over to the table where Cristina sat as she casually flicked through a medical journal. "I'm in a crisis!" she threw her hands down on the table hard when Cristina didn't answer. "My mother is taking me out to dinner tonight!"

Cristina shrugged.

"So?"

"So!?" Meredith cried as her friend continued reading and virtually ignored her melodramatic display. "You do remember my mother, don't you? Ellis Grey…the very scary dragon lady who makes our surgical lives a living hell?"

Cristina scoffed.

"Are you scared of your mom?'

"What kind of question is that? Of course I am!"

"Okay…so you're going to dinner with your mother…big deal…it's not like she can stab you with a fork or anything…" Cristina said.

Meredith groaned.

"Seriously, this is even scarier than Bailey coming through the occupied on call room the other night!" she cried.

"Did I hear you say that you are going to dinner with your mom tonight?" came Izzie's voice. "But what about our big, all night, tequila drinking party that we had planned?"

"It's okay, it will be my out at dinner!" Meredith told Izzie sincerely. "I'll be there!"

"Okay…" Izzie answered.

--

"So…uh…this is…nice," Meredith said awkwardly.

Ellis nodded.

"I know…and I also know that it has been a while since we've actually celebrated your birthday…"

_It's the first time_…Meredith thought.

"So…tell me…" Ellis lifted her glass and took a long sip of chardonnay as she looked at her daughter. "What's new?"

"You…uh…you don't want to talk about work?" Meredith asked; this fact shocked her greatly.

Ellis shook her head.

"No…I want to talk about _you_…" she said with an attempt at a smile. "Are you seeing anyone?"

_Yes…but he is married._

Meredith shook her head.

"No…"

"Well, I'm sure that there are plenty of single men in the hospital," Ellis told her.

_Yes, this was definitely true Ellis Grey._

"I…uh…I'm really just trying to settle into the lifestyle at this stage mom…" Meredith said.

Ellis tipped the glass back to her mouth and sucked back the rest of the wine as she listened to what her daughter said.

A few wines had turned into a lot more, and had hit Ellis Grey a lot more also as the two women finished their dinner. Meredith, while, sipping her second glass of wine, was starting to see a new side to her mother that she'd never, ever known in her whole life.

_Yes, she was drunk._

"Mom…"

"But darling…certainly you could have opted for another career…" Ellis said giggling. "Like…a kindergarten teacher…or a lawyer…surgery is a pain in the ass, Meredith…"

"Mom…"

"You miss out on a social life…"

"Mom…"

"And then there are important things that you miss out on…" Ellis reached over to touch Meredith's face; something she'd never done before. "You miss out on watching your children grown up…"

"Mom…"

"You are such a beautiful girl…"

"Mom!" Meredith cried.

Ellis stopped for a moment and stared at her daughter.

"I've got to go back to the house mom, Izzie and George are having a party for me," Meredith said.

"A party? Well that's great honey! I'll come!" Ellis informed her as she gathered her belongings and snapped her finger for the bill.

_Ellis Grey…at a party?_

--

"Ellis Grey at our party?" Izzie whispered quickly to Meredith as she stepped aside so Meredith could walk in, while they watched Ellis stumble along the footpath onto the porch.

"She's uh…" Meredith sighed as she tried to find an excuse.

"Drunk?" George cried in a stage of disbelief. "Is your mother drunk?"

Meredith nodded as she watched Ellis walk through the doors and make her way into the kitchen.

"Dr. Yang!" she exclaimed.

"Oh…uh…hi, Dr. Grey…" Cristina said uneasily as she entered the lounge room while her eyes widened with shock. "Wow…is that a stench of chardonnay coming from your mom?"

"Apparently my tequila drinking is hereditary or something…" Meredith answered as she made an indicative gesture towards her mother.

Cristina started to laugh.

"Cristina!" Meredith cried.

"Meredith…darling, where is the key to the liquor cabinet?" Ellis called out from the kitchen.

"Oh my god…" Meredith groaned as she wandered into the kitchen.

--

"Thank you so much for taking her home," Meredith said to Richard as he wrapped an arm around a stumbling Ellis.

Richard smiled.

"My pleasure Mer," he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Happy birthday,"

Ellis smiled at Meredith.

"Happy birthday!" she gave Meredith a long and tight hug in a way that Meredith had never known; her mother didn't hug…nor was she ever kind.

"Bye mom!" Meredith called as she watched her drunken mother stumble into Richard's BMW X5; it was incredibly late and everyone was already in bed; including Cristina who had occupied their couch.

_Bed sounds so good right now_.

Until a knock sounded at the door.

Meredith turned around and let her green eyes widen in shock. She walked over to the door and opened it tentatively.

"Why wasn't I invited to your party…?"

"Derek…I…"

Meredith's words were cut short by his lips crashing into hers.

"Happy birthday Meredith…"

And for a moment...Meredith was simply speechless…

**You like?? Ellis, drunk...now wouldn't that be a sight!!**

**REVIEW!**


	14. Don't Mistake Me

**I apologise for the delay in the update!! Please enjoy!**

Meredith was now standing before Derek; her mouth hung in a gaping shock that revealed everything about what she was feeling in that moment. She had managed to forget about him for the brief time that she'd been enjoying her birthday; but she did, however, forget that Izzie had practically announced the celebrations to the entire surgical floor at lunch.

"Derek…"

Derek shook his head and ran his free hand down her cheek tenderly as it tickled her skin and brought goosebumps to the surface of her body's cover.

"Is that all you can say…?" he whispered.

_Oh…his voice…_

Meredith was once again captivated with those dreamy blue eyes that stared back at her and pleaded for a more coherent and sustainable response.

"I just…"

His lips, just like before came crashing into hers and gripped in a sensual motion as Meredith allowed her thoughts to consume her every move.

As Derek's hands travelled across her back and slipped for a brief moment under her shirt, Meredith pulled back and realised exactly what was happening.

"Derek…I just…"

"What?" Derek's words were breathless.

"Cristina is asleep on the couch…and Izzie is…a light sleeper…and…"

Derek let his voice tickle her ear as he leaned in slowly and gently.

"Let's go to my house…"

"Derek…what about…?"

"She's on call…"

"But she…"

"Will never know…"

"Derek…I…"

"Meredith, shut up and let's go!"

Meredith sighed and allowed his strong hands to pull her out the front door where she climbed into his car nervously.

Her heart raced at a rather rapid speed as they made their way into the newest part of Seattle, filled with fancy town houses and expensive cars.

They pulled into a side street where Derek drove his black BMW through an automatic cedar garage door and into a small garage. Meredith climbed out of the car and followed him through a door that led into a dark apartment.

As the lights flicked on Meredith gasped; the apartment looked as though it had been photographed for _Vogue_; the walls were all white and fabulous paintings hung from every viewpoint. The house's condition was immaculate and it looked as though no one ever lived there.

"Derek…it's beautiful…"

Derek, on the other hand, wasn't about to waste precious time.

He grabbed her hands and pulled her over to what appeared to be the bedroom, without turning on the lights; he began to pull her sweater over her head while she fiddled with the belt on his jeans.

"Since when…" she murmured through kisses. "…do you wear a belt?"

Derek chuckled and with one swift movement, he pulled it free from the loops.

"Smooth…" Meredith said softly.

As Meredith fell to the bed with him closely in tow, she looked over at the bright red LED lights on the alarm clock; it read 12:47a.m and with a second glance, she felt his lips come into hers; he was ready for more.

As soon as their clothes fell to the floor, Derek reached with his hands under Meredith's back and lifted her gently so that he could pull the covers back slightly and push them away.

Meredith drew in a deep breath as she realised that somewhere along the line, this was so wrong; so incredibly dishonest and deceitful; just as their movement peaked Meredith began to feel sick; no, actually, horrified was the word. She pulled back and looked at him, shaking her head over and over again.

"This is wrong!" she told him as she sat up and pushed him away for a moment.

"What?" Derek cried.

"It is _wrong_!" Meredith yelled.

"Mer…"

"No! This is just crazy!"

"It's not though…"

"You are married!"

"I just…"

"No! I won't do this…"

Meredith jumped up and began throwing on her clothes in an attempt to compose herself from her recent attack of conscience.

Derek, while still lying on the bed, confused in the lightest sense of the word, looked back at her and shook his head.

"I'm sorry…" he said.

"This is not about apologising Derek, this is about the fact that you have a wife…and she is really, really nice…and it's not fair!" Meredith cried.

At this point, she had radical tears flowing down her cheeks at an impossible rate as she realised that what she'd done was unforgiveable.

"I need you to take me home…" Meredith told him.

"Meredith…"

"No, Derek…_I _need _you_ to take me home!"

"Okay…"

The drive home was horribly quiet; the tension could be cut with a butter knife. The pitted feeling in Meredith's stomach was now becoming worse and she knew as soon as she arrived home she'd have to talk to Cristina.

As they pulled up at the colonial style house Meredith unbuckled her seatbelt and tried her best to avoid Derek's gaze.

"Meredith…"

"I'll just speak to you soon…"

And with that she ran from the car all the way along the driveway and to the porch where her feet hit in heavy thuds mimicking the sound of her heart.

As she fumbled for the doorknob she came face to face with her reflection in the tinted glass door. Her hair was a mess and her sweater was gaping to one side.

"Oh my god…" she muttered as she attempted to tidy herself.

Running through the door she raced over to the couch where Cristina slept heavily, a light snore escaped her lips.

"Cristina!" Meredith whispered.

No reply.

"Cristina!"

A frustrated grunt sounded, but with no apparent response, Meredith shoved Cristina in the back.

"Cristina!"

"What?"

Cristina jumped up and glared at the person who had awoken her so abruptly; but as her eyes adjusted to the sight before her, her glare softened into confusion.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"Now why do you always assume that I did something…?" Meredith asked.

"It saves time…now spill!" Cristina ordered.

"Well…when everyone went to bed…Derek came over…"

"Surprise, surprise…"

"And I went back to his house…actually it was his and Addison's…"

"You went to the McMansion?"

"More like the McApartment…"

"Yeah, I've heard it's like a _Vogue_ spread…"

"It is…"

"And…?"

"We started having sex and I stopped…"

"You had sex in his wife's bed?"

"That's why I stopped!"

Cristina looked back at her friend and nodded.

"It was so wrong…" Meredith sighed.

"I know…"

"I just…well…I think it's over…"

Cristina didn't reply.

"Can I sleep on the couch with you?" Meredith asked softly as she looked at her friend pleadingly.

Cristina nodded.

"As long as couch translates to your bed…"

Meredith managed a smile.

"Okay…"

--

As Derek pulled up at the apartment his heart back flipped twice when he saw the familiar Silver Mercedes parked in the driveway.

"Oh god…"

It was Addison's car; half an hour earlier, this situation could have been problematic; very and incredibly problematic.

Walking into the apartment, he put his keys down on the kitchen bench and came face to face with his wife.

"Hey honey," she said with a smile as she walked over and put her arms around him.

"Hey, I thought you were on call…?"

"There was a mix up…why were you out?"

"Oh…I uh…just had to get gas for the morning…"

"Oh okay…are you ready for bed?"

Derek smiled and followed his wife into the bedroom as the messy bed came into vision.

"Why is the bed so messy?"

"I had a sleep when I came home…"

Addison climbed under the covers and wrapped her arms around Derek as he followed her. She breathed in a heavy sigh and closed her eyes; until something tingled her nostrils.

"Derek…why does our bed smell like Chanel Coco Mademoiselle?"

**Okay, so busted may be the word. **

**I really wanted them to realise just how wrong their affair is; it means they, at least, have a conscience.**

**Never fear though!**

**REVIEW!**

**Amy.**


	15. Chasing Cars

**Hi all, well I just want to say that I have been disappointed with how the story fanned out over the past couple of updates; I know that Meredith and Derek are SO much better than this and this is why I have chose to end the affair. **

**We are ahead three months from the Chanel incident!!**

Meredith woke up sharply to the sound of dishes clattering downstairs in the kitchen; she rolled over to find the space next to her once again empty. This was becoming a regular occurrence since she'd ended the speculating affair with Derek.

As she threw on some clothes quickly and made her way downstairs, she came face to face with Izzie cooking what appeared to be bacon and eggs.

"Good morning!"

"Hey Iz," Meredith answered gloomily.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…I'm just not feeling that great today…"

"Here, have some breakfast, it will perk you up," Izzie told her as she pushed a plate across the counter top.

Meredith picked up a fork and poked around the plate before pushing it aside and taking a deep breath.

"Mer…you're not still bummed about McDreamy are you?" Izzie asked.

"She's still bummed?"

As those words filled the air, both girls turned to see George walk into the kitchen and pick up Meredith's plate.

"Slightly," Izzie answered.

"She's gotta get over it…" George muttered.

"I know it's what I try and tell her but…"

"She's bummed…"

"Yeah…"

"HEY!" Meredith cried. "I'm sitting right here,"

"We know…" George answered.

"Drowning in your own sorrows…" Izzie chimed in.

"I'm not!" Meredith protested.

Izzie raised her eyebrows and looked at George.

"Sure…"

"I'm fine!" Meredith cried.

"Meredith…it's been three months…" George said softly.

"_I don't care_!" Meredith shot back. "I'm moving on!"

Izzie shrugged.

"Fine, whatever…we're going to be late!"

--

Meredith sat down in front of her locker and put her head in her hands while everyone around her desperately threw on their scrubs.

"Hey…what's with you?" Alex asked her.

Meredith shrugged.

"Nothing…I've just got a migraine…"

"Evil Spawn, what did you do to her?"

Alex whirled around to see Cristina with her hands on her hips.

"Nothing!"

"Go away!"

"Kiss ass!"

"Rosemary's baby!"

Alex turned and walked away before Cristina gave him a light shove. She sat down next to Meredith.

"Okay, are you really okay? Or is this like the time where I bring out my lie detector?"

Meredith shook her head.

"I have a migraine that's all," she answered.

Cristina nodded.

"Are you in the dark place?" she asked.

Meredith shrugged.

"A little…"

"Okay…"

--

Meredith walked along the corridor as she followed Alex, George, Izzie and Cristina while they raced after Dr. Bailey. Her head was throbbing so badly she felt that it may just cave in within any given moment; and to make matters worse, she looked ahead to see her mother making a fast stride towards her.

"Great…" she muttered.

"Miranda!" Ellis said.

Bailey stopped and looked at Ellis.

"Can I take O'Malley and Stevens from you today?" she asked.

"You can have them all, Dr. Grey," Bailey answered snidely.

Ellis frowned at Meredith.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine, mom," Meredith replied.

"Get it together," Ellis told her.

Izzie and George walked away with Ellis as Cristina, Alex and Meredith followed Bailey across the overhead walkway where Meredith, once again, felt her heart sink.

"Dr. Bailey!"

Addison was approaching them.

"Something I can do for you Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?" Bailey asked.

"Can I take Grey and Karev?" Addison asked.

Meredith felt her heart jump to her throat; she didn't want a case at all today, let alone a case with Addison. She had been an intern on OB/GYN a few times since her and Derek had been over; but today, she felt as though something was completely wrong with the picture.

"My interns are awfully popular today," Bailey commented.

"Yes, they certainly are," Addison chuckled.

Cristina turned to Bailey hopefully as Meredith and Alex walked away with Addison; she wondered if somehow she'd scraped in on a cool surgery or something.

"Pit for you," Bailey said.

"Damn!" Cristina sighed as she walked away.

--

Meanwhile, Meredith and Alex followed Addison to the OB floor while Meredith pushed her index finger to her forehead and rubbed it gently.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alex whispered.

"Yeah!" Meredith said quickly.

"Everything okay Dr. Grey?" Addison asked as she heard the whispers.

Meredith looked up.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd!" she answered in a slight frazzle.

Addison nodded and walked into a room; sitting before them was a rather young looking girl with long blonde hair.

"Hi Georgia, these are my interns Dr. Karev and Dr. Grey," Addison said. She turned to Alex and Meredith. "This is Georgia Frost, she is fifteen years old in her first trimester of pregnancy with triplets,"

"Triplets?" Alex gasped.

"Fifteen?" Meredith whispered.

Addison glared at both of them while Georgia started laughing.

"It's okay, I've had those looks before," she said to Addison.

"It's not okay, Georgia…my interns are possibly the rudest physicians in the hospital at the moment," Addison said. "Now, I want you both monitoring the fetuses today, as there has been some bleeding…" she turned to Georgia. "Any pain?"

"No,"

"Okay, good…" Addison turned and walked out the room with Meredith and Alex closely in tow. "Okay, you two…no more condescending teenager looks…I've had enough…"

Their voices were cut short by shouts from the other end of the corridor.

"You what?"

It was Derek's voice, soon to be followed by the sound of a punch.

"Derek…"

It was Mark's voice that was cut short by the punch.

"You had sex with my wife?"

Addison's face dropped and Meredith felt sick.

"Derek!" Addison cried as she ran to the unfolding scene before the entire surgical floor. "Derek, stop!"

Derek had a hold of Mark's scrub shirt at the time that Addison said that and with one turn of the head, his eyes flared with anger towards his wife.

"Stop? Well maybe you should have thought of that before you had sex with my best friend!" he yelled before he began throwing punches once more.

"Derek!" Addison tried her best to grab Derek and as Meredith and Alex became aware of the apparent danger, they ran to pull Addison away. As Meredith became starkly close to her, Addison caught a heavy whiff of Chanel Coco Mademoiselle.

In a split instant, Addison jumped up and stared at Meredith, knowing exactly where that smell came from.

"Oh my god…"

Meredith took in a deep breath.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?"

"So Derek…" Addison turned to Derek who had been restrained by Alex and a handful of scrub nurses. "How is this any different to you sleeping with Meredith?"

Meredith froze.

"Oh god…" she began to hyperventilate as she took a dozen steps backwards.

"Oh my god…" Alex said as he looked at Meredith frantically.

"I can't do this…"

And with that, Meredith turned on her heels and ran for the locker room; her sneakers hit the ground in heavy thuds as she made a frantic pass for her keys.

"Meredith!" Izzie cried running into the locker room. "Oh my god…I just saw everything! Are you okay?"

"I can't be here!" Meredith cried as she grabbed her bag and pushed passed Izzie and ran for the exit.

As she jumped into her car, she burned out the hospital parking lot; by this time, her headache had returned at a full blow. As she sped through the winding back street of Seattle, her head began to throb and as she put one hand to her eye, her remaining vision blanked.

The next sound to be heard was a car horn blasting from her oncoming vision. Before Meredith had time to react appropriately, she swerved heavily and the wide, blue jeep flipped three times in the air, landing with a hard and heavy thud on the side of the road.

**I don't want to give away spoilers; but I hope you appreciate the Addek marriage breakdown!**

**Please review!**

**Amy.**


	16. Scratch

**Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate them!! **

**I do hope you enjoy this chapter...**

Cristina wandered into the pit which was surprisingly and strangely quiet, dare she admit it; but with all the commotion that had made it's way through Seattle Grace's rumour mill, she was thankful she didn't have to concentrate so hard.

"Dr. Yang!"

Cristina turned around to see Olivia running over to her.

"There's been a report of an incoming trauma; ETA says they're about two minutes away, massive crush force to the abdomen and head injuries!"

Cristina nodded.

"Okay, page uh…Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Bailey!" she told Olivia before running for the emergency entrance.

She watched the ambulance whirl around the corner at a high speed before it came to a slow stop and began to reverse; Cristina could see the paramedics fussing through the back door and she thought to herself, this could be her day for an awesome surgery!

But as they wheeled the gurney out, Cristina's eyes widened and her heart jumped to her throat as she recognised the bloodied face under the mass of gauze and neck brace; for a moment she felt that she had to pinch herself; surely it couldn't be…

"Meredith…" she gasped.

"Twenty seven year old female, pulled from a massive car accident around the corner; apparent abdominal injuries, crush to the left side and is not responsive to cranial tests!" Jill, the paramedic, told her.

Cristina couldn't move because her eyes were still fixated on the unresponsive body of her best friend that lied before her.

"Hey!" Jill cried.

"Yeah…I've uh…"

"What have we got Jill…?"

Cristina turned around to look at Bailey frantically who stopped and gasped at the sight before her.

"Oh my god…"

"What have we got?" Derek ran out and froze.

"It's…"

"It's Meredith…oh my god…!" Derek cried. "Yang, clear a trauma bay! STAT!"

Bailey and Derek wheeled the gurney into an empty trauma bay while Bailey threw orders around.

"Someone page Ellis Grey!"

Cristina went to follow them into the trauma bay but Bailey stopped her.

"No!" she said.

"What?" Cristina cried.

"You can't go in there!"

"Dr. Bailey…she's my best friend!"

"And you will be distracted, so there is no way I will let you in there! Please go and get Ellis Grey!"

"She's in surgery, Dr. Bailey!" Olivia said as she emerged at the doorway.

"Someone clear a CT, she needs to go straight there…" Bailey ordered. She turned to Derek. "We can assess cranial damage with the CT,"

Derek stood, frozen.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Bailey yelled. "You are the only neuro attending on shift today, now do your god damn job!"

Derek looked up at her and quickly shone a light across Meredith's eyes.

"She's not responding…"

"Is there pupil dilation?"

Bailey and Derek turned to see Ellis standing at the door, grasping the frame with her long, slender fingers; her face grew fearful as she made a quick pace over to the gurney.

"There is some dilation in her left pupil, but I think her abdominal damage is a higher cause for concern at this stage…" Derek told the women.

"Let's get her to CT then," Ellis said as she grabbed the bottom end of the gurney and guided it along, while Derek and Bailey pushed it.

As they arrived at CT, Alex, Izzie and George all ran over followed by a guilty looking Cristina.

"What happened?" Izzie cried; she had apparent tears in her eyes as she frantically looked at Bailey, Ellis and Derek.

"You all need to move so that we can get her into a CT!" Bailey told them.

"No!" George said firmly.

"Excuse me?" Bailey put her hands on her hips and turned to Ellis and Derek with a sigh. "Get her into that CT while I deal with contempt interns…"

She turned and faced the four desperate gazes that stared at her.

"None of you can be here because it looks like she will need a whole lot more than a CT, please find something else to do…I don't care what, just stay away for a while!" she told them.

"But what about…?" Izzie started.

"I will tell you when I know more, until then, _go away_!" Bailey said sternly.

As she entered the CT viewing room, the films were starting to show.

"Okay…" Ellis said.

"Here we go…" Bailey chimed in.

"What are we looking at…oh god…" Derek drew in a deep breath.

"Oh my ever loving…"

Ellis couldn't say a word.

"Okay, well there is no cranial damage…but her abdomen…that's another story…" Derek said. "Is that…?"

"A ruptured spleen…and crush to her left ovary and tube…" Bailey said.

"Her left kidney is shifted…" Ellis added.

"We need Addison…" Bailey told them. "This isn't good…"

--

Addison didn't take long to come to CT and gasped at the sight before her.

"What happened…?" she asked worriedly.

"She had a car accident…" Bailey said.

Addison looked at Derek.

"I wonder why…" Derek muttered.

"Excuse me?" Addison asked.

"Well she was under a lot of stress…" Derek said in the next breath.

"Karma is a bitch, Derek!" Addison shot back.

"Will you both, _shut up_!" Bailey yelled. She turned to Addison and let her eyes flare with rage. "Her left ovary is crushed…I am going in to repair the spleen rupture…"

"Yeah…I'll have to go in and remove the ovary…" Addison said as she stared at the films.

"Okay…let's not waste any time, and get her to pre-op!" Bailey said.

--

It was a long and gruelling surgery and after about seven hours, Meredith was placed into intensive care; she was still unresponsive and diagnosed as in a comatose state. As Derek wandered passed, he stopped for a moment and stared at her intently; looking around to make sure that no one else was watching, he walked in and sat down next to the bed as he opened her chart.

"Oh…" he sighed. "This isn't good Mer…"

He ran his fingers over the major points on the chart and stopped to stare at her blood pressure and heart rate.

"You're a good driver…something is wrong…"

But he couldn't think, just what exactly, was wrong.

"This isn't you…" he said again.

Alex, in that moment, wandered in.

"It's not good…" he told Derek.

"It's not good at all, Karev…" Derek answered. "But there is something that I am missing…"

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"She's a good driver…this isn't her…"

"She said she had a migraine…" Alex told him casually.

"What?" Derek looked at him.

"A migraine…"

"How long…?"

"All morning…but…"

"It was a vision blackout…!" Derek jumped up. "Oh thank god…"

Alex stared at him, letting his hazel eyes cross with confusion.

"Dr. Shepherd…"

"I've been sitting here….just going over it, and over it in my head…and now…oh, I'm so relieved…Alex, she can wake up from this!" Derek said.

Alex nodded and took the opportunity to walk out of the room.

Derek, on the other hand, turned back to look at the fragile woman lying in the bed before him.

"I know you can wake up…" he said softly as he sat back down on the chair and held her hand that was grazed severely and sutured all over. "Because you are so strong…and I know that you lost a lot of blood…but you are a fighter…"

His eyes filled with tears.

"Oh…oh god, Meredith, I don't know what I would do without you…I know what we did was wrong…and I know…I know you can never forgive me…"

He lowered his head on the bed and began to weep.

"But ever since I first met you…in New York, that night…at the bar…there was…I mean…there still is…"

But the words wouldn't form.

"There is something amazing about the way your eyes twinkle…how the moonlight captures every single glittering shimmer in them…" he sighed.

If only he could see those eyes once more.

"And all these scratches…they'll never take away your beauty…never will they stop me seeing just how amazingly stunning you really are…"

His hand grazed over her bruised face ever so gently.

"They're just scars that will heal…"

But scars were something that Derek knew all too well.

"And nothing will ever change you…nothing will ever stop me loving you…" he said softly. "Because it is all I know…all I know is how to love you…and it's all I've known since the day we met eight years ago…"

In the instant that he felt a presence behind him, his words were cut short.

"Dr. Shepherd…"

"Dr. Grey…"

"I heard about the affair you had with my daughter…"

"Um…"

"Derek Shepherd, I know a lot of things…adultery in particular…and sometimes…just sometimes…it works out…"

"I know…"

"But you need to understand, that if it doesn't…you can't go back…"

"That is a risk I am willing to take…"

"Good…because my daughter…she is worth fighting for…she is a fighter herself…and she didn't once give up on you…"

"I never gave up on her either…"

"Well…don't give up on her…"

"I won't…"

Ellis looked at him and wondered if it was true; and for a split second, she walked over to where her daughter was lying in bed. With a quick brush of her hand she pushed the blood stained fringe from her eyes and kissed her forehead.

"Pull it together, Meredith…I know you can…"

As Ellis walked out of the room Derek rested his head on the edge of the bed and noted the four staring faces from outside the intensive care unit.

"He loves her…doesn't he?" Izzie questioned Cristina.

Cristina shrugged.

"I don't believe in love…"

"I do…" Izzie said.

George gripped Izzie's hand.

"Can their love bring her back?" Izzie asked.

"I believe in medicine Izzie…" Cristina sighed.

"Yeah but…I just…well…" Izzie began to cry.

Alex wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back.

"Sometimes we need to believe in something else…" George told Cristina. "If all we do is believe in medicine…and the ACLS drugs…and defibrillators and anatomy…we've got nothing…"

"No!" Cristina said defiantly. "Medicine is all I _can_ believe in!"

"Yang!" Alex cried. "If it is…then you'll send yourself crazy…"

"God wouldn't do this to her…he wouldn't let her die…" Izzie said.

"I don't believe in God, Izzie…" Cristina sighed. "But, I hold faith in the small fact that it is a medical miracle she is alive right now…"

"But you love Meredith, just like all of us…" Alex told her.

"Of course I do…"

"Then, that is one more thing that you have on medicine…"

"And…" Izzie said. "I believe in love…"

George nodded.

"It's the strongest thing in the world…" he said.

**I think I have actually scared myself doing this to Meredith... I realise that I have nearly killed her, and I swear, it's really scaring me! **

**But just as Ellis said, Meredith is a fighter!!**

**REVIEW!!**


	17. Open Your Eyes

**Thank you everyone that is reviewing! I really appreciate it!**

**Please enjoy the update!**

Izzie paced the halls of the surgical floor, she was trying desperately to consume her mind with thoughts considered less negative. But she found it rather impossible, especially when she was walking straight towards the woman she blamed for the accident.

"Dr. Stevens!"

Izzie tried her best not to grab the woman and throw her over the balcony.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd…"

"Dr. Stevens, I have Meredith's post op results…"

"And…?" Izzie asked rudely.

Addison frowned and stared at Izzie intently; she didn't understand where the attitude was coming from, and quite frankly, she didn't care too much for it.

"And, I thought you would be happy to know that her surgery was successful…" she replied.

"She wouldn't have needed it in the first place…" Izzie muttered.

"Excuse me?" Addison said as she put her hands on her hips.

"She wouldn't have needed it if you didn't cause her to breakdown in front of the entire surgical floor!" Izzie said loudly.

"Dr. Stevens, you are so out of line right now!" Addison told her.

Izzie felt her whole body consume with rage.

"I don't care!" she yelled.

Thankfully, Alex and George were making their way to the surgical floor when they faced the unfolding situation before them.

"Uh-oh…" Alex said quickly.

"You caused her to get into that car and drive in a fit of hysteria!" Izzie shouted.

"This isn't good…" George added.

Alex and George both ran ahead to grab Izzie.

"Izzie!" George cried.

"Iz…hey…calm down…" Alex said.

Addison shook her head.

"Karev, can you make sure Bailey gets these…they're Meredith's post op results…get her to page me if she has any questions…" she told Alex.

Alex nodded.

"Please, take Dr. Stevens somewhere where she can calm down…" she also added on before walking away.

As Addison made her way down the hallway, she stopped at the ICU where she peeked in at Meredith's room. Just as he had been all day, Derek sat vigilant at Meredith's bedside. Addison leaned against the doorway and listened to what he was saying in a low voice.

"I don't know Mer…everyone is just waiting for you, I guess…" he sighed.

Addison shook her head; she'd never heard that tone before.

Derek gripped Meredith's hand and sniffled slightly.

"I am waiting for you too…" he whispered. "And I'll keep waiting…until you wake up…"

Addison knew that it was true; Derek never gave up on anyone…

"And I know that it will take you a while to get over what happened today…because you're you…" Derek said tearily. "But, I guess that's why I love you…"

Addison pulled back immediately and, just like Meredith had, took a dozen steps back.

She knew exactly what she had to do.

--

A few hours passed by, but Derek didn't lose hope in the thought she'd wake up; by the time he checked the clock, he noted it was already late at night.

"Derek..."

Derek turned around to see Addison walking towards him.

"How is she?" she asked.

"Well, her vitals are up…and her BP is stable…but she's still…"

"Not awake…"

"Yeah…"

Derek looked at Meredith and sighed heavily.

"Is there something you need, Addison?" he asked.

Addison nodded and handed him a small card.

"What is this?" Derek asked.

"It is the number for my lawyer…"

"Why?"

"I say that we don't postpone the inevitable and get it over with…"

Derek frowned.

"What, a divorce?" he asked.

Addison nodded.

"So we can get on with our lives…" she told him.

"What, so you can get on with your life with Mark?" Derek shot back.

"And you, with Meredith?" Addison's voice increased in volume.

"How dare you suggest that I am the one at fault!" Derek yelled.

"What…so I --" Addison's words were cut short by the wailing of the heart monitor.

"Oh my god! She's in VFIB!" Derek shouted. "Someone get a crash cart! Call a code!"

Addison pressed the code blue button and followed the nurses with a crash cart where she snatched up the paddles.

"Okay, charge to 200!" she ordered. "Clear!"

With a heavy shock, Derek looked at the monitor that was still wailing.

"Charge to 300! Clear!"

Derek watched as Addison shocked Meredith's heart with the paddles once more and watched as the once lifeless and frail looking body drew in a heavy gasp.

"Oh my god…!" Derek grabbed Meredith's hand. He looked at Addison. "Get Bailey and her interns and Ellis…she's awake!"

Addison nodded and raced for the door.

"Addison!" Derek called after her.

Addison turned around.

"Thank you…"

"Just doing my job…"

And then, another voice filled the air.

"Derek…"

Derek turned around to see Meredith opening her eyes.

"Oh…Mer…" he ran his hands over her face. "Oh…you're awake!"

"I think I bumped my head…" she whispered.

Derek nodded and gripped her hand.

"You gave us a scare…"

"What happened?" Meredith asked.

"You were in an accident…" Derek told her. "Don't you remember?"

"I just remember going blank…and oh…it's blank…" Meredith let a couple of tears slip down her cheeks. "And before all of that…I just…"

"Shh…it's okay…it's all okay now…" Derek said as he brushed away her tears. "I'm so sorry that it had to all come out at that time…"

"Oh god…Meredith!" Izzie ran into the ICU and threw her arms around Meredith. "Oh…we were so worried!"

Meredith looked at Izzie and smiled weakly; she glanced around the room at the three other relieved faces of Cristina, Alex and George, including a concerned look from Bailey and then another relieved look from…

Her mother?

"Mom…" Meredith said hoarsely.

"Are you okay?" Ellis asked.

Meredith nodded gently.

"Well, maybe we limit it to one person at a time…" Ellis suggested. "I would prefer if you rested…"

"Dr. Bailey…maybe you should…explain…" Derek said stammering.

Bailey nodded and turned to the four interns.

"Wait out there, I will come and get you when I'm finished…" she then turned to Meredith as they all cleared the room. "Okay…well…"

"I'll come back…" Derek said as he jumped up and made a quick dash for the door.

"What happened?" Meredith asked.

"You had a crush injury to the left of your abdomen…a ruptured spleen and a crushed ovary…your left kidney had also shifted…" Bailey explained as Meredith's light green eyes widened in shock.

"What…?" she managed to gasp out. She turned to Ellis fearfully. "Mom…"

"It's okay…" Ellis assured her as she sat down on the edge of the bed and held her daughter's hand.

"I was able to reposition your kidney…but your spleen…the rupture was too severe and I had to remove it…" Bailey said. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd had to remove your left ovary…"

"Addison…?" Meredith asked.

"Yes…and the surgery was successful…but she will come and talk to you more about that later…" Bailey told her. "I just want you to rest…"

"As do I," Ellis chimed in. "I don't want you to worry yourself about anything!"

"Can I see the others…?" Meredith asked. "They'll be okay if they're all in here…"

Bailey looked at Ellis.

"It's your call, Dr. Grey…" she said.

"Okay…" Ellis turned around to face the interns waiting at the door; she motioned for them to come in. "Not long…you need your sleep…I'll be back to check on you later…"

As Bailey and Ellis left the room, Cristina pulled a chair over and sat in front of the bed.

"Well Mer…you missed a good show…" Alex said.

Meredith frowned.

"Huh?" she asked.

"Izzie Stevens went all trailer trash on the prep school Addison Montgomery-Shepherd!" George laughed.

"Oh man…I would have killed to see that!" Cristina cried. "It was almost as good as McDreamy going McAss Kick on McSteamy!"

Meredith laughed.

"That good hey?" she said.

And for a moment, each person in that room believed in the medicine that gave them a love for the life they all nearly lost.

**I hope you are satisfied with that!**

**A bit of smooth sailing ahead with the pending divorce!!**

**They're on their way to a guilt free relationship!**

**REVIEW!!**

**Amy.**


	18. Take My Breath Away

**I promise you that this story will soon enough be MerDer; but as I respect that MerDer are both good people, they really need to overcome just a few more steps.**

It had been a month since Meredith's accident and after a long and gruelling process, she was finally able to return to work. As she walked down the stairs, her nostrils flared at the smell of fresh waffles and bacon and she ran straight into George at the bottom.

"Hey!" he said happily.

"Hey," Meredith answered.

"Are you ready to go back to the crazy house?"

Meredith started to laugh.

"Oh, trust me, I am!"

"But are you feeling okay?" George asked worriedly.

"I am fine…" Meredith walked into the kitchen with him and smiled at Izzie as she pushed a plate across the bench. "Wow, Iz…breakfast smells great!"

Izzie smiled back.

"Of course it does!" she answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Great!"

"Are you ready to go back?"

"God yeah, the past couple of weeks of watching ER and Oprah have killed me! I need to cut!"

George laughed.

"What's so funny?" Meredith asked.

"Um…I hate to burst your bubble…but there is no way Bailey will let you cut on the first day back…" he said.

"I am fine, there is no reason she shouldn't!" Meredith protested.

"Ping!" Izzie imitated poking an imaginary bubble.

--

"You're back!" Alex said as Meredith walked into the locker room not too much later.

"Sure am!" Meredith answered.

"Thank god…Yang has been driving me crazy!" Alex cried.

"Watch it, Spawn!" Cristina said as she whirled around from her locker and stared at Alex with a long, steely and rather scary gaze.

Growing rather intimidated, Alex lost focus in Cristina's eyes and walked away.

"Rounds people!"

The interns turned around to face Bailey as she stood in the doorway of the locker room with her arms folded.

"Okay, assignments…" Bailey said. "Yang, you're with Dr. Montgomery, Stevens you're with Ellis Grey, O'Malley, you're with me, Karev, Sloan and Grey, pit!"

Meredith's eyes widened.

"The pit?" she repeated.

"Yes…is there a problem?"

"Um…yes!" Meredith cried.

"Why is that?"

"Because, I've been on freaking, god damn bed rest for the past month and I am dying for a cut!" Meredith exclaimed.

"And you're also sloppy _because_ you've been away…now, you have patients waiting for you in the pit, so _go_!" Bailey said loudly.

The five interns immersed into their work and Meredith made her way down to the pit where she bumped into another person at a high speed.

"Oh…I'm so sorry!" Meredith cried.

"It's okay…no problem…"

That voice was strangely familiar.

She looked up.

"Derek…"

"Meredith…you're back?" Derek said as he stood up. "How are you?"

"I'm uh…great…busy…but, yeah, I'm great!" Meredith said in a fluster; even now, he still made her nervous.

"I tried to call you a few times…" Derek told her.

"Really?" Meredith tried to lie, but in hindsight was unsuccessful.

"I left messages with Izzie and George…"

"I didn't get them…"

"I tried your cell as well…"

"Oh…"

"I left messages on your voicemail…"

"Yeah…uh…my phone died…"

"Meredith!" came another voice.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Meredith turned around to see her mother walking over towards her, her lab coat swinging from side to side as she pulled off her lilac scrub cap.

"Mom…"

"I'll go…" Derek said before walking away.

"How are you feeling?" Ellis asked.

"Oh, I'm fine mom…" Meredith replied.

"Where are you today?"

"The pit…Bailey thinks I'll be sloppy…"

"I have to agree with Miranda on that one," Ellis told her.

Meredith groaned.

"Mom…I was hoping you'd back me up…" she sighed.

"Meredith…you've been away from work for a month now, I think you just need to ease back into it…" Ellis said as she put her hand on Meredith's arm gently and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "I know you want to cut…but it's just a precaution…"

Meredith sighed heavily.

"Okay…" she said in defeat.

--

Meredith's hands grew numb after three hours of suturing drunken morons that had decided to mix alcohol and Halloween pumpkin carving and as she wandered over to the desk to take a break, Addison walked into the pit.

"Dr. Grey…you're back?" she said.

Meredith looked up nervously.

"Yeah…I'm…uh…here, I'm back…" she replied.

"I wouldn't mind if you came up for an exam…I just want to run a fertility test and stuff as well…" Addison told her. "Can you spare some time later?"

Meredith shrugged.

"I guess…"

"Okay then…"

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd…?"

"It's just Montgomery…"

"Excuse me?"

"The divorce was finalised yesterday…"

"Um, Dr. Montgomery…thank you for following up these results…I really appreciate it." Meredith said quietly.

"Well…it is my job…but it's okay…I don't mind…" Addison said before she turned and walked out of the pit.

--

As Meredith made her way to a consult room where she was meeting Addison, she once again, came face to face with Derek.

"Crap…" she said quickly.

"Crap?"

"Oh…I…it's just…wow, you're everywhere…"

"Is that a bad thing?"

Meredith chuckled nervously and looked at him with a sigh knowing that he was just so unavoidable. His dreaminess was inevitable and she felt as though she could grab him by the scruff of the scrubs and drag him into the on call room. But with her momentary lapse in judgement, she focused on a more likely reality.

"So…I have a consult with Addison…" she told him.

"Oh, I thought that Cristina was on her service?" Derek questioned.

"No…n-no…_I_ have a consult with her." Meredith answered.

Derek frowned.

"Is everything okay?"

It was funny, because Meredith knew that somewhere under the angst filled emotions he was most definitely feeling, he really cared for her.

And there was nothing scarier than that.

"Oh yeah, it's just a follow up to see how everything is healing and she wants to do a fertility test…you know, seeing as though I lost the ovary…"

"Oh okay…so I take it that…"

"Yeah, I know about the divorce…"

"And…?"

"Derek…I just…"

"Meredith, do you want to go out to dinner tonight?"

Meredith's eyes widened fast and hard as she adjusted to the shocking reality of that question; sure she'd been on dates, but she didn't care about those meaningless outings nearly as much as this one.

"I just need time Derek…and right now, I am running late…" she said with her words forming frazzled and confused strings of sentences.

She almost ran for the consult and when she made it into the room, her breathlessness caught up with her and she came face to face with Cristina and Addison.

"Sorry I'm late…" she said as she drew in quick and sharp breaths.

"That's alright…we'll get this underway…" Addison said. "Dr. Yang, do you want to do the scan?"

Cristina nodded and followed an ultrasound camera over Meredith's stomach.

"Well, as you can see Meredith…the scars are healing nicely…but the real question is fertility…" Addison said as she pointed to the monitor. "Do you plan to have children?"

"I guess if I met the right person…" Meredith answered.

Cristina groaned.

"Meredith and I aren't really 'baby' people…that is Izzie's area of expertise…" she told Addison.

Addison nodded.

"Well, I'm just going to draw some blood…and we'll go from there, I guess…"

Meredith shrugged.

"Okay…"

--

Meredith and George were waiting at the lab while they were discussing their day as it unfolded.

"I'm so exhausted…" Meredith groaned as she rested her head on George's shoulder.

"Yeah, I know, it will take you a while to pick up the pace…" George said as he patted her head. "So I heard that McDreamy and the She-Shepherd have hit the McDivorce lane!"

"Mmm…" Meredith sighed. "And it's like, he just expects me to pick up where we left off!"

"I know…"

"And I can't…"

"You're too good of a person…"

"There's too much water under the…thing, or whatever…"

George laughed loudly.

"Can't you ever finish your sayings?" he asked.

And just as Meredith was about to find a smart remark to snap with, the guy at the lab station handed her the file.

"Fertility test for Grey,"

Meredith picked it up and opened it, letting her eyes widen for a moment.

"So…?" George asked.

But Meredith didn't reply; because somewhere, under her façade of "fine-ness" she didn't have an answer for this.

**I'll be honest, the reason I left you there is because I am not quite sure where I am going with the test results yet...**

**As always, REVIEW!!**

**Amy.**


	19. Fall At Your Feet

**I am soooo sorry about the delay; I have been hideously sick; I blame Kindergarten for a very nasty virus!! The beauty of being a teacher!**

**Please enjoy this chapter and please keep in mind the silver lining...the extra detail and the miracle concept!!**

George looked at Meredith's face with all attempts to decipher the expression. He thought to himself that it was certainly never an expression he'd seen before, nor was it something unfamiliar to Meredith; she wasn't uncommon to saddened looks of late days. But there was something very, very different about this look.

"So…?" George pressed; he felt as though he couldn't hold his tongue anymore and his anticipation was starting to get the better of him. "Well…what does it say…?"

Meredith remained silent despite the screaming questions posed to her.

"Meredith…?" George said again.

"Well…" Meredith slammed the file shut and threw it down onto the table at the lab station where she took a deep breath. "Its not like I would have ever made a good mother…" she sighed.

George's eyes widened as his heart sank for his rather depressed looking friend who tried to fight the tears streaming down her face. He reached over and picked up the lab file, flicking through it and running his finger down the page.

"Mer…it says nothing here about infertility!" he cried.

"George, look at the levels…" Meredith pointed at the lab. "With these kinds of levels, there is no way I could ever conceive…it would be a miracle!"

George sighed heavily and ran his hand over her shoulder.

"Miracles happen…" he told her.

"Really, George?" Meredith asked. "Because it isn't quite often that my life turns out that way…"

"Why don't you take the results back to Dr. Montgomery and just go from there?" George asked with all attempts to be a positive figure in the downward spiral of Meredith's life.

Meredith sighed and shrugged.

"Couldn't hurt…"

George smiled at her and put his arm around her; he was never really good with sympathy because he always felt pushed under the rug; but despite this, he was being a better friend to Meredith than she could have ever imagined.

They made their way to the OB floor where they came face to face with Addison. Taking in a deep breath and swallowing her pride as best as she could, Meredith stepped forward with two brave feet.

"Dr. Grey…" Addison said.

"Dr. Montgomery-She…I mean…Dr. Montgomery…I was wondering if you had a moment to discuss my test results?" Meredith asked.

Addison studied the very concerned look on Meredith's face as she softened her usually business like tone and managed a sympathetic smile.

"Of course, we can go into my office," she answered.

Meredith looked back at George.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Meredith nodded.

"I'll be fine…"

And with that, she disappeared around the corner of the floor where she and Addison retreated to Addison's very stylish, chic office. Addison sat down at her desk chair and Meredith sat opposite as she pushed her file across the hardwood of the desk.

"Okay…" Addison pushed her spectacles up the bridge of her nose and stared at the file intently. "Well…I see why you are concerned…"

"Look, I probably wouldn't have had kids…at least you can't screw them up if you don't have them…" Meredith sighed.

Addison looked up and frowned at her.

"Meredith…there is nothing here that states infertility…" she told her. "It simply shows levels consistent with difficulty in conception."

"But these levels certainly show how impossible it would be for me to ever fall pregnant!" Meredith cried.

Addison sighed heavily and looked at the distressed woman before her; while she was somehow thankful for the fact that Derek couldn't have a child with the woman she blamed for breaking up their marriage, she couldn't help but feel slightly sympathetic.

"Now, you are a doctor…so you know as well as I do that these levels do not mean _impossible_." She told Meredith.

Meredith nodded.

"Okay…"

--

It wasn't before too long that Meredith was sitting at lunch, prodding her food with a fork and trying desperately to take her mind off her dooming fate. A clatter of trays soon broke her concentration and she looked up to see Izzie's beaming face, along with Cristina and Alex.

"Hey Mer!" Izzie said brightly.

"Hey…" Meredith answered gloomily.

"Did you get your results?" Cristina asked.

Meredith shrugged.

"Results…?" Izzie asked looking between Cristina and Meredith with a confused gaze. "Results for what?"

"Cristina…" Meredith warned.

But it was too late.

"A fertility test…"

Izzie and Alex's eyes widened.

"Great to know you can keep a secret, Cristina…" Meredith groaned.

"Oh, come on…they would have found out anyway…"

"What, from your big mouth?"

"Not necessarily…"

"But I trusted you to keep your mouth shut…"

"Seriously…?"

"HEY!" Izzie cried as Alex whistled over the top of the noise. She turned to Meredith and pleaded for an answer. "Mer…what happened?"

"Well…the tests have basically declared me infertile…" Meredith answered.

Izzie gasped.

"What?"

"They have not!" came a firm interjection.

Meredith whirled around to see George throw his tray down at the table.

"George…" Meredith said.

Izzie looked up at George and pleaded for him to elaborate on his most recent outburst. George sighed heavily, knowing somehow he always got thrown in the firing line and it always seemed to be in front of every watchful eye.

"George…" Izzie said.

"The tests indicated levels consistent with trouble in conception – not infertility!" George told them. "It just means that she will always have difficulty in conceiving but it will not be impossible…"

"Okay, well we just need to make sure that you have a diet filled with healthy and hearty meals so that when the time comes, you will be at your fittest!" Izzie said to her.

Meredith shrugged.

"I guess it's no big deal…if you don't have kids, you can't screw them up…" she said.

Izzie gasped in horror and Alex and Cristina muffled their giggles.

"Anyway…I have patients waiting for me in the pit," Meredith got up and picked up her tray. "Just try your best not to talk too much about me while I'm gone…it sucks being out of the loop."

The four heads nodded and watched her walk away.

"Oh my god…that's so sad…" Izzie said quickly.

"Oh, shut it Barbie!" Cristina cried. "She's tough!"

"Even I agree with Iz on that one, Yang…" Alex sighed. "She's a ticking time bomb!"

"Well, keep the spark away…" George made indicative gestures towards Derek as he made his way over their table. "Hi, Dr. Shepherd…"

"Hey, have any of you seen Meredith?" he asked.

"No…" Izzie muttered.

"No…" George said.

"Uh-uh…" Cristina added.

"Pit…" Alex finished.

"Alex!" Izzie and George cried.

Alex shrugged.

"What? He works here…he's only gonna find her another way…this way, I am saving him twenty minutes!" he protested.

Derek nodded quick thanks and walked away while Izzie whacked Alex in the arm.

"You're an asshole!" she told him.

"Thanks!" Alex said proudly.

--

At dinner that night, Meredith was as quiet as she was at lunch. Izzie had baked an amazing roast dinner, accompanied by all of Meredith's favourite vegetables and her favourite dinner wine. But Meredith wasn't about to be cheered up.

"So…did McDreamy find you today?" Izzie asked.

Meredith nodded.

"Yep…"

"Did you talk to him?" George asked.

"Nope…"

"Oh…okay…" Izzie replied. "Was the pit busy?"

And without warning, the ticking time bomb exploded. Her cutlery hit the plate with a loud, clattering thud and a shrill, frustrated scream erupted from her thin lips that had remained pursed throughout the course of the meal.

"Could you all just quit trying to make me feel better?" she yelled. "I have just experienced the day from hell, and you all know it! I don't want to talk about it! I certainly don't want to hear you talking about it! And I just want to be _alone_!"

And with a smash, her plate hit the floor along with her _Converse_ sneakers as she ran up the stairs in quick thuds, fast enough to miss the face peeking his way through the door; overhearing the entire explosion.

Izzie and George came to a screeching halt when they faced the person in the doorway and realised that he better control the situation; he'd certainly do a better job than they.

His leather lace up shoes hit the hardwood floors as he made his way up the stairs to her bedroom. Leaning against the closed door, he heard the muffled and heartbreaking sounds of her cries; his red hot cheek pressed against the cedar door and he felt his heart beating through his chest.

He debated for a second as to whether or not he could go through the door, but he knew he had to. The rumour mill of Alex Karev had come through his ear later in the day.

His shaking hand gripped the doorknob and he made his way through the door where he came face to face with a heart wrenching image of her lying face down on the bed.

"Just go away…"

Her voice was barely a whisper amongst the sobs.

"Meredith…"

"I said, _go away_…"

He walked over and pulled her up off the bed, into his arms where he cradled her gently and rocked her back and forth.

"I can't…" he told her. "I can't go away…because…"

"Why?" she whispered.

"Because I love you…"

And for that moment…in that second, it was all she needed.

**We knew Derek would be back for her; remember the whole he'll always "show up"; well I needed this to happen so he could prove that to her. **

**And as everyone reminds her - it isn't impossible.**

**Be prepared for a new MerDer journey starting in our next chapter! **

**REVIEW!!**


	20. A New Day Has Come

**I know the delay has been a pain in the and I apologise.**

**Mer and Derek are due for some fluffy happiness, so here is a bit of fluffy enjoyment with a slight time advance!!**

The river flowed rapidly as the birds chirped brightly in the early hours of the morning; a rarity of a cloudless sky became an unexpected vision for Derek as he stepped out of the trailer and looked at the view of Seattle. His inner peace had surfaced momentarily as he remembered the beauty awaiting him back inside. Looking around the area he sucked in a deep and wistful breath as his senses were enlightened with the smell of pine trees and last night's fire that left a smoky and dusty after smell.

The mornings on the land were, indeed, a spectacle for his eyes. The prettiest wildlife floated around for a quick glimpse of those who took the time to look, and the flora existed in captivating beauty where it's wild being required no maintenance.

As Derek took another look around at the land, he felt small, yet strong, arms encircle him from behind and rub his torso gently. Her long fingertips grazed his light cotton blend shirt, tracing the print she knew was there and pressing her face into his back, letting the fabric suck back with her breathing.

"Mmm…good morning…" Derek said with a smile.

"Good morning…" Meredith answered.

"How did you sleep?"

"Great…how about you?"

"Aside from the chainsaw in the early hours of the morning…fine!"

Meredith shoved him in the back.

"We've hardly spent a night away from each other in the past month, and you're telling me that you can't handle my snoring?" she cried.

Derek turned around and lifted her up quickly, twirling her slightly.

"No…" he pressed his lips to hers briefly. "No, it's adorable…and charming…" he kissed her again. "And very, very cute!"

"Shut up, you!" Meredith poked him in the chest. "Now…are we eating breakfast or what?"

"If you cooked, I'm not!" Derek laughed.

Meredith managed a laugh and squeezed his cheeks together roughly.

"You are too cheeky for your own good, mister!" she told him.

"You love it!" Derek smiled.

"I do…" Meredith kissed him as he lowered her to the ground. "But, I love you more…"

"Come on…let's call in sick…go back to bed…" Derek whined as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"No…because _you_ have a hemispherectomy at nine and _I _am scrubbing in!" Meredith answered with a giggle. "Not to mention, Ellis Grey would stalk us out and feed us to the bears!"

"What…like that bear over behind the bush?" Derek asked.

Meredith screamed and grabbed his arm, only to look up and see a smile form across his face.

"You jerk!" she exclaimed.

Derek laughed and put his arm around her.

"Breakfast!" he told her.

--

"Hey, hey, hey!" Izzie said happily as Meredith walked into the locker room and threw her things down on the bench seat. "Long time, no see!"

"Izzie, I saw you about eight hours ago!" Meredith said as she shook her head repeatedly. "You were on call last night, I saw you as I left!"

Izzie shrugged.

"It's not the same at home without you!" she told Meredith. She looked up at George as he walked into the locker room. "George hogs the bathroom and I have no one to defend my battles!"

"Izzie, that house has three bathrooms!" Meredith said.

"I told her that!" George chimed in.

"The main bathroom upstairs has the best water pressure…and all my things are there!" Izzie cried. "You know…moisturiser, towels…tampons…"

"Izzie!" George yelled.

"What…tampons?" Izzie asked.

"Shut up!" George shouted.

"They're just tampons George…they go into vaginas!" Izzie cried. "They're just like a penis…except they're more environmentally friendly!"

"Bad…bad images in my head!" George covered his ears and walked into the bathroom. "Disgusting…informative women…" these words were still loud and clear in the locker room as the door slammed shut.

Izzie turned to Meredith.

"Now, see what I have to resort to?" she cried. "Oh, I have an idea…how about I cook for you and McDreamy tonight?"

"Only if you stop calling him McDreamy," Meredith replied.

"She can't…the name has manifested itself throughout the walls of the hospital…it's a compulsion amongst the women of Seattle Grace…" Alex said bitterly as he pulled his stethoscope from his locker.

"Why are you all making fun of me?" Meredith asked.

"Are you on?" Izzie pressed.

"Okay, I'll come to dinner," Meredith sighed. "But right now…_I_ am scrubbing in on a hemispherectomy with a world class neurosurgeon in OR2!"

And with that, she threw on her lab coat and strutted out of the locker room as Izzie turned to Alex and rolled her eyes.

"And that's the silver lining to screwing your boss!" she said.

"Dude, maybe I should get it on with Sloan…that way I may get in on some plastics cases!" Alex added.

"Sorry Karev, but I date women!" Mark said as he walked past.

Izzie burst out laughing and Alex turned a dusty shade of red.

--

"God, that was intense…he coded three times in the space of twenty minutes…" Meredith said to Derek as they stood at the scrub taps. "Do you think he'll make it through recovery?"

Derek shrugged.

"It's gonna be a tough one…but he's strong…" he said.

Meredith turned and smiled at him; she always looked at him like that after a surgery.

"What?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

"You're amazing…that's all…" Meredith smiled as she stood closer to him and ran her hands over his scrub shirt.

"Really…how so?"

"Just…because…"

As she stood up on her tip toes, she pressed her lips to his chin.

"Can't reach…" she giggled.

"How about this…" Derek reached around her waist and lifted her slightly so that his lips could close into hers.

"Thank you," Meredith answered with a smile. "Now, Izzie is cooking us dinner tonight, so we have to go!"

"Great! You know I can't resist Izzie's cooking!" Derek replied.

"Okay…well, I'll meet you in the foyer at say…six thirty?"

Derek kissed her forehead.

"Sounds perfect!"

--

"Hello?"

Meredith and Derek walked through the front door at the house as Meredith breathed in a whiff of the citrus fragrance that filled the air; something only she remembered from when Izzie went on a cleaning spree. It was also something she forgot from living at the trailer when everything smelled woodsy or piny.

"Izzie has been cleaning…" Derek commented.

"Some things never change…" Meredith answered.

Izzie and George raced into the hallway, pushing each other out the way like little kids and looking at Meredith and Derek with beaming eyes. They were most definitely up to something, but Meredith couldn't work out just what it was.

"Hey!" Izzie said happily.

"What's going on?" Meredith asked as her sparkling green eyes darted from side to side between George and Izzie. "What are you two up to?"

"Well…" George started but was rudely cut off when Izzie jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. "…OW!"

"Nothing, nothing at all!" Izzie laughed. "Come on, dinner is all served and waiting for you!"

Meredith and Derek eyed each other suspiciously and followed Izzie and George into the kitchen where Meredith drew in a sharp, inward breath.

"Oh…" she gasped.

Plastered across the wall was a banner reading "We Missed You, Mer" and sitting at the table was a roast dinner.

"Oh Iz…" Meredith chuckled. "George…"

"We just wanted to surprise you…it's been so long since you've been home and we missed you…" George told her.

"And I also need another woman to talk about tampons…" Izzie added.

"Izzie!" George yelled as he covered his ears. "Seriously?"

"Fine…I'll just call them a vagina plug!" Izzie shot back.

"Okay…enough with the tampons…" Meredith laughed. "Now, let's eat!"

George rested his hands on his stomach.

"Suddenly the thought of a vagina plug has made me lose my appetite!" he said. "But, I can't say no to roast meat…"

--

Later that evening, Meredith and Derek had agreed to stay at the house and were slowly making their way up to the bedroom. Derek guided Meredith up the stairs with one hand on her back.

"It's nice to be home," Meredith told him.

Derek nodded and smiled gently as he closed the bedroom door.

"I mean…don't get me wrong, I love the trailer…but there is something about this place…Izzie and George…well they're family…and this is…well…"

"Home?"

"Yeah…home…"

"I know…and this is a new life…Meredith…"

"It sure is…" Meredith said as she climbed under the blankets and pulled him close to her where she wrapped her arms around his torso. A trickling pitter patter on the rooftop sounded in echoes throughout the four walls of the room.

A new day had certainly come…

**I wanted to write this chapter...living with each other is something that Shonda will be experimenting with, and I want to do the same!! I hope you enjoyed the re-visit to George's tampon fear...Ladies, we can all identify with this male phobia!**

**REVIEW!!**


	21. I've Got You Under My Skin

**Apologies for these lengthy delays; but I am pleased to write this chapter. I think MerDer living together, well I think that they'd have some pretty interesting idiosyncrases! Derek, in particular...**

**ENJOY!**

There they were, staring her straight in the face, hanging from the towel rack. He'd rinsed them in the shower and now they were drying in the trailer.

Undies.

Now, Meredith didn't usually complain about Derek, because in all honesty, he was really easy to live with. And she usually didn't mind him doing the laundry because she'd had a red sock in white clothes incident one too many times.

But seriously…

Seriously!

This was the one thing she couldn't stand about him; the way that his underwear hung from every single hook available in the trailer.

"Good morning,"

His husky morning voice startled her drifting thoughts and she turned around to smile at him as best as she could.

"Hi,"

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her neck.

"Mmm…what time do you have to be at the hospital?"

Meredith shrugged.

"Oh, around eight," she answered. "But, Cristina wants me to go for a run with her this morning."

"Oh…" Derek groaned as he pressed his mouth into her shoulder and fluttered his eyes shut sleepily. "Sweetie, you don't need to run."

Meredith chuckled.

"You're very sweet, but running produces endorphins and therefore euphoria, people with highly active euphoria do not want to kill their resident!" she answered with a giggle.

_Or, in some cases…her boyfriend!_

"Well then, you better go for your run." Derek laughed.

Cristina burst through the door breathlessly.

"Hey, are you ready?" she asked Meredith.

"Yeah," Meredith answered as she looked at Cristina with a frown. "Did you run up the road?"

Cristina nodded.

"Have fun," Derek leaned down and kissed Meredith's cheek. "I'll see you at work."

Meredith turned around and smiled at him.

"Okay," she replied.

--

"God, I hate this hill!" Cristina whined.

"Mood elevators, Cristina!" Meredith told her.

"It's not the only elevation here!"

"Oh come on…this will make us feel great! And it will stop me wanting to kill Derek!" Meredith blurted out.

"Why do you want to kill him?" Cristina asked. "Stretch?"

Meredith stopped and rested her palms on her knees, looking at Cristina with a heavy sigh.

"It's going to sound petty and really pathetic…"

"Out with it!" Cristina cried.

"Well…it's just, I love living with him…but he…he just…"

"Leaves hair product all over the sink?"

"No!"

"Clips his nose hair in the kitchen?"

"Ew, no!"

"Well what?"

"He…" Meredith drew in a deep breath. "He leaves his underwear hanging all over the trailer!"

Cristina raised her hand over her mouth mockingly.

"Oh no, we've got a Code Green…the guy doesn't want to use power to wash his underwear!"

Meredith shook her head.

"Cristina, I'm serious…it's really disturbing to wake up and come face to face with the Calvin Klein underpants hanging on the door handle!"

"Ugh…you lived with Izzie too long…" Cristina muttered.

"Cristina, when we have sex, he takes off his underwear and strings it from the nearest hook!" Meredith told her.

"Okay, now that's just weird!" Cristina's eyes shot wide open.

"This is what I'm saying!"

--

"George…shut up!" Izzie screeched as she and George entered the locker room, clearly at each other for yet another day. These outbursts were not uncommon now that Meredith wasn't living at the house.

"It's so cool!" George protested.

"It's a waste of money!" Izzie shot back.

"What's a waste of money?" Meredith asked.

"George's ping pong table!" Izzie answered as she folded her arms and glared at George.

"A ping pong table?" Meredith cried.

"In the living room!" Izzie chimed in.

"O'Malley playing ping pong…now I'd pay good money to see that!" Alex said as he walked into the locker room and opened his locker, pulling out a packet of potato chips.

"Well, how about a ping pong tournament at the house?" George suggested to the group. "Tonight even?"

Meredith laughed.

"Sound's like fun to me!" she answered as she looked at Cristina and Izzie for some sort of support.

"Sounds like hell…" Cristina muttered.

"Cristina!" Meredith whispered quickly.

"Well…I don't play ping pong…I play _real_ tennis!" Cristina told them.

"Ha! You couldn't hit a ball!" Alex spluttered.

Cristina made a fist near his crotch.

"No, but I could hit two!" she warned.

"So…ping pong…" Alex moved away from Cristina and closer to Izzie. "Are you cooking?"

Izzie shrugged.

"Someone has to be responsible," she answered.

"Then, I'm in!" Alex told her.

--

"It'll be fun!" Meredith told Derek as they walked closer to the front door to the mad house, they could already hear the bickering, and George's drunken singing tones became more evident as they approached the entry.

"Mmm…O'Malley singing _Sexy Back_, sounds pretty fun!" Derek answered sarcastically.

"Hey," Meredith turned around to look at him, her back pressed against the door and her green eyes desperately searched his less than pleased expression. "Did you not want to come?"

"No, no!" Derek reassured her. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and smiled sweetly. "I was just joking,"

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked, still not entirely convinced with his romantic gesture.

"Yes…now, if you don't step aside, I will be naturally forced to pick you up, throw you over my shoulder and carry you inside!" Derek told her.

Meredith rolled her eyes and moved to the side, opening the front door and stepping inside.

"_I'm bringin' sexy back…YEAH_!" George sang as he wandered through the hallway. "Oh, hey!"

"Hey!" Meredith answered.

"Dinner's all ready, we're just waiting for you!" George told them.

"Oh cool!"

Meredith and Derek walked into the kitchen and took their places at the dinner table with Izzie, Cristina and Alex.

"Smells good, Iz!" Derek commented.

"You bet your ass it does!" Izzie answered.

--

"Yang! You're up!" Alex called from the living room.

Meredith scraped the food off the plate and looked at Cristina with a chuckle.

"How goes it with the underwear drama?" Cristina asked Meredith.

"Mmm…haven't talked about it…" Meredith muttered as she put the plate in the sink where Izzie washed it.

"Does, uh…someone wanna buy me a vowel?" Izzie asked.

"You dish and I'll take a whack," Cristina threw down the tea towel and walked into the living room.

Izzie looked back at Meredith and motioned for her to continue.

"So, what's the problem?" Izzie asked.

"I have a problem with Derek…"

"What kind of problem?"

"It's just a habit he has…"

"Does he drip hair product all over the trailer?"

"No."

"Leave used condoms on the floor?"

"Ugh, ew no!"

"Then what?"

"He…uh…he leaves his underwear hanging from hooks in the trailer!"

Izzie burst out laughing.

"Okay, I can see why you're creeped out!" she chuckled. "It's gross, isn't it? I once had a boyfriend who did it."

"And what did you do?" Meredith asked desperately.

"Strung them from the front porch," Izzie said with a laugh.

Meredith giggled.

"I can't do that to him!"

"So, just tell him it bothers you!" Izzie told her.

"Ow!" came a shriek from the living room.

"Was that…?" Meredith started.

"George!" Izzie cried.

They ran into the living room and came face to face with George leaning against the wall rubbing a large red spot on his forehead.

"What happened?" Meredith exclaimed.

Alex, in the meantime, was on the floor laughing hysterically.

"O'Malley was trying to block the ball and swung the bat into his face!" he spluttered.

"Oh George…" Meredith sighed. She looked at Derek. "I think it's time we went home,"

Derek nodded.

--

"See, I told you it would be fun!" Meredith said as she gripped Derek's arm and walked onto the trailer's porch.

"I love hanging out with your family!" Derek replied with a smile. "But, best of all, I love hanging out with you when you're with them…you have this smile that nothing could break!"

Meredith smiled and leaned up to kiss him. As their kiss deepened, Meredith felt her back press against the awning post; she was beginning to enjoy the kiss until something dropped onto her shoulder. Her eyes opened briefly for her to come face to face with a pair of damp Calvin Klein underwear.

"Oh my god!" Meredith cried.

Derek looked confused.

"What is it?" he cried.

"I…uh…" Meredith stammered.

"Meredith!"

"Derek…we need to talk about the underwear…"

"I'm sorry…" Derek sighed. "I just…well, I am so used to living alone and all these things are just what I do…"

"It's okay…I think, living with you is something I need to get used to and learn to appreciate…" Meredith told him.

Derek smiled and kissed her.

"We live and learn, honey!" he answered.

Meredith laughed.

"Don't call me honey!" she chuckled.

**Well, what did you think?? George is so the type to buy a ping pong table and well Derek, well it was either underwear or hair product! But how creepy??**

**REVIEW!!**

**Amy.**


	22. God Bless The Child

**Oh my gosh! I am soooooooooo sorry that it has taken me so long to update. It's been a very difficult month. I am keen to play around with the storyline a little over the next few chapters. It's going to be a new journey. This next chapter is a bit Medical, but nevertheless, the start is fluffy MerDer!!**

**Enjoy!**

Meredith rolled over on her side of the rather large bed that she and Derek were sleeping in. Now, in all honesty, the trailer was small. _Very_ small; but the bed was extremely oversized for its surroundings. Not that she was complaining, because Derek had a really, really bad habit of taking control of the blankets and keeping them on his side. This morning, naturally, was no different; but it was a terribly cold Seattle morning and Meredith was not about to give up her right to that blanket.

She huffed to herself and rolled over to face him. He was absolutely sound asleep and she almost felt bad about waking him from such a deep sleep. _No_, she thought to herself, _blankets are an essential_.

So with all her might that her small frame would allow, she tugged at the blanket that was tucked tightly under his muscular torso. And when it didn't budge slightly, she tugged at it again; this time, however, he started to stir.

_Great_, she thought, _at least he will wake up and give me some blanket_.

No chance, however. He rolled over onto the other side, his back now facing her; with the roll, he took the remaining blanket in his strong grip.

Meredith's eyes widened.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" she whispered to herself.

There was no other way around it now.

"Derek!" she said softly.

"Mmm…?"

"Wake up!"

"No."

"That's it!" Meredith exclaimed as she rolled Derek onto his back and straddled his waist; her long, bare legs dangling either side of him.

Derek's eyes shot open.

"What?" he asked.

"You took _all_ the blankets!" Meredith cried.

Derek frowned at her outburst.

"No I didn't sweetie…" he said quietly.

Meredith raised her eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah you did!" she cried. She pulled at the covers and pointed them out to him. "And if you don't give it back…"

"You'll what?" Derek asked as a smiled curled upon his lips.

"Well that very impressive morning glory that is starting to poke me in the pelvic area will be a very dim memory!" Meredith retorted.

Derek's eyes widened.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Oh, you heard me!"

"Okay, fine, no worries! Take it!"

Meredith smiled and willingly took the blanket from him, rolling onto her back and holding the covers tight around her neck. She felt his hands snake around her waist and hold her gently. His lips made connections with her neck and his fingertips started tickling her waist.

"Not now…" Meredith groaned.

"Why not? You're awake… and so am I!"

"Because I don't wanna..."

"Not even if I do this…"

Derek's hands moved closer to her shorts where they flicked at the waistband and slipped under the cotton briefly.

Meredith gasped.

"Mmm…" Derek smiled as his freshly cut fingernails grazed over the lace of her panties. They stopped suddenly and sat lightly in position. It was precisely the lack of movement that inevitably sent Meredith crazy.

"Oh…" she said breathlessly as she turned slightly so that she could face him. His eyes were darkening with his intentions and suddenly his lips swept down to catch hers in a fleeting kiss. And just as they kissed, his fingertips began creating pleasurable and desired pressure where they sat. Meredith felt her legs quivering at the soft movement and started kissing him harder.

And just as it was the music of their life, both their pagers began to beep, along with Derek's cell phone ringing incessantly.

Meredith groaned.

"Chief…" Derek said breathlessly. "Oh, I see, yeah of course, we'll be right there!"

He hung up and turned to Meredith.

"Massive casualty in…a gas main exploded at a Kindergarten." He told her.

Meredith's eyes widened.

"But Peds are already overrun!"

"There are neuro and general cases all over the pit, Mer!" Derek said as he threw a shirt on.

--

It didn't take Meredith and Derek long to get to the hospital and by the time they'd thrown on their scrubs and made it to the pit, Bailey and the rest of the interns were waiting for them.

"Okay, here's the thing – in that room, we have hysterical parents and seriously injured children," Bailey told them. "Triage them first because every parent is going to assure you that their child is worse than the next!"

Everyone nodded.

"I know this is going to be crazy, but I don't want any one of you getting attached or emotional in this situation!" Bailey warned. "Now, triage and assess the damage, let's go people!"

She opened the ER doors and screams flooded the ears of the doctors that were now entering the room.

"Oh man, this is like one of those horror movies that your mom won't let you watch, but you can't wait to see!" Cristina cried.

Izzie flared an angry and horrified look in her direction.

"Oh but then you see it and hate it…" Cristina added.

"Triage!" Bailey told them.

Meredith's eyes darted from side to side at the young injured children. She normally didn't like kids, I mean, yeah, she thought they were cute and all, but she didn't take any notice; at least not as much as Izzie. But as she looked around the room, she was haunted, fearful and suddenly filled with motherly instinct.

The first child she set eyes upon was screaming and holding their arm that looked as though it was beginning to blister. He'd been burnt badly and his mother was hysterically screaming out for help while trying to calm the screaming little boy.

Meredith raced over.

"Are you okay buddy?" she asked. She gently took his arm and gasped. The burning tissue was slowly seeping to the muscle. She whirled around to look at Mark desperately. "Uh, Dr. Sloan!"

Mark came straight over and nodded.

"Okay, it's probably the first OR case, so get him on some morphine, Grey and we'll set up for a graft." He instructed. "And then, I want you to take him straight to pre-op."

Meredith nodded.

"Wh-what are you doing with my baby?" the mother asked.

"What's your name, sweetie?" Meredith asked the little boy.

"Oliver…" the little boy replied.

"Oliver," Meredith turned to the lady. "We're going to take Oliver straight to the operating theatre so we can give him an immediate skin graft, but he should be just fine."

"_Should be_?" the mother repeated.

"Well, in any case like this, there are risks," Meredith replied.

The mother nodded.

"Holly?" came Derek's voice.

Meredith whirled around and looked at Derek's shocked face looking at the lady and Oliver.

"Derek?" the lady asked.

"Oh my god!" Derek rushed over and gave her a hug.

Meredith looked from side to side at the two.

"Meredith, this is my sister, Kathleen's best friend!" Derek said. He looked over at Oliver. "W-what? How did he get in the explosion?"

"We live here now," Holly replied. "We had some troubles with Oliver's father and we needed to get away, but I just…look what happened!" she broke down and started to cry.

Mark came over.

"Okay, Grey… pre-op for my little man!" he ordered.

"Mark, do you remember Holly Lewis?" Derek asked. "She was Kathleen's best friend!"

Mark shook his head.

"It's a bit dim in my old age, I'm afraid." He replied. "Now, we're going to take Oliver here to the OR, I'll be sure that Dr. Grey updates you as soon as she can,"

Holly nodded and leaned down to give Oliver a kiss.

"You'll be fine sweetheart," she promised him. "Mommy loves you,"

Oliver was beginning to look heavily sedated from the morphine and simply nodded in his mother's direction.

--

The graft was successful and Meredith happily informed Holly that Oliver would indeed make a full recovery. She wandered into the locker room and drew in a deep breath. Looking around at the children made her feel awful; particularly knowing that the morgue three floors down, hosted three new bodies of little children that weren't able to be saved.

"Hey,"

Meredith turned around to see Derek leaning against the door frame looking at her with concern in his eyes.

"Hey." Meredith replied gloomily.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really,"

Derek frowned and walked over, taking her hand.

"What is it?"

"It's just…Derek, all those children…" Meredith sighed with a tear trickling down her cheek.

Derek nodded and kissed her forehead as he drew her close to him. His large hands rubbed her back softly and one hand made gentle strokes through her hair. His breathing was as heavy as hers and somewhere deep down, the unfolding events of that day had already disturbed him.

**Okay, well Oliver and Holly are going to be new characters for a little while, Oliver will be a fun kid to play around with!!**

**I hope you enjoyed it, I look forward to updating soon!**

**REVIEW!**

**Amy.**


	23. Wreck Of The Day

**Thanks for the reviews everyone!! Now, Holly is NOT going to crack onto Derek; I would not put you all through that after EVERYTHING they've been through. You'll probably kill me at the end of this chapter!**

Pre-rounds were always the thing which Meredith hated the most about being a doctor, or an intern for that matter. It meant that all interns had to be up early, entailing mere sloppiness; it also meant that Bailey had to be there early. And, honestly, Bailey on pre-rounds at five a.m. was really all that needed to be said.

Izzie hadn't slept much the night before, but really, Meredith hadn't either. Izzie, like Meredith, had found an attachment to the children in the explosion, and this fact alone had sent her into a cleaning and cooking frenzy. As a result, the kitchen had been graced with muffins and chocolate cupcakes; chocolate cupcakes Izzie had insisted that we're quite right yet. Meredith and George, on the other hand, didn't agree with her and Derek had simply passed on them; to him, the thought of junk food at 4 a.m. was revolting.

Meredith was casually picking at her muffin after her early pre-rounds when the locker room door opened and revealed Derek. He stood there for a moment and leaned against the frame, smiling at Meredith softly.

"Hey," he said ever so sweetly as he made his way over to her; his scent lingered briefly in the closing gap between them.

"Mmm…these muffins are so delicious, you've just gotta try one!" Meredith told him.

But before she was able to push it to his lips and show him, his lips came crashing down onto hers.

Meredith almost felt flustered from the sudden impact of his lips and as his hands tightened around her waist to pull her in, he stopped, pulled back and smiled.

"They are delicious!" he concluded with a cheeky smile. He pulled away momentarily and touched her cheek. "Tell Izzie that I said thanks."

And before Meredith could reply, as her chest rose rapidly while she reeled from that intense kiss, her eyes widened as she watched him move to the door, leaving her utterly breathless. His long fingers reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly as he walked out.

Meredith couldn't believe he was leaving her in such a state.

"Seriously?" she cried.

--

Cristina and Meredith walked through the corridors a little while later; Meredith was busy tying up her hair while Cristina whined and complained about the lack of 'good cardio cases' available to her.

Alex walked over to them.

"Is it the Nazi's job to torture me today?" he cried.

Meredith shrugged.

"Well, I've gotta look after Oliver today, post-op day two and he's charging ahead as though he was post-op day four!" she said. "Seriously, his vitals are stable and his sutures have had no signs of clots!"

"Well, it's something in kids I think," Alex replied.

Meredith was about to reply when her pager beeped. She looked down at it and smiled widely and somewhat mysteriously.

"Secret lover?" Cristina asked.

"Even better," Meredith replied.

"Let me guess, McDreamy?" Alex chimed in.

Meredith turned around and smiled to herself as she saw Derek walking straight towards her. His lab coat was swinging from side to side and his hair flicked left to right in his face, his fingers sweeping it away. Meredith felt her heart double back as she watched his lips curl into a smile.

"Did you page, Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith asked coyly.

"I may have, Dr. Grey," Derek replied.

Cristina and Alex looked to each other as Cristina made fake gagging noises.

"Dr. Grey," Derek interjected. "Do you think you could come and check on a patient with me, I really think there is a lot you could learn from it."

Meredith raised her eyebrows knowing exactly what he was getting at.

"No worries," she replied.

As she turned to follow him, she casually turned around and winked at Alex and Cristina, before turning again and following Derek to an empty on call room.

She laughed as he closed the door.

"So, where is this patient, Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith asked.

Derek patted his scrub pants.

"In here, do you want to check it out, maybe do a brief exam?" he said cheekily.

Meredith almost laughed, but she played along with it nevertheless. She pulled at the drawstring on her scrub pants and let them fall to the ground, revealing the slightest glimpse of her black panties. She watched Derek's reaction change slightly, his eyes widening as she stepped closer.

"Mmm… yes, there is definitely some swelling there," she whispered in his ear as her hand travelled down the front of his scrubs.

"It _must _be fixed then," Derek answered as his lips came crashing onto hers; his momentary linger becoming too much for the force field around their lips.

--

Meredith giggled loudly as her and Derek exited the on call room. She looked around and with no one in vision, she turned back and kissed him gently; her lips sat perfectly on his as they begged for more. Yet her brain was telling her no more and with that, she did exactly what he did before and started to walk away. Not a moment too soon, she turned back around and smiled at him.

"You'll make a full recovery, Dr. Shepherd!" and with a light wink, she continued her euphoric stroll down the corridor of the surgical wing.

Her happiness, however, was soon to be short lived, particularly when she literally ran straight into Bailey.

"Oh… Dr. Bailey!"

"Dr. Grey, how are Oliver's post-op labs?" Bailey asked her with a frown; it was almost as if she knew where Meredith had been the past hour. Ah, who was she kidding? Miranda Bailey knew everything about everyone!

"His vitals are completely stable, and he's progressing as well as we could have hoped!" Meredith replied.

"And these labs were taken…?" Bailey pressed.

"Um…I…"

"Grey…"

"Pre-rounds…"

Bailey folded her arms and stared straight at Meredith; her brown eyes flaring with rage and consuming the blonde in an ocean of fear.

"I'll check again…" Meredith said quickly before turning and moving briskly down to Oliver's room.

While Meredith was conducting Oliver's labs, Holly entered the room and smiled at Meredith. Oliver was still asleep, so the two women whispered the conversation.

"How is he?" Holly asked.

Meredith smiled.

"He is great, he is really picking up a lot considering he is only post op day two," she told Holly.

Holly breathed a sigh of relief.

"I am so glad, we had so much trouble with Oliver's father and the thought of him not being safe…" Holly's voice trailed off. She looked at Meredith as she spilled her darkest story. "When Oliver was four, Michael, his father, used to drink a lot; and one day, after months of beating me, he pulled out a leather belt and hit Oliver repeatedly."

Meredith's eyes widened.

"Oliver had three fractured ribs and bruises that were so horrible I can't begin to describe!" Holly continued. "I realised then that I needed to get him away. Away from this person; so, one night when Michael was at the bar, I packed Oliver and I a small bag and we came on the next flight here."

Meredith nodded and before she could continue, Derek walked in.

"Hey Holly," he said smiling. Looking over at Oliver, he also smiled that direction. "He's doing well,"

Holly nodded.

"Holly," Derek grabbed onto Holly's hands. "Does Michael know where you are?"

Holly shook her head and brushed tears from her eyes.

"No," she whispered. "I'm unlisted, I haven't told anyone, except Kath,"

Derek nodded.

"Okay, where are you staying?" he asked.

"I…uh…"

Before Holly could answer, her eyes widened as a figure appeared at the doorway; a dark and shady figure that sent shivers through the spines in the room. Meredith also looked in that direction, but her fear didn't register like Holly's.

"Can I help you?" Meredith asked.

Derek looked up and his heart sank.

"Michael…" Holly whispered fearfully.

Michael walked into the room and closed the door chillingly carefully as he progressed over to the three.

Meredith felt her heart jump to her throat as she watched him reach into his pocket.

"You've been away Holly…you took him away from me," he said slowly as his voice registered low. His hand redrew from his pocket and revealed a small gun.

Meredith nearly fainted and Derek's eyes widened. Holly almost screamed in fear.

"Michael…what are you doing?"

"Now, everyone…" he said calmly in a way that made Meredith absolutely sick to her stomach. "Everyone, get down on the floor."

**I know, I'm horrible to leave a cliffhanger like that!!**

**REVIEW!!**


	24. Unchained Melody

**Thank you so much for the reviews though it has been so long since you've read. I appreciate those who consistently review, it makes such a difference. Though the end of this chapter is going to be awful, there is something very special coming your way!**

Meredith could feel her usually quiet heart racing at a pace she felt she may pass out. Looking down at her simple white gold chain, she could swear that she saw it beating off her chest in sync with her now pulsating body. Her breathing was rapid and shallow as her usually sparkling green eyes darted frantically across the room to lock with Derek's fearful blue. She then shifted her horrified gaze to Michael, now pointing his gun at Holly.

"Michael…" Holly whispered, still breathless and terrified in the same instant, yet trying her best not to disturb her son. "I…what…I mean -- "

"Shut up!" Michael yelled. Consistent with his nasty tones and uncontrollable anger, Oliver awoke to the booming voices around him from his previously peaceful and drowsy state.

Derek's eyes widened as he noticed Oliver awakening as he turned to Meredith while Oliver's eyes opened and fixated on the scene around him.

"Dad…?" he whispered.

Michael's tone softened.

"Yeah, it's me buddy, it's been a long time," he said walking over to Oliver, still pointing the gun at Holly. "Mommy took you away from me…but you're going to come back with me now,"

Oliver's hazel eyes filled with tears as he shook his head over and over again. His dark hair flicked desperately from side to side as he started to cry.

"No…" he said. "I wanna stay with mommy…"

Michael started to become angry.

"No!" he shouted. "Damn it, Holly! How could you make him hate me!"

Oliver started to cry.

"Mommy!" he sobbed.

"It's alright sweetheart, mommy's here!" Holly reassured him. "It's all going to be alright now darling."

"Shut up!" Michael yelled.

"Michael…you're scaring him!" Holly cried as her tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "I didn't make him hate you! You did that all by yourself!"

And with little warning whatsoever, Michael held the gun upright and let a shot fire through the air, causing Meredith and Holly to scream while Derek instinctively jumped across the floor to Meredith.

--

Two rooms away, Bailey heard the shot.

"Oh my ever loving…was that a gunshot?" she yelled.

The chief, Cristina and Izzie ran over.

"It came from room 2213!" Cristina said. She looked frantically at the room she knew held Meredith and watched the blinds being drawn instantaneously. Now there was no way of seeing what was going on.

The chief ran over to the room and went to open the door; it was no use, it was locked.

"Hey!" he shouted.

"If anyone breaks down this door, I'll kill them all!" Michael shouted back.

"Oh my god, someone call a code white! Stevens, call 9-1-1!" the chief said to them. "Someone's holding them hostage!"

Ellis ran over.

"Is it Meredith?" she asked.

No one would answer her.

"Is it my daughter, damn it?" Ellis yelled.

Bailey nodded, as did Cristina.

"Oh my god…Richard!" Ellis cried.

"It's okay honey, she'll get out, they all will!" Richard assured her as he enveloped her in a hug. But even he wasn't sure.

--

Meanwhile, Michael was pacing the room while Meredith had stood up and was trying to calm Oliver. Derek, on the other hand, was furious at the sight.

"Get back on the ground!" Michael shouted.

Oliver, by this time, had begun sobbing loudly. Even with Meredith's hand comforting his back, his sobs grew louder as he tried his best to get out of the bed and go to his mother.

"Meredith, please…get back on the ground!" Derek pleaded as best he could with the woman who was, without a doubt, the most stubborn woman he'd ever laid eyes on. But he loved her so much and couldn't bear the thought of her being in any form of danger.

"Oh right, Derek!" Meredith shot back. "I am really going to leave this poor boy alone! At the moment I am safer being here than Holly!"

"Hey! Both of you stop talking!" Michael yelled. He pointed the gun back at Holly and glared at her. "Make him stop crying, damn it!"

"I can't, Michael!" Holly sobbed. "You are doing this to him, don't you understand?"

Michael's eyes flared with rage.

"Well, it seems there is only one way to shut him up!" he went to move the gun in another direction.

"Michael!" Holly screamed.

"Michael!" Meredith shouted.

Michael growled loudly and directed his angry glare at Meredith, wondering why the hell she'd spoken out of turn, even more so, why the hell she was talking at all – she didn't know him, she didn't know his son, she certainly didn't know anything about his life!

"What are you doing?" Meredith cried. "You wouldn't hurt him – he is your son!"

Derek's eyes widened.

"Meredith…." He started.

"Derek, shut up!" Meredith said to him before turning back towards Michael and softening her face. "Michael, he is your son…why would you do such a thing?"

Michael almost lost his temper; instead, his voice shook with a whirlwind of emotions.

"If I can't have him, why should anyone else?"

"Michael… please…" Holly sobbed.

"Shut up!" Michael yelled as he directed the gun back towards her. "You started this! It's you I am angry with! Not him!"

He looked over at Meredith and back at Oliver who had now stopped crying and was shaking in Meredith's arms. His soft muffled sobs had become nothing but a shaking breath.

"Michael, let him go…let him go to another room where he won't be frightened!" Meredith pleaded. "He can't be in here..."

Michael stopped for a moment and stared at Oliver.

"Fine," he said gruffly. "Someone can take him out."

Meredith's eyes widened; underneath her small talk, she was mortified – never in a million years did she think that the words she spoke would make any sense (they never did). More so, she didn't actually think it would work.

"W-who…?" Meredith asked meekly.

"You decide, or I will! I only need two of you here – and if you don't decide, he will walk out by himself and even still, I will only take _two_ with me…" Michael threatened.

Derek turned around to look at Meredith.

"Derek…n-no…" Meredith sobbed.

"Mer…you have to go sweetheart," Derek whispered as he cupped her cheeks in his hand. "I have to stay with Holly; I can't leave her in here by herself – I need _you_ to go…"

"Derek…" Meredith started to cry. She couldn't take on the possibility that something may happen. "I can't leave you… please don't make me leave you…"

"Meredith…" Derek whispered with tears rolling down his cheeks. His hands shook as he realised that it could be the last time they, in fact, saw each other. "I just… I love you so much sweetheart,"

"I love you too…" Meredith sobbed. "Don't make me go!"

"You have to…and I just… if something happens…" Derek started to cry. "I want you to live your life…"

Meredith shook her head repeatedly.

"No…no, no, no!" she cried. "Please…I love you…"

"I love you." Derek told her as he kissed her softly. "Be strong Mer, you can do this!"

Michael grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and pulled her up where Meredith picked up Oliver and carried him to the door; his IV pole was following her slowly.

Everyone gasped as the door opened and Ellis stood there hopefully. As Meredith emerged with Oliver everyone ran over to them. By this time, the police had arrived and were about to barge through the door. As Meredith moved into the corridor sobbing hysterically, the police pushed through the door.

Richard grabbed Oliver just as three gunshots sounded through the walls.

Alex and George grabbed Meredith as she turned back instinctively.

"No!" Alex cried.

"Derek!" Meredith screamed. "Oh god! Derek!"

Her breathing grew shallow and her legs went numb; they gave way momentarily as the door to the room flung open. Izzie screamed in horror.

"No…" Bailey breathed fearfully.

Lying on the floor were Holly and Michael, both clearly dead. Derek, on the other hand was nursing a bleeding arm. A gunshot wound penetrated his upper bicep and his face was colourless.

"Derek…" Meredith sobbed before her vision caved and everything went black.

Everything, to her, was lost.

**I know it was awful to kill Holly, but there is a beautiful storyline coming your way...**

**REVIEW!**

**Amy.**


	25. I Believe In You

**Hi all!**

**Firstly, I apologise for the delay in update - life is hectic! Secondly, thank you so much for the response to the most recent chapter. I hope you enjoy how I am changing their lives, because I think they're ready for it!**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Meredith opened her eyes to come face to face with Bailey and her mother. She looked around the room, a little confused with where she was – but as her vision adjusted, so did her memory. And then it all started coming back to her; the gun, Oliver, those last few heart-wrenching moments with Derek…

Derek…?

Where was he?

"M…mom?" Meredith whispered. "Where…where…?" she still couldn't find words to form her sentences coherently.

"He's in surgery," Ellis answered. "They need to remove the bullet, but he seems to be just fine, Meredith."

Meredith's eyes widened.

"Sh-shot? Derek was shot?" she said as tears welled in her eyes. "W-what about Holly…and Michael?"

"Meredith," Bailey sat down on the bed and took Meredith's hands in hers, looking sadly at the terrified blonde in the bed. "Michael shot both Derek and Holly before turning the gun on himself."

Meredith gasped.

"W-what?"

"I'm afraid neither Holly nor Michael made it," Bailey told her gravely. "We were just lucky with Derek."

"But, he's in surgery!" Meredith started to sob. "He is in surgery because he _got shot_!"

"He's going to be alright," Bailey assured her.

"Mer…Meredith!" Ellis grabbed her daughter by the shoulders in an attempt to console her; shocking Bailey and Meredith in the mean time. Ellis had not been affectionate with her daughter in a long time. "Meredith, sweetheart, he is going to be just fine, it was a gun shot to the shoulder and he is pulling along in the surgery just fine, I checked on him about ten minutes ago."

Meredith nodded and let the tears flow down her cheeks as Ellis pulled her in close for a hug. Her usually stiff surgeon hands smoothed over her daughter's tangled hair and moved kindly to her cheeks.

"You're going to be just fine," she assured her.

"Mom, I need you to go and check on him," Meredith said to Ellis. "I need you to tell me how he is,"

Ellis nodded.

"Sure," she answered before walking out the door.

Meredith looked at Bailey and shook her head repeatedly.

"God," she whispered. "I can't believe this is happening."

Her eyes widened for a moment.

"Oh my god, where's Oliver?"

"He's up on pysch," Bailey replied. "Peds recommended that he have an evaluation after everything…"

"But…" Meredith's eyes darted frantically from side to side. "But, he has no parents… what's going to happen?"

Bailey sighed and shook her head.

"I guess, well, we'll call Social Services once we're more aware of what we're dealing with," she answered.

"_Social Services_?" Meredith repeated. "You know how hard it is to settle a child with them!"

"Then, he'll have to go into a group home for a while – as far as I know, Michael and Holly don't have any immediate family to care for him." Bailey replied as Meredith's eyes welled with tears while she shook her head repeatedly.

"Oh god, this is all my fault – I should have… I mean… if only…"

"If only, what if…" Bailey sighed. "Meredith, there is nothing else you could have done!"

As Meredith opened her mouth to reply, Ellis walked back into the room and smiled gently at her daughter.

"He's out of surgery," she informed her. "And everything went as well as we could have expected."

Meredith nodded.

"I need to see him," she said quickly.

Bailey looked at Ellis with raised eyebrows.

"Honey, I'm not sure…" Ellis started.

"Mom!" Meredith said loudly. "I _need_ to see him!"

Ellis nodded.

"Okay," she answered. "Come on…" she reached out for Meredith's hand and pulled her up from the bed. "I'll walk with you."

Ellis and Meredith walked down the hospital corridor, Ellis' arm was firmly wrapped around her daughter and Meredith walked as briskly as her shocked body would allow her to. As they reached the post-op room Meredith gasped. It wasn't that Derek looked damaged, aside the bandage around his arm, he looked perfectly normal. But it was in that moment she realised how close she came to losing him.

"Its okay," Ellis said as she gave Meredith's arm a gentle squeeze. "He's okay now."

Meredith nodded and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to it and taking Derek's better hand in hers.

Ellis turned and walked away from the room.

"Oh Derek…" Meredith sighed as tears flowed down her cheek. "Oh god, I am so sorry…"

Derek opened his eyes as he felt her tears fall on his hand.

"Mer…" he whispered.

Meredith looked up.

"Oh, Derek!" she said happily. "Oh, thank god!"

"I'm fine, sweetheart," he said to her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I am just so sorry…I'm so sorry…"

"What for?"

"For leaving you…"

"But Mer…" Derek sighed. "Sweetie, I told you to…"

"But, I should have stayed! I should never have left…"

Derek ran his hand down her cheek.

"You were so brave," he told her. "I am so proud of you…"

"Derek…" Meredith said. "What about Oliver?"

Derek drew in a deep breath.

"Well, Michael has a sister in Detroit – but I wouldn't want to send him with her for the life of me." He answered. "And Holly was an only child – I mean I could call Kath, but she's got three kids under seven and another would just be…well…a nightmare…"

"He can't go into a group home, Derek!" Meredith said.

"I know, honey, but we don't have a choice…"

"Yes we do…"

"What are you saying?"

"Derek, you know what I'm saying…"

"Meredith…?"

"He just, if we…"

"I'm not sure, Mer…"

"Derek, we can do it!"

"We're surgeons, Mer…"

Meredith sighed heavily and put her head in her hands.

"I just need to feel like…I just…that… that this hideous ordeal means something, that there is something bigger than the nightmare we've experienced…" she said as she looked up at Derek. "I need to know that nothing will ever happen to this little boy ever again…"

Derek ran his hand down her cheek.

"Okay," he told her.

Meredith's eyes widened.

"What?" she asked.

"Okay, I'm in if you are." Derek replied.

Meredith couldn't believe her ears as a smile plastered across her face. He was so amazing; everything she ever wanted, he was always happy to take it on board. She leaned down and pressed her forehead to his as she ran her hands down his cheeks.

"You are so amazing," she told him.

"It's not going to be easy." Derek replied.

"So long as I have you, I don't need anyone else," Meredith said.

Derek nodded.

When Richard was informed of the situation, it didn't take long for the temporary care board to file papers until the permanent care system could begin paper work. Oliver was still in his room when Meredith walked in.

"Hey, Oliver," she said with a gentle smile.

Oliver looked as though he was about to cry.

"Can we sit and have a talk, sweetie?" Meredith asked.

* * *

**Intentionally left there! But it will all begin to fall into place!**

**REVIEW!!**

**Amy.**


	26. Watch Over Me

**I know, it's been forever and I sincerely apologise. **

**Happy new year to everyone!**

**Now, I skipped time since the last chapter, because I figured everyone knows Meredith would have walked into Oliver's room explained he was going home with her and Derek and all. **

**Please enjoy!!**

Meredith drove carefully as she, Derek and Oliver made their way back to the house. Though the journey was never usually longer than ten minutes in light traffic, the time seemed to pass longer and the strangled silence was becoming eerie and tense in the rather large car.

Derek's arm was strapped tightly to his muscular body, just as had been the case for the past week since the incident; the same duration of time he'd spent in the hospital. It still caused him some physical pain, but nothing seemed to compare to the sheer pain and horror of watching Meredith walk out of the room. Nothing could ever mirror the agony of not knowing if he'd ever see her again.

Meredith was feeling the same, if not more, agony and fear that Derek was experiencing. With both Derek and Oliver in the hospital, Meredith had extended her shifts and had been working eighteen and twenty-four hour shifts with about a three hour break. The three hour break was spent in an on call room, because the fear of something happening to either one of them was becoming more apparent than ever and she felt that the more she kept them close, the less likely something would happen and more so, she was more able to control the situation.

But she knew somehow, she couldn't control it all day. She certainly couldn't have controlled what had happened in that room. And as a somewhat _mother_ to Oliver, her duty was to keep him safe.

"Meredith…" a voice interrupted her thoughts.

She looked ahead and realised that not only had her thoughts kicked into overdrive, but her driving must have also. She'd arrived home with no apparent knowledge on how she'd gotten there.

"Crap…" she breathed. "I mean…we're home…"

Oliver looked up from under his thick, dark fringe. His eyes hinted fear, but Meredith knew he was trying his hardest to be brave, no matter how much his face gave away his emotions.

As they walked onto the porch, Meredith fumbled for her keys as Derek rested his hand on Oliver's shoulder comfortingly. Unlocking the door, Meredith tried her best not to stumble through. And with Derek closely behind them, she guided Oliver into the house that was soon to become his new home.

Once settled, Meredith was trying to think of things that a mother would, or should in this case, do. She was at a total loss though. Her mother, Ellis Grey, hadn't exactly been a model mother, and even to the hour before she took Oliver home, Ellis still hadn't offered Meredith any motherly advice.

"Oliver," Derek said, interrupting the silence he'd noticed since they entered the house. "Are you hungry?"

Oliver's eyes temporarily lit up as he nodded.

_Food,_ Meredith thought to herself. _You didn't even feed the kid!_

Derek eyed her, as though he could hear her fretful thoughts, and Meredith knew her eyes were never deceiving. His beautiful walnut-shaped blue eyes were misty in that moment, but they did everything they could to tell her that it was okay; surprisingly, in that moment, Meredith felt at ease. But this was short lived as she realised in the next breath that there was nothing for her to cook, even if her feeble hands would give her the ability to cook at all.

Meredith's eyes darted frantically at Derek just like they did before, and just as he did before, he smiled.

"Oliver, this may sound like a really, really silly question, but do you like pancakes?" Derek asked him.

Oliver nodded with a near smile.

"Well, I am going to need you to be a big help," Derek said to him as he reached into the cupboard and pulled out two of Izzie's aprons, one of which said 'Head chef', Derek passed this one to Oliver, and another one saying 'Sweet as Pie' which Derek put over his head. Meredith laughed at the thought.

"Where's mine?" she asked.

"My dear, you will not be cooking, because you burn boiling water." Derek informed her. He turned back to Oliver. "Can you help me with the mixture, because I need two hands to help with my one hand."

Meredith smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

All three new family members helped cook and eat pancakes. When they'd finished, Oliver was beginning to look tired.

Meredith reached over and pushed his dark fringe from his face and smiled at him lovingly.

"Are you tired sweetie?" she asked.

Oliver nodded wearily.

"Well come on, I'll take you upstairs to my room…will you be happy to lie up on my bed?" Meredith asked.

Oliver nodded again.

"Okay, come here," Meredith outstretched her arms and Oliver went into them willingly. Derek watched on in awe, he knew how great she'd be with this, and he just wished that she knew that too.

Derek followed them upstairs where Oliver climbed up onto Meredith's bed.

"Can I have a blanket?" Oliver asked.

Meredith reached over and pulled the wool blanket from the arm chair, covering Oliver securely and running her hand down his cheek as she sat up on the edge of the bed.

"Just close your eyes, sweetheart." Meredith said softly as she ran her hand down his fair skinned cheek that was hinting a pink glow. "I know that this is al so hard for you at the moment, losing your mommy, but I promise, promise, promise that we'll make it work."

"Okay," Oliver whispered.

As Meredith stood up and began to walk away, Oliver stopped her.

"Meredith…"

"Yes, honey?" Meredith turned around with a soft smile planted on her face; anything that would make him feel better.

"Meredith, do I have to call you mommy?" he asked as he looked at Derek and then back to Meredith.

Meredith sighed heavily.

"Of course not, angel," she said. "Just know, that we will take care of you just as well as mommy did, okay?"

"Okay," and with that quiet and almost relieved response, Oliver closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Meredith and Derek walked back downstairs, and Meredith swore they took longer than usual before she made it to the living room.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked as he followed suit.

Meredith shrugged.

"I just don't know…" she sighed.

"You don't know what, honey?" Derek asked kindly.

"I'm not sure I realised just how hard this would be…" she sighed. "Like, he's just so…he's a little person, and I thought I could do this…"

"Well, you realised it wouldn't be easy, honey." Derek said as he reached out gently and ran his hand through her tangled and messy hair.

Meredith nodded.

"You look tired," Derek noted.

"I'm okay," Meredith lied (or at least she tried).

"Sweetie, it is seriously okay to be tired, more so in your case…" Derek said to her. "Seeing as though you haven't left the hospital in over a week…which is also something we need to talk about."

Meredith's brow furrowed slightly.

"Izzie has a big mouth," Derek clarified.

Meredith groaned and flicked her head to one side.

"Now, all I want you to do right now, is to go upstairs and lay down for a while." Derek told her. "There is no reason why you can't lie on Izzie's bed, or George's bed… even so, go and lie down next to Oliver."

Meredith sighed in defeat.

"Okay," she said with a sigh. "I guess and could go and lay on Izzie's bed for a while…but Derek, I need you to wake me when Oliver's away so that he doesn't think I don't want to be around him or anything like that…it's just a sleep might do me good…"

"Mer, he wouldn't think that…" Derek said.

"Derek…"

"Okay."

Meredith leaned over and kissed Derek lightly, letting her trembling lips make contact with his.

"Thank you…" she said.

"You're welcome."

"I love you,"

Derek pulled back for a second, studying the details of her face and letting a smile spread across his face.

"What?" Meredith asked with a small frown that was becoming evident in her brow.

"You haven't said that so relaxed and so comfortably in a very long time…" he explained. "I have to wonder, sometimes, if when you're saying it to me, it's as though you feel it's for the last time…"

Meredith leaned closer to him, her eyes were darkening in the green tones that flashed through them as she tensed slightly.

"The thing is…sometimes, I mean… a lot of the time… I feel like I am always one step closer… a second away… a moment from…" her voice trailed in it's weakness as her eyes fluttered to the fabric of the couch she traced nervously.

"From what?" Derek asked her softly, his voice nearly choking with the words as he tried to decipher her, at times, unusual code.

"From losing you…" Meredith said with a heavy sigh.

Derek looked at her in a way he hadn't in a long time. Her lost soul was beginning to resurface a midst her unhappy and uncertain week she'd experienced. He used his free hand to cup her cheek gently.

"I can guarantee you, one hundred percent, that you will _not_ lose me," he promised her.

"Derek…" Meredith choked. "You can't…you're a doctor – you know that science, medicine and _life_ can't guarantee us any longer than today!" she cried, almost furious with his attempt to console her. "Life, as far as I know, can't guarantee me squat, or anybody else for that matter!"

Derek nodded knowingly.

"Okay," he said with a smile. "I love you too."

He leaned over and kissed her.

"You know," he said. "You're actually better at this whole _mom_ thing than you give yourself credit for."

"No I'm not," Meredith answered with a scoff as she shook her head repeatedly.

"Do you know what the first step to being a good mom is?" Derek asked. "And, it's probably the most important step, as well."

Meredith looked at him, anticipating his probably well rehearsed response.

"I think that it is actually caring if you're being a good mother." Derek said to her. "I'm not sure if I could ever sit down and count the times that my mom worried about being a good mother – she'd ask us, my sisters and me, all the time if she was doing the right thing, you know, taking care of us in the right way, feeding us the right food, sending us to the right schools…"

Meredith looked at him intently as he continued.

"After dad died, she was so worried that raising the five of us on her own, with no real help from her parents, would have some sort of negative or bad repercussions; you know, everytime we'd step out of line, or doing something bad, break rules or something, she'd ask us, _am I doing something wrong_?"

Meredith frowned.

"My mother never asked me that," she sighed. "I mean…the year I met you, I was _way_ off the rails, you know, partying, drinking, I think at one point I was smoking…but you know, it was always _my_ fault…it was never a question of _her_ parenting…"

Derek smiled at her, knowing her thoughts without them even having to form audibly and as he stroked her cheek, he made her a promise.

"You'll never fail him."

And though she wasn't entirely convinced, because he was a doctor, not a lawyer; she may have not been entirely satisfied either, but in that moment she was determined to prove him right.

**REVIEW!!**

**Amy.**


	27. Author's Note and Song List

Author's Note: I thought that I should give a song list up to this chapter to show the artist and song which inspired each chapter, some of which you'll know, and others that may be new to you.

Order Follows In Chapter Listing

I Don't Wanna Be – Gavin De Graw

New York, New York – Frank Sinatra

Your Body is a Wonderland – John Mayer

Good Morning, Beautiful – Keith Urban

All Dressed Up In Love – Jennifer Hudson

Almost Lover – A Fine Frenzy

Manic Monday – The Bangles

A Little Too Late – Delta Goodrem

So Close – Jon McLaughlin

Burning Love – Elvis Presley

She's No You – Jesse McCartney

The Trouble With Love Is – Kelly Clarkson

The Little Things – Colbie Caillat

Don't Mistake Me – Keisha White

Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

Scratch – Kendall Payne

Open Your Eyes – Snow Patrol

Take My Breath Away – Berlin

Fall At Your Feet – Clare Bowditch

A New Day Has Come – Celine Dion

I've Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

God Bless The Child – From the _August Rush_ Soundtrack

Wreck of the Day – Anna Nalick

Unchained Melody – The Righteous Brothers

I Believe In You – Il Divo ft. Celine Dion

Watch Over Me – Bernard Fanning

Once again, apologies for the delay in updates, it has been physically impossible to update regularly.

Keep Reviewing!

Amy.


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